"And why were they going to the bank for an investment?"
"They have this idea of starting a whiskey distillery. I don't know. My dad had this moonshine recipe that is famous around Riverside and they want to open up shop. I admit, I think it's a good idea. It's dangerous out on the crab boats."
I nod, slowly taking it in. "Shit, really? They want to open a distillery?" I say with a laugh.
"Why is that funny? I know you guys started off on a very wrong foot, but don't make fun of it. I know it's a long shot, but…"
"Hell no, I wasn't making fun of it, Marley, I think it's a fucking good idea. I was literally just talking to the guys yesterday afternoon about wanting to invest in a distillery. I even mentioned it to my brother a few weeks ago. I have the capital. I could help."
Marley stops in her tracks and turns to me. "Maker, I care about you, I do, but I can't have you making promises you won't keep. That’s too generous.”
"Why don't you think I'll keep them?"
"I don't know. It's just this is all so new… you and me."
"Look, I want to be with you if that's what you're trying to find out. I fucking love you, Marley, can't you see that?"
She bites her bottom lip, looks down at the ground, her voice cracking when she speaks. "I want to believe you, Maker, but my brothers, they hate you."
"But this will fix that. I'll invest in their business, which I’d want to do anyways — even if they weren't your brothers — and then I'll have an in with them. They can't hate me if I give them a million bucks."
Marley doesn't smile in agreement though. Instead, she just shakes her head, stepping back. "No, they're still going to hate you."
"Why?” I ask. "Fuck, I know I've made a mess in my life, but I'm trying to make things right, Marley. Are we back here again? Rehashing the same thing? How many times do we have to go around in circles?"
"It's not that. They beat you up for sleeping with me. What do you think they're going to do when they find out you knocked me up? When they find out I'm pregnant, they're going to freak out."
"Wait, what?" I ask, stunned into silence.
Marley covers her mouth, shaking her head. "Oh God, I wasn't going to say it like that."
"You're pregnant?" I ask, my head dizzy. The words so unexpected.
"Yes, I'm pregnant," she says. “Three months along and…"
"Shit, you didn't tell me sooner? How could you do that to me? We were together all night last night, you could've let me know."
"I had my reasons," she says. "God, Maker, don't make me feel worse than I already do."
"And why do you feel bad right now?" I ask her. "You're the one holding all the cards."
She exhales slowly. “We don’t have to be together just because I'm having your baby."
I look at her with shock, my heart fucking breaking in two. "I told you I loved you, what more do you need? How can I ever prove myself to you when you're so damn set on making me feel like shit for what I've done?" I step toward her. "Fuck, Marley, let's not make this about my past right now — let's make this about our future."
But she shakes her head. "I need some time to think,” she says, stepping back. "I'm going to go talk to my friends and I'd really like to be left alone, okay?"
“No, let me fight for you, Marley. Let me be here for you, for our baby.”
“This was a mistake,” she says. “I can’t do this.”
“Do what?”
“Us. Me and you… I’m…”
“Scared? You’ve never been in love, and hell, I understand that, Marley, because neither have I. But I love you.”
“Then let me go,” she says softly, turning from me.
My jaw tightens and I want to pull her to me, shake some sense into her, let her see that I'm not full of shit, that when I say I'll be there for her, I mean it. How many ways do I have to prove myself?
But then it hits me. The hard reality is I haven't proved myself at all.
I slept with her and I never came back. She has no reason to believe I've been thinking about her for ten weeks straight. She has no reason to believe I'm going to step up to the plate. All she knows is that I've been a criminal and I took her virginity. She doesn't know anything about the promises I plan to keep.
Fuck, I think as she runs up the hill toward the tree house.
I look out to the water, the deep blue sea, feeling lost without an anchor, no compass to my name.
I want to love her the way she deserves but maybe she deserves a love that's bigger than me.
Marley
When I walk away from Maker, I feel so confused, instantly wishing it had all gone differently.
Wishing that ten weeks ago, after our night together, I’d done more so that my brothers wouldn't have intervened. I should have been more clear with Maker and let him know that when it comes to the River Boys, there’s a lot he's up against. Wishing I'd make it more clear that even though I'm scared about having this baby, I want it.
Wishing I hadn’t just ended things with Maker.
I try to explain all of this to Bellamy and Wavy and Jemma. I find them in the tree house, making breakfast for the guys. Thankfully, they're all outside chopping wood or something, and we have the tree house to ourselves. Wavy's babies are with us, looking adorable in their play pen, and their auntie Jemma keeps rubbing their bellies and making them giggle.
When I tell them I'm pregnant, they look at me, stunned.
"With
