Murmurings of awe flitted around the pirates as they took in the sight of my army. Every man’s eyes were locked on the spectacle... every man but one.
“All right,” Argryl said when my army had assembled across the cliffs. “We can fit ‘em all in if we pack ‘em tight. I’m guessing comfort ain’t no problem for the undead, eh?” He paused here to cackle at his weak attempt at humor. “Aye, aye, we’ll be able to get you and your army across the ocean to Yeng, no problem. So, let’s get down to business. How much gold have you brought wi’ you? Let’s see if we can work out a fair price.”
I gave a nod to Drok and Rollar, who were each carrying two sacks of gold coins. They walked up to Captain Argryl and dumped the sacks at his feet. He squatted down and examined them, and the grin on his scarred face broadened considerably.
“Aye, aye, that’s a fair price, all right. I’ll take you across the ocean... but there’s one more thing I want.”
“There’s far more gold in those sacks than you deserve, Argryl,” I said.
“Oh, I’m not asking for any more gold, Lord Chauzec. No, I want something different.”
“Speak plainly, pirate.”
“Just to enjoy the intimate companionship of one of your lovely ladies in my chamber every night.” Argryl stared hungrily at the women. “Wi’ so many ravishing beauties, surely you wouldn’t be so stingy as to keep ‘em all to yourself, now?”
I chuckled humorlessly and shook my head. “I think I’ll let my women answer that question, Argryl. Ladies, what do you think?”
Of course, I knew exactly how they would respond.
“I’d never let such an oily, smelly vagabond touch me, not in a million years!” Elyse hissed.
Friya gripped the Cloak of Changing tightly. “If you came within 10 feet of me, I’d turn into a werewolf and rip your head off.”
“The only pleasure I could get from a scumbag like you is watching you die... slowly,” Isu snarled.
“A goddess does not lower herself to be spoken to, much less touched, by an ugly rogue like you,” Anna said haughtily. “In my eyes, a worm like you is worthy only of contempt.”
“I know of many ways to kill you, you disgusting troll,” Rami-Xayon said, “but with the foul stench that emanates from your body, I’d choose one that involves a projectile weapon from a long distance.”
“My people frequently devour humans,” Layna said, “but not even our cleaning spiders would touch a pest like you.”
“There you have it, Argryl,” I said. “Even if I asked them to, which I’d never do anyway, not one of my women would touch you with a 10-foot pole. They’re off the bargaining table, and you’re a piece of rancid goblin shit to have ever thought they were on it in the first place.”
“Bah!” Argryl spat. “You and your stuck-up whores can keep yer gold and stay in Prand. I won’t take the likes o’ you on my ships!”
“You’re lucky that I’m feeling merciful tonight, Argryl,” I said. “Because calling my women ‘whores’ usually gets a man’s tongue ripped out and shoved down his throat. You’d better start running before I change my mind.”
Argryl spat again. He no doubt wanted to hurl another few insults my way, but he could see the deadly threat simmering in my eyes and wanted to keep his tongue for his future gross lip-licking. He turned around without another word and strode briskly off, beckoning to his men to follow him. They did, grumbling among themselves about their captain’s stupidity and stubbornness.
“There goes another opportunity,” I said. “We could kill the pirates, but then we’d have no one to sail the ships. I doubt any of you have much experience on that front.” I looked to them, and they all shook their heads as I’d suspected they would.
“Captain’s Challenge,” Rollar murmured next to me, sounding almost as if he was talking to himself. “Yes, yes, of course, Captain’s Challenge!”
“What’s that?” I asked.
He turned to me with a look of excitement. “Lord Vance, when I was soldiering with the Splendorous Army, there was a man I served with, a former pirate. One night in camp, while drinking around the fire, he told me about this thing in the world of pirates called the ‘Captain’s Challenge.’ You can challenge another pirate captain to a one-on-one duel to the death, in which the winner takes everything, including the loser’s ship and crew. Only thing is, though, you have to be a pirate captain to call out a captain’s challenge.”
“In that case, we need something that will make it worth his while to fogoe that little stipulation.” I turned to my women. “Ladies? I’m going to offer you up as a reward for winning this fight, but I’m not going to let Argryl win.”
The women shared looks before Isu spoke for all of them, “We trust you. Kill this foul man and take his ships.”
I grinned as I turned around and saw that Argryl and his men were about to descend the path that would take them off the cliffs and down into the cove.
“Argryl!” I yelled out to him. “The women are on the negotiating table, along with the gold!”
Argryl stopped and looked up at me in the gloom of dusk, and I could see a wide smile spreading across his ugly face. He swaggered back to me, his men at his back.
“Oh really?” he asked. “Well, well, well, I knew you’d eventually come to your senses. After all, the bitches don’t have to be willing for me to enjoy their bodies.”
“There’s one condition, though.”
“And what might that be?”
“I call a Captain’s Challenge. If you lose, your ships and crew are mine. But if you kill me, my gold, women, and army are yours. How does that sound, pirate?”
“If you swear a blood oath to fight me like a man, wi’ steel and fists only,
