For a moment, everyone was silent, but then a great cheer thundered out, not only from my party, but from Argryl’s crew too. The pirates, I was surprised to see, whooped and grinned like madmen.
“That was the best damn duel I’ve ever seen!” one of them roared.
“Your bladework was bloody masterful!” another one yelled.
“Good riddance to that bastard Argryl!” yet another pirate shouted. “He was a stingy, tightfisted asshole of a captain.”
“Three cheers for our new captain!” a burly pirate with a peg leg bellowed. “Three cheers for Captain... wait, what’s your name, my lord?”
“Vance Chauzec, God of Death,” I said with a bow.
“Three cheers for Captain Chauzec!” the peg-legged pirate yelled as he punched the air.
“Hurrah! Hurrah! Hurrah!” the pirate crew roared.
“You,” I said to the peg-legged pirate, a burly, bald man in his 40s, with a paunch the size of a wine barrel and two bandoliers of throwing knives strapped across his broad torso. “What’s your name?”
“I’m Percy, Captain Chauzec, and I’ll be your first mate, if you’ll ‘ave me. I was first mate to Argryl, and I did a ‘alf decent job on his ships, I did.”
The other pirates all nodded and murmured in agreement. They seemed to like this Percy, so I figured he’d be a good first mate and a good assistant to have on the ships, seeing as I wasn’t much of a sailing expert.
“Very well, Percy, you’ll be my first mate,” I said.
“And it’ll be an honor to serve you, Captain Chauzec,” he said.
“I’ll double whatever Argryl was paying you,” I said to the pirates, which elicited enthusiastic cheers, “but I do have some rules I expect you all to follow.”
“Aye,” Percy said, “let’s hear ‘em, and I’ll make sure every one o’ these scurvy dogs obeys ‘em to the letter, Captain Chauzec. You can count on me to maintain discipline at sea, you can. Every one o’ these bastards knows that I’m not shy with the cat o’ nine tails, and if any o’ them really piss me off, they know that I’ll give ‘em a keelhaulin’, or make ‘em walk the plank!”
“My rules are quite simple,” I said to him, “and there aren’t many of them, so I don’t think any of you will have any trouble remembering them. First, my women are off limits at all times. Don’t try to talk to them unless it’s a matter of urgency, don’t harass them, don’t catcall them. Hell, it’s probably better if you all try to pretend they’re not even there. And if you break these rules, it won’t be me kicking your sorry asses; it’ll be the women themselves. Each of them can handle herself well, I promise you that.”
“Aye, Captain,” Percy said. “I promise you, none of these pirates will bother your lovely ladies. If they do, they’ll get a bloody keelhaulin’, they will!”
“Second, all of you are to take one of these coins.” I took one of my golden Death coins out of my pocket, “and keep it on you at all times. It’s especially important that you all have one of these coins on you when you fight; that way, the souls of the enemies you kill will go directly to me.”
“We’d be honored to worship the God o’ Death.”
“Good. Third, don’t fuck with me. Take that to mean what you will, but I think it’s self-explanatory. You do what I tell you to do, you don’t ask questions, you don’t challenge my commands. Don’t argue with me, don’t make stupid comments, and don’t steal from me. I’m a generous man, and like I said, I’m doubling your pay, but if you try to take advantage of that generosity, you’ll see a very different side of me, a side much more like the one I showed to your late captain.”
“Aye, Captain,” Percy said. “Don’t worry; we’re pirates, yes, but we operate under our own code o’ honor. We don’t steal from our own, and any man who does walks the plank. Any more rules, Captain?”
“One last one, yes—no wanton killing of people. No raping, no looting of innocent merchant ships or ports. Kill all the enemies you want, and kill anyone who deserves it, but no innocent victims. Is that understood?”
This one caused the pirates to pause for a moment. I figured they would find this stipulation a little hard to swallow, being pirates and all. They all got together in a huddle and exchanged some heated words. Percy punched one square in the face, and it seemed to resolve whatever conflict they’d had.
“We understand, Captain Chauzec,” Percy said with a solemn nod. “Don’t we, boys?”
All the pirates said “aye”.
“Good,” I said. “Now that’s over, let’s get this army and my party onto your ships, and let’s set sail for Yeng right away. I’ve wasted enough time already.”
“I’ve got no problem with that, and the crew have been eager to get out to sea for days anyway. Come on, let’s get your skeletons and zombies on board. We’ll be out at sea within the hour.”
And so we were. My army was split in half, and they went into the holds of two of the ships. As for my party, we would all be on the main ship, with First Mate Percy and a couple other pirates. Rollar’s direbear came with us too, as well as Talon and Fang. I needed Talon with me for scouting ahead and for carrying me between ships if necessary.
We slipped out of the coastal waters of Prand in the dead of night,
