While I certainly didn’t need any help—especially with the new powers I had obtained from Isu—the truth was that, I was feeling pretty sympathetic to the young woman’s situation. If this Bishop Nabu was even half the asshole she said he was, he deserved to taste Grave Oath’s cold steel. There was more to my sympathy for her situation than simple justice though; I knew how she felt right now. I knew exactly how she felt.
“I’ll be honest with you… uh, what’s your name?”
“I’m Elyse.”
“Okay, Elyse, I’ll be honest: I don’t need anyone’s help. But, you and I, we have something in common, something that makes me think that maybe we should work together.”
“What exactly is it that you, Vance, an assassin and a necromancer, could possibly have in common with me, a bishop? I… I mean no disrespect, but it seems obvious to me that we are, well, quite different.”
“Different people, yes, but we’re both victims of the same crime. Your bishopric was stolen from you by a scumbag priest. My lordship was stolen from me by a scumbag uncle.”
She gasped. “Lordship? You’re a nobleman?”
I flashed her a smug grin. “Vance Chauzec, Lord of Brakith, at your service, Bishop Elyse.”
“I… I had no idea.”
“Why would you? The church pricks want you to believe that I’m nothing but gutter scum. Actually, come to think of it, the Bishopric of Erst borders the lands of one of my—well, now my uncle’s—vassals. I wouldn’t be surprised if my uncle and Bishop Nabu know each other and scratch each other’s crooked backs from time to time.”
I had made up my mind; I was going to help Elyse, and not just because I wanted to get her out of that unflattering cleric’s robe. She and I had both suffered the same injustice, and I wasn’t going to let a valid excuse to stick my dagger into some corrupt bishop’s flabby neck fly.
“Does this mean that… that you’ll—”
“Yes,” I answered with a swift smile. “I’ll help you get your bishopric back. And when I’ve done that, you can help me get my lordship back.”
Elyse’s face broke into a radiant smile before she raced over and threw her arms around me. Before I could reciprocate, she had released me and stepped back, blushing furiously and staring at my feet.
“I’m sorry,” she mumbled. “I don’t know what came over me.”
I winked. “It’s an effect I regularly have on women. Don’t beat yourself up over it; you’re a woman too.”
Her embarrassment morphed rapidly into indignation—faux indignation, but quite convincing.
“What? No! No, it’s nothing like that at all.”
“If you say so, Elyse. Anyway, the sun is getting low, and if we’re going to be visiting the Bishopric of Erst, we may as well set off now. There are some good spots to camp out in the woods around five miles from here.”
“Fine,” she huffed. She was still pretending to be offended, but pretty soon, I caught her checking me out when she thought I wasn’t looking.
Throughout this whole conversation, my skeleton had just been standing around with the dead paladin’s sword in his hand. An amusingly wicked thought entered my mind as I glanced over at the weapon: wouldn’t it be fun to run this Bishop Nabu through with a paladin’s sword? That would be a deliciously appropriate way to deliver justice to the man who stole a bishopric.
“I’m bringing him with us,” I said to Elyse, nodding in the skeleton’s direction.
She stared at the skeleton, and a shudder of unease rippled through her.
“Is it really necessary to bring that… unholy thing along?”
“You can do things my way, or you can do them alone,” I said, folding my arms. “Your choice.”
Her eyes remained locked on the skeleton, but she knew there was no way around it without losing my help.
“Just keep that abomination far away from me,” she muttered, turning to the bushes to retrieve her knapsack and staff.
I gathered my things together and prepared to set off. Before I left, I shot one last look down into the darkness of the crypt.
“Thanks for the awesome gifts, Isu,” I murmured. “I’ll make damn sure I put ‘em to good use.”
I wasn’t really expecting a response, but just as I was about to turn away, a sudden gust of icy wind howled out of the crypt and swirled around me. This time, the currents of air did not take on her shape, but it was her voice being carried on the whirling wind.
“Why are you wasting your time helping this flaxen-haired airhead?” Isu’s voice hissed. “She is a servant of the Lord of Light.”
“Helping her will ultimately help me.”
“She serves a rival god. Leave her to solve her own problems, and walk the dark path alone.”
Was that a hint of jealousy I could detect in her voice? I couldn’t resist flashing the invisible goddess a smirk as I replied.
“What’s it to you who I choose to help or hinder, Isu? I’m feeding you souls either way, both of us upping our powers. Why do you care what god she serves anyway? I don’t give two shits about the Lord of Light; you know that as well as I do. I only care about getting my lordship back, and this is a means to that end.”
“She is distracting you from your true purpose.”
“Oh, really? And what is my ‘true purpose,’ according to you? You know what—don’t bother answering that. I’m doing whatever the fuck I want, and if you don’t like that, well, you can just take back your gifts. I don’t need your help, and I don’t owe you anything.”
Part of me thought that maybe it wasn’t the best idea to insult the Goddess of Death, but my honor overrode this caution. Nobody tells Vance Chauzec, Lord of Brakith, what to do. Even immortal goddesses. Besides, she needed me. She knew I was the best man for Grave Oath, that nobody else would suck
