“You all right?” he asked, everything about fishing coming to a standstill as he rested his pole beside mine and covered my hand with his again.
“Yes, but . . . I have a confession, Carter.”
“Shoot, cowgirl.”
“I have this really bad habit of rebound dating. I just . . . I’m not good at being alone.”
He sniffed. “Tucker mentioned it.”
“So, that’s what you guys were talking about.”
“He just said to give you some space. That we’re both in bad spots for dating. He has a pretty good point.”
“Why’d you bring me out here, then?” I gazed out at the lake, the boat bobbed with the current, the forest ticked around us.
“As much as I think we’re not in the mental or . . . stable place, I think we’re headed there anyway. At least, in my mind it’s a definite possibility. If I can get past my demons.”
My heart was quaking as he slid a gentle palm to my cheek, coaxing me to look at him, his thumb traveling feather light across my chin.
“I’m feeling things for you I thought I’d never feel again, Lauren. I almost kissed you last night at the fire.”
A series of waves crashed through my system—longing, hesitation, bravery, fear.
“I would’ve kissed you back,” I whispered.
He pulled me closer, drawing my free hand to his chest as he pressed his lips softly to my brow. “I know I’m broken. But, I keep forgetting that part when I’m with you.”
I lifted my chin, savoring the feel of his heart beating beneath my palm.
“I’m so thankful that your . . . final plan didn’t work. That you came to Bridgeport. That you forced me down the mountain when I refused to go. That you’re here with me now.”
“If I’m being a hundred percent honest, imagining you in a white dress isn’t as hard for me as it probably should be for how fast this thing is going.”
A want in his eyes mirrored my own, and if this was any other situation, I’d be caving, but . . .
“I’m pregnant, Carter. I can’t let myself get amped about a summer fling. I need something solid.”
He slipped his hand out from beneath mine, his palm sliding across my growing stomach, strong, and warm, and tender.
“You being pregnant isn’t a bad thing to me, Lauren. Me and Megs . . . we were trying to start a family. But there were so many fertility issues, miscarriages, IVF. I’ve been wanting a kid for a long time.” His shoulders rose with his inhale. “I can’t promise forever, not right now. But I’m willing to give us my best shot.”
-CARTER-
I didn’t miss the shift in Lauren’s eyes, from fear to belief; and it was like we were already there, her in her white dress, with me at the altar. The thought should’ve scared me, but it didn’t. Out of everything I’d learned in life so far, some moments were worth risking everything over. This was one of ’em.
And even though I’d barely talked to God over the past year, I felt Him there, in the bond between us, reminding me the impossible was possible if He was in it. I felt Him promising me the family I thought I’d never get. It made so much sense when I stopped to think about it.
Ready-made? Sure. But perfect from my point of view.
I hear you, God.
Before I could think, I went for it, tilting her chin toward mine, meeting her where she was, so I could give her something to keep as proof. My lips brushed hers, and she released a shaky breath, her eyelashes fluttering. I pulled her closer, my mouth pressing to hers—gentle, and warm, and inviting. Her fingertips on my jawline clouded my senses.
She leaned in and I did too, running my fingers through that thick hair, tracing the curves of her soft shoulders, and wrapping her tight in my arms. She was more than beautiful, and the way she kissed me, like she’d die if I didn’t keep my lips on hers, like this, forever—made chills run down my body. Lauren’s breaths feathered gently against my cheek; everything about her was perfect. Man, I hadn’t felt this alive, this happy, this whole in such a long time. I had to prove to her that I wasn’t just another guy.
“I think it might be an uphill battle, cowgirl.” I dropped a kiss to the tip of her nose, and another to her cheek. “Are you sure you want to be in all the way?”
Her eyes glistened, shifting to my hand, still resting on her stomach. “A hundred percent.”
I swallowed against the lump in my throat, trying not to choke up because I didn’t deserve a chance like this. But if she was ready to give it to me, I wasn’t backing down.
“I’ve always wanted kids. So what if I end up getting one a little different than I thought I would in the end?”
“You know they’ll call us crazy.”
“There’s probably some truth in that. But why should we let it bother us?”
“Are you sure you’re ready for something new?”
“I wanted forever with my wife.” I lifted a shoulder, dipping my forehead to hers. “But, that’s not possible anymore . . .”
Her fingertips trailed the back of my neck, sending chills across my skin.
“I gotta figure out a new future, Lauren. Spending time with you has been helping me see that I can. I honestly think this is why God sent me here.”
As hard as it was to believe, I could say it truthfully. Everything about her had changed my perspective, and I wanted this. With her.
“We should talk, then.” She grinned, drew my face to hers. “In a minute.” She reached for my hair and released it from the hold it was in. Her dimples pricked as she ran her fingers through and pressed her lips to mine.
Letting her see me like this—exposed, but willing, wasn’t easy. But having her this way—shield down, confident, invading—was more than worth it. The girl was a warrior in her own right, and
