“No need to apologize. I like to point, too,” Kelsey winks at Penny. “You,” she points at her as she squats, “must be Penny. I’ve heard a lot about you.”
Penny giggles and nods. “I am! Hi,” she says, shyly, looking up at her dad. “Sutton said you were coming on vacation.”
“I am. It was time I visited Everton.” Kelsey smiles at Penny.
I smile at Gavin, who winks at me while Penny asks Kelsey something about the plane ride. I want to stand in front of him and kiss him.
Tomorrow.
“I need to get her to bed. I’ll see you tomorrow,” Gavin says low enough, so Penny doesn’t hear and ask questions.
“Yeah,” I nod.
We say goodbye and wish Penny sweet dreams before continuing our walk.
“He is hot.” Kelsey fans herself.
I giggle and wave off her ridiculousness.
“And Penny is adorable. She looks like him. Did you see her pink cowboy boots? I want some.” I laugh at Kelsey’s comment as I guide us back to my car. She keeps talking about her quick observation of Gavin. He seems nice. He’s tall. He disciplines his daughter.
…
Gavin
“Daddy, is Sutton your girlfriend?” Penny’s question cuts through my mind.
I cough as I look at her through the rearview mirror on the way back home. “Why do you say that?” I haven’t spoken to her about Sutton and me dating yet, wanting to wait. I’ll admit part of me fears that once I tell Penny, things with Sutton will go downhill. Not the right way to think, but my mind immediately goes down that road.
“Because she came with us to have cupcakes on Saturday. We never have anyone go with us.”
I pull my truck over on the side of the road and move to the back seat. I turn on the light in the back of the cab and look at Penny.
Grabbing her hands, I smile. “Sutton and I have been spending time together,” I explain, taking a deep breath. “I guess she is my girlfriend.” Sutton and I have spoken about being exclusive.
“Aren’t you supposed to know, Daddy?” Penny giggles, and I sigh a breath of relief. If she’s laughing, she is taking this better than I thought.
“Are you okay with this? You’re always going to be the most important person in my life.” I squeeze her hands. “You’re my little girl.”
“I know.” Penny smiles and leans forward to hug me. “I like Sutton. She’s nice.”
“I do, too.” I lean back to assess Penny’s expression. My shoulders release the tension weighing me down as I see her looking pleased.
“We’ll still have time that’s just the two of us, and other times Sutton will be with us. If at any point you want to ask me a question or feel bad, talk to me.” She may be five, but she’s got wits.
“Okay.” She looks around the truck before turning her eyes on me again. “Are you gonna get married like the other moms and dads are?”
My eyebrows pull together. We’ve never talked about this before. “I don’t know yet. Sutton and I are still getting to know each other. It takes time for people to decide if they want to get married.”
“Were you married before? Jimmy said I’m a bastid.”
“A what?” I narrow my eyes until it dawns on me. “Bastard?” I ask, my veins pumping with anger.
“Yeah, that.”
“When did you talk to Jimmy?” He is an older boy, about eight or nine years old. Why the hell was my daughter talking to him about this, and no one was around to supervise?
“At school during recess. His class was in PE in the playground. What does that mean? Helen said it means that I don’t have parents, but I do.” Her lips press into a straight line, and her brows dip on her forehead.
I stare at her, feeling helpless. I knew at some point we’d have to have this conversation but not because some punk at school called her a fucking bastard. Tomorrow, I’m demanding to speak with the principal.
Today, I need to ease my daughter’s mind. I opt to explain the best I can without damaging her emotional health and pray for the best.
“You’re not a bastard,” I shake my head. “I’m your dad, and not everyone has the same type of family. You’re lucky to live with me, Grandma, and Grandpa. You’ve got a big family that loves you more than anything in this world.” I hold her to my chest, hugging her tightly as my chest constricts with pain.
“I love you, too.” Her voice sounds softer now.
If Jimmy weren’t a kid, I’d beat his ass until he couldn’t walk for telling my daughter she’s a bastard. This conversation took an unexpected turn, and I hope that Penny is okay with this explanation. I don’t need her feeling like she isn’t good enough to have her mom in her life. It’s not easy to explain what Hadley did, especially to a child. If I’m a grown-ass adult and still struggling with her leaving, I can’t imagine what it would do to Penny’s confidence.
“If Sutton and you get married, then I’ll have a mom.” Penny catches me off guard.
“Yeah, baby.” I hug her again and kiss the side of her head, running an arm up and down her back.
Sutton. Could Sutton fill those shoes? It’s a question I’ve been asking myself lately.
“Are you okay?” I stare into her eyes, the same color as mine.
“Yeah.” A small smile appears on her face.
“Let’s go home and get to sleep.” I kiss her forehead and buckle her back in before making my way back to the truck.
I dodged her questions as much as possible, but I know one day when she’s older, she’ll ask again. The last thing I want is for Penny to think she isn’t capable of being loved, or to have abandonment issues because of what she experienced as a baby. Anger towards Hadley’s selfishness builds.
