“I’dlike to. At least the average, which is one-point-eight-four, I think. Thatsecond kid might look a little weird, though,” she laughed. “What about you?”
“Whatabout me?”
“Everbeen married or been close? Or had kids?”
Hecleared his throat and sat up straight. “No marriages, no kids. I was engagedto someone once. Sort of.”
“How isone ‘sort of’ engaged?”
“Whenone’s sometimes-girlfriend’s publicist cooks up a scheme to advance herclient’s fledgling acting career by getting her in the tabloids. I’m not sure Iwas even in the same country, let alone the same room, when I’m supposed tohave proposed.”
“So youdidn’t want to marry her?”
“Hellno!” He faked a cough. “Uh, turns out we didn’t have much in common except whatshe could get out of me to further her objectives. I got tired of sucking up tothe phonies she ran with.”
What afucking idiot he’d been to get tangled up with anexotic-dancer-actress-wannabe. One more bad move added to his ash heap ofdrug-and-alcohol-fueled dumbass choices. Like his other addictions, it was funwhen he was high but hell to pay when he came down. Once the sex was strippedaway, what remained was a never-ending melodrama with a fucking lunatic whohated most everything he liked.
“Didyou break it off, or did she?”
“Accordingto the tabloids, she did.”
“Wrongplace, doing the wrong thing with the wrong woman?”
Beckettbit back his irritation. “Don’t believe everything you read on the Internet.”
“Whatlittle I’ve read is pretty eye-popping. Have you ever had a normalrelationship?”
“Definenormal.”
“Youknow, getting to know each other, becoming friends, holding hands. Not sleepingwith people at first sight.” Her eyes widened, and she clapped a hand over hermouth.
“Ouch.”
Andieoffered an apologetic grimace. “I’m sorry. That was totally inappropriate.”
“Youwere being honest.”
Shestraightened her shoulders. “So no serious relationships, then? Ever?”
“Nope.”
She satback and placed her hands on the table, her expression bemused. “Why not?”
“I’mnot wired for it.” He gave her a wary look, bracing himself for the typicaljudgmental scowl while a waiter poured the last of the wine.
The scowlnever appeared. Instead, when the guy was out of earshot, she said, “Do youwant kids someday?”
Heshrugged. “I like kids, but I’m not interested in being a single dad.”
Andiecocked her head, a question mark between her brows.
“I’dneed to settle on one person,” he explained. “I’ve never found one to settleon.” Not that I’ve been looking.
“Ah.And ‘faithful’ isn’t in your vocabulary?”
Becketttilted his head up at the same twinkly light, then shot his gaze straight backto hers. “Maybe ‘trust’ isn’t in my vocabulary. How do I know someone’s with mefor me and not just so they can use me to get what they want? How do Iknow a woman’s not just looking for a baby daddy or for someone to take care ofthe kids she’s had with someone else? Although, as a rule, I don’t date womenwith children.”
“Whynot?”
“Kidscomplicate things.” And there are so many willing ladies withoutchildren.
Shegave him an appraising look that unsettled him. A need to defend himself tookhold. “It has nothing to do with fidelity. It’s not because I cheat.”
“Areyou talking about cards or hockey?” She smirked.
“Funnygirl. Neither, though I don’t cheat there either. Much.” He paused and shookhis head. “When Yamila and I split after a few months, I figured I was a freeagent. But that same publicist arranged a little drama, and Yamila, actressthat she is, played it up big. She got fifteen minutes of fame and a fewauditions out of the ‘scandal.’ For her part, I was a means to an end. Alwayswas.
“Thenthere’s my ex-restaurant manager, Jackie. We dated, then I broke it off. I feltbad about it, so when I needed a manager and she needed a job, I hired her. Andshe showed her thanks by lying to my face, screwing my employees, draining mybank account, and gifting me that IRS lien.”
Hisheart rate climbed. “Is that a woman scorned kind of thing, or is she justplain evil? The cops think it’s hilarious, and they’re doing squat to catchher. And another thing I’ve learned is, believe it or not, women use men forarm candy—it goes both ways. You don’t read that on the Internet. I’m nosaint, but I’m not as bad as they make me out either.”
Andienodded, her eyes locked on him.
Beckettgulped in air. “You want a coffee?”
“Decafcap.”
Hisblood fizzing, he finished his wine and called the waiter over. “Unleadedcappuccino for the lady, please. Regular for me.” The waiter dipped his headand trotted away.
“Outsideof the trust thing, I’ve never been inspired to commit long-term, so I’veconcluded I’m just not cut out for it.” He inhaled deeply, trying to even hisbreathing. “Did I answer your questions?”
“Youdid, yes,” she said softly. “I’m sorry. I guess I never realized the size ofthe bull’s-eye on your back. It has to be so hard.”
Hestared at her.
“Maybeyou’re meeting the wrong people,” she offered.
Herwords were kind, and they caressed him, soothed him. His shoulders eased.
Herested his chin in his palm, taking in her shimmering green eyes and lips thattwitched on one side, hinting at her dimple.
“Maybe,”he conceded.
Theircoffees arrived, and she swept her spoon into the foam and brought it to herlips. As she was licking it clean, an “a-weema-weh” sounded from under thetable. She pulled out her phone, swiped at it, and dropped it back in herpurse.
“I lovethat song. Old stuff is the best.” He hummed the tune. “So what kind of musicdo you like?”
With atinkling laugh, she said, “Old stuff, obviously. As for the rest, what don’tI like?”
.~ * * * ~.
Much later and much more restless, Beckett wished he’d optedfor a decaf too. He and Andie had talked for hours and could have talkedlonger. Time had slipped away, and Marco had finally stood at their tabletapping his watch. Past midnight, and they had been the only ones left. Becketthadn’t wanted it to end, but she declined a nightcap. After making sure she wassafely in her car and able to drive from the park ’n’ ride where she’d insistedthey meet, he headed to a retro club downtown. Deflecting a barrage ofconfusing emotions, taut as a steel coil hauling up a fishing net, he didn’tknow what else to do with himself, so he sought escape in the familiar.
Thebouncer recognized
