“We’ll go slow,” Lauren said, tossing bread crumbs to the ducklings at our feet. “No big announcements yet. I want you to spend some time with my family . . . if you’re cool to, and before we make any major decisions, you have to meet my best friend Mila.”
“Know what I think?” I asked. “You need to tell your dad about the marshmallow too. Sounds like you guys had a pretty good relationship at one point. I’m sure he’d want to know he has a grand-baby on the way. Might be a good time to heal things.”
Her eyes bulged. “No way. He said I chose sides when I chose California. He doesn’t want anything to do with me.”
“I highly doubt that.”
“You don’t know my dad.”
I could probably contest that statement. He was military. We were all the same to a certain extent. Tough on the outside. Tough in the middle. But even a man made of steel has a beating heart somewhere inside his chest. There was no doubt in my mind that Lauren’s dad would want a relationship with her if she was open to having one. But the hard look on her face told me it was a fight for another day.
“Remember my sister, Kellie?” she asked. “And how I’m planning to tell her about—” Lauren grinned “—the marshmallow? I mentioned coming for a visit on our last call. Are you still cool to come?”
“I told you I would and I will.” It came out harsher than I’d meant. “Sorry. Just weird thinking about meeting someone’s family again.” I tucked her hand in mine and drew it to my lap, running my thumb across her knuckles and back. “But I get that it’s important.” And I wanted her to meet my family, too. Mom would flip when I told her I was seeing someone new. Dad was always the hard one to read. Not sure what my siblings would do. Didn’t want to think about telling Megs’ parents.
Megs’ parents . . .
Lauren was a new start, someone God had brought into my life. Getting to know new faces would be hard, especially since I was still tight with Megs’ parents—but I could handle it. I hoped.
How was it possible that in some ways I felt like Megs had been with me here just yesterday? When, actually, I hadn’t seen her beautiful face in a whole year? The pain in my heart eased when Lauren looked at me with her honey eyes, a crease forming between her brows.
“What’s wrong?”
“Megs’ one year’s coming up . . .” So much had happened since that day. Would she even recognize me now? I honestly didn’t want to think about it.
Lauren tensed against me, but she nodded. “Are you stressing?”
“I’ll cross that bridge when I get there. But her parents want to have this big memorial service. I was thinking . . .”
Man, could I really ask this of her right now?
“Thinking what?”
“I was thinking it’d be kind of nice to have you there with me. If you think you can handle it.”
She sat there quiet, chewing on her thumbnail, legs swinging over the edge of the dock.
“No pressure,” I added.
I couldn’t read the silence and I didn’t want to scare her off. It was way too soon to be asking her to do things like this with me. I knew that. But, the thought of having Lauren at my side, holding my hand through the memorial service, already left me feeling calmer, the wrench of guilt, of agony—soothed.
“You sure you’re ready to introduce me to your family? I’ll be the first one you bring home since she passed, right? What if they don’t like me?”
“Is that what you’re worried about? That they won’t like you? You’re crazy, girl.”
“What if they’re not ready for a new woman in your life? We’ve only known each other a couple weeks. You were married, Carter. It’s not like she was some fling. She was part of your family.”
“Yeah, and maybe you will be one day too.” Dang, I shouldn’t be making promises on the future yet, but something about all of this told me they weren’t anywhere near empty.
“If you really want me there, I’ll be there.”
“Yeah?”
She turned a shy grin on me I hadn’t seen before. “Yeah.”
Back at the women’s lodge and standing beneath a huge sequoia, I could honestly say I was happier than I’d been since before the accident. The want to was there for the both of us and the chemistry was off the charts, but mostly, it felt like we were walking down a path we were supposed to be on. I let out a sigh of relief as I pulled her into my arms.
“Can I walk you to breakfast tomorrow?” I asked, hoping I’d get to see her pretty face first thing in the morning.
“Only if you don’t mind getting there last. I like to sleep as late as possible on Sundays.”
“You pretend like you could handle military,” I tugged her closer. “It would crush you, cowgirl.”
“Ha. Maybe.”
Her dimpled smile sent shivers down my spine.
“Tell you what, I’ll get my workout in early, then. Meet you here at nine?”
Eighteen
-LAUREN-
Carter didn’t show at nine, or nine fifteen, or nine thirty.
I felt so stupid, just standing there while all the other staffers went in to breakfast. My hands twisted in my T-shirt, and I couldn’t believe I’d decided on my ratty cutoff jeans and boring flip flops. I pressed my forehead against the rough bark of the tree, hiding my naked face from the world.
How could he do this to me? Was it something about our date?
Maybe it had nothing to do with last night. He could’ve went MIA for a million different reasons, and I shouldn’t be offended that he didn’t show. Maybe one of his Megan memories resurfaced.
He’d said random memories sprang up all the time, and it totally could’ve happened again. I mean, he met her here. A tinge of jealousy
