‘You need to go to her,’ Nellie repeated more forcefully. ‘I can take care of myself.’
After all, isn’t that what I’ve always done?
‘But, Nellie, I...’
‘I said go to her.’
‘But we need to talk. We have to talk. This has changed everything between us.’ He gestured towards the table.
Nellie nodded, but pointed towards the door. ‘All right. But first you need to find Lady Cecily. You need to talk to her first.’ He nodded, but remained rooted to the spot. Nellie gave him a small push. ‘Go.’
He nodded, paused, then headed towards the door. ‘Wait for me, Nellie. We must talk about what has happened,’ he said over his shoulder as he departed.
Nellie leant back against the table, her legs weak, her body completely drained of all energy. She closed her eyes and tried to breathe slowly and deeply. She needed to compose herself, to try to make sense of what had just happened and think about what she was going to do now.
Slowly her racing heartbeat returned to its normal rhythm. She opened her eyes, looked down and saw her blouse, the buttons undone, her chemise pulled down below her breasts. If Nellie needed a reminder of her slatternly behaviour, her dishevelled clothing would provide it. But she didn’t need a reminder. She knew what she had done was wrong. She pulled up her chemise and quickly buttoned up her blouse.
Then she saw the innocent book, abandoned on the Persian rug. It had fallen from her hand when she had kissed the man she shouldn’t have. She picked it up and replaced it on the shelf, wishing the damage she had done could be mended just as easily.
How long Lady Cecily had been standing at the door watching, Nellie had no idea. But even if Nellie had seen her the moment she had arrived, Cecily still would have seen enough to know what was going on.
The burning on Nellie’s cheeks burst into an inferno of shame. The Duke of Ashmore had accused her of being Dominic’s mistress. She had been outraged by his suggestion, yet how she had behaved had exceeded even the low standards that the Duke considered acceptable behaviour. He had said he didn’t object to Dominic having a mistress, even expected it of him, but the Duke did expect discretion. And discreet was one thing their behaviour most definitely had not been.
Nellie placed a trembling hand on the table. This was terrible. Lady Cecily had never done her any harm and now she had caused her such distress, she had probably ruined Dominic’s chances of making a good marriage. Something he wanted so much. She’d probably brought shame on him and the family, ruined Miss Lockhart’s chances of making a successful marriage and the younger sisters’ chances of being presented at court. All because she couldn’t resist a man who could never be hers.
She might not approve of the way the upper classes bargained and manoeuvred to secure the best possible marriage deals, but it wasn’t her place to ruin other people’s lives. Dominic wanted to marry Lady Cecily. He wanted his sisters to move in higher circles than they already did. Whether Nellie approved of such aspirations was neither here nor there. She shouldn’t be ruining other people’s lives just because she couldn’t resist an attractive man. She should not have succumbed to her passions, not when it could cause so much damage to so many people.
Nellie could not imagine what the conversation between Dominic and Lady Cecily was going to be like. If she was Lady Cecily, she would be tearing him limb from limb before leaving and never seeing the rascal again. And as for how she would behave towards the slattern who was caught in a compromising position with her fiancé, well, Nellie would show no mercy towards such a woman.
But she could not imagine Lady Cecily doing such a thing. High emotion was something she would not expect from her. The way Lady Cecily had just stood at the doorway as if watching a slightly unexpected scene that she was too polite to interrupt suggested she was unlikely to vent her anger on either Dominic or Nellie. But who knew how people would react when in an emotional state?
Her behaviour tonight had proven that. She had come into the library to find a book to read and had ended up in Dominic Lockhart’s arms. She had most certainly acted against her better judgement because she was caught up in an emotional state, an emotional state she felt powerless to control.
She ran her finger gently along the spine of Dominic’s childhood book. It had been such a delight to handle a book that he had loved so much as a boy and to see the playful note he had written in the front. He had once been a naughty child who loved reading a book that featured a mischievous imp. But that wasn’t who he was now. He was a man with responsibilities, with sisters whose futures he needed to take care of.
Her hand dropped to her side. Once again, her impulsive behaviour had detrimentally affected Dominic’s life. Her reckless behaviour had resulted in him being beaten black and blue. Now her inability to control her desires had put him in a compromising position. While she couldn’t take full responsibility for what had happened between them, she had certainly been a willing participant.
She looked around the library and sighed. What was she to do now? Acting as if nothing had happened was certainly out of the question.
