I didn’t care that she noticed me looking; beauty like hers was rare, and being so close to it was something I didn’t mind showing I enjoyed. I did realize that, with all the staring, I hadn’t been paying attention to her explanation.
“I told Ser Rosewood that I also wanted to see you burn in hell for your, uh, your sins,” she was saying, “and he said—”
“Get to the point, blondie,” I growled. “Didn’t I say ‘10 seconds’ earlier? Check your sundial; I’m pretty sure you used up that time slot several times. You’re living on borrowed time, and I charge some pretty hefty interest on loans.” I had no intention of killing her, but a little fear did a lot to loosen tongues.
She gulped, and her delicate hands trembled. “Okay, okay. Forget about how I got here, let me just tell you why. I need your help. And I can help you in return.”
“Oh, really?” I asked. “And what exactly can a novice cleric do for me that I couldn’t just do myself?”
Looking at her tantalizing body, concealed so frustratingly beneath that frumpy white robe, there were many things I’d love for her to do that I couldn’t do myself.
“I’m no novice, I’m a bishop!” The anger vanished from her face as quickly as it had appeared, and her shoulders slumped as she continued. “But I guess you wouldn’t know that by looking at me. Yes, I’m wearing the simple robe of a novice, but that’s only because I was stripped of my former rank by Bishop Nabu of Erst.”
I thought about cracking a joke about another kind of stripping I wouldn’t mind watching her do, but I kept my mouth shut. I was intrigued as to why a bishop of the church would come looking for help, from me of all people. I was pretty sure that by this point, I was at the top of their heretic hit list, or whatever those pompous assholes called it.
The woman sighed and shook her head, and for a moment, it seemed that she was going to give in to the grief that was obviously weighing on her shoulders. But instead, quick, hot anger seized her.
“That viper stole everything from me,” she said as she clenched her fists. “That greedy, lying, thieving, murdering snake! He took everything I worked so hard for. The vile bastard just snatched it away from me!”
Maybe this girl wasn’t quite as meek and spineless as I had thought. In fact, it seemed she actually had quite a feisty side to her. I wondered, grinning slightly as I did, if this feistiness could also be seen in other activities she engaged in. Activities that were strictly forbidden for members of the clergy, true—but if this girl was willing to seek out the help of someone at the top of the church’s shit-list like me, I figured she might be willing to bend the rules in other areas, too.
“Okay,” I said, doing my best not to break out into a shit-eating grin, “so, this Bishop Nabu ruined your life. I get it. But what does that have to do with me?”
Her hazel eyes became as hard as granite, and the muscles of her face tightened with a deep fury.
“I want you to kill him,” she said calmly. “That’s what you do, isn’t it?”
I chuckled. “That is what I do, yeah. But I’m not a psycho; I don’t just go around killing people for no reason, despite what your shit-for-brains church superiors have no doubt told you. I mete out justice, blondie, justice—do you understand me? I’m not some wine-sotted cutthroat you find in an alley behind a tavern who’ll gladly take a few coppers to stick a rusty knife between the ribs of the man who’s putting his prick in your wife while you’re plowing day and night on your dusty, barren field—well, in your case, er, woman, husband, you know what I mean. I deal in justice.”
“I’m well aware of your ethical code,” she said.
I was a little surprised to hear this, to be honest. It seemed that my reputation was growing.
“Isn’t killing a man who’s a greedy, unrepentant liar, thief, and murderer justice?” she asked. “He’s done a lot worse things than many other people you’ve killed, I’d bet.”
“Right now, it’s your word against his,” I said with a shrug. “How do I know he’s guilty of any of the things you’re accusing him of? And before you answer that, I also want to know just what kind of ‘help’ you think you can offer me.”
“Well, I, um… I didn’t realize you were a necromancer, in addition to being an assassin. I thought that maybe, um, we could work together for a while. My holy powers—”
“Call it ‘magic’ like everyone else does, sweetcheeks.” I twirled Grave Oath in my right hand. “Listen carefully: the first thing you need to understand about me, if you’re proposing this ‘working together’ thing, is that I cannot fucking stand the holier-than-thou bullshit-talk that you churchies use. Seriously, just using that language in my presence is grounds for your soul to get sucked into this dagger in my books, got it?”
The young woman swallowed slowly and nodded. “Okay. I understand. So, I was thinking that my, er, magic, could complement your assassin skills pretty well, but I guess, since you have a few magical abilities of your own…”
She trailed off, looking dejected.
“My magical powers are actually brand spankin’ new,” I said. “As in before I stepped into that crypt, I didn’t have ‘em. I was never much of a magic fan before, but now that I’ve had a taste, I have to say that I’ve—how do you church people put it?—seen the light.”
“It’s quite something, the first time, isn’t it? The feeling of… real power. It’s quite addictive, to be honest. Um, anyway,” she continued, blushing, “I guess that
