I just have to wait a little longer.
Elena
Watching him work shirtless in the garden, the sweat glistening against his muscles, is turning me on beyond belief. As he continues to tug weeds and his muscles ripple, I feel a wetness between my legs. What is this man doing to me?
I’ve never looked at a man and felt so many emotions before. Fear. Lust. Happiness. Longing. Anger. Not at him, of course, but with the scenario we’ve landed ourselves in. Last night, I wanted nothing more than for him to take me hard and make me his. But in the back of my mind, I felt too guilty to go through with it. I knew it would disappoint my father and that’s one thing I’ve never done before.
I’ve always been the perfect daughter. I never partied while my friends all went out drinking from a young age. I never disobeyed my parents or broke any rules, no matter how much the wild girl within me wanted to.
I always studied hard for school, and now I’m studying hard to be a pharmacist. But nothing is as important in comparison to how I feel for Landon. I would give it all up in a heartbeat for him. He’s all I’ve ever needed, even though I didn’t even know about him until yesterday. That just shows how strong our bond is. It was an instant spark. So why is everyone trying to make it go out?
I feel my heartstrings tugging. All I want is for someone to understand the way I’m feeling right now. My dad should know this feeling, he’s been with my mother for over twenty years. So why can’t he see love when it’s obviously right in front of him?
I hear a knock at my door and I jump down from my window sill. I don’t need my dad catching me staring at Landon. I cross my arms over my chest as he enters.
“What happened to needing to be at work early?” I say, raising my eyebrow. He sighs.
“Are you ever going to let that go? I’m sorry, but I just wasn’t comfortable over at their place.”
“Why?” I ask defiantly. He won’t say it out loud, I know, but I want to challenge him. I want him to know that I have no issue with the way Landon was looking at me over dinner. I want him to tell that even if I’m not as obvious about it, I feel the same way Landon does. But my father would just shrug it off if I said a thing, so I don’t bother.
“That’s none of your concern,” he says. “But I don’t want you speaking to them, okay? You can politely nod to them if you need to, but just stay out of their way.”
“Dad, I’m twenty-one. Don’t you think I’m old enough to make these kinds of decisions for myself? Don’t you think I can decide for myself if people are good or bad?”
He glares at me. “Apparently not. You’re clearly too immature to see that he’s nothing, but a pretty face with bad intentions. I’m not going to let you fawn over him just because he’s attractive. It’s your first crush. It’s not love.”
Damn. Maybe I haven’t been as subtle as I thought. I find myself ducking my head to hide my blush. I had no idea how easily my dad could read me, but I have to try and keep my cool.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about, Dad. I just think it’s nice to be civil to your neighbors.”
He takes a deep breath. “Look, darling, we don’t have to talk about it, okay? Just don’t let this go any further. You have more sense than that. You have your whole life ahead of you, don’t make decisions now that you can’t take back. Don’t let this distract you from your goals. Look at you! You’re not even dressed at noon, you should be studying by now. What’s happened to you?”
I want to scream at him. He fell in love at the same age as me. Why is he so desperate to stop me from finding the kind of relationship he has with my mom? And I’m done being the perfect daughter. Why do I always have to be the one to show up and exude nothing, but excellence? Why can’t I be the one to just fall in love for the first time and enjoy myself for once. Why is there so much pressure on me to be everything they want, except the love of someone’s life?
But I don’t say any of this aloud. My father is stubborn. He’ll never listen to what I have to say. And that’s the problem I’m facing here. I’m never going to get his approval. I’m never going to get his permission to be happy. So maybe this whole holding back thing is pointless. Why should I deprive myself of the best thing that’s ever happened to me? Why should I tell myself that I can’t have Landon when my dad is already saying the same thing? I’ll be miserable if I don’t go after what I want, and my father will be miserable either way. Shouldn’t I just put myself first for once?
My dad sighs and heads for my bedroom door. “I’ll leave you to it. Remember what I said, Elena. I’m not trying to make you unhappy. I’m saying all of this for your own good.”
The thing is, he truly believes that. He thinks he always knows what’s best for me. But I’m old enough now to make my own decisions. I’m old enough to know my own heart. If I get hurt, that’s my burden to bear. It has nothing to do with him. So right now, I need to stop being the perfect daughter. I need to make a decision about what I truly want.
And what I want is Landon.
I drift back to the window and find him looking up at me. His eyes
