A constant tug-of-war seesawed inside him, and while he knewbeing around Natalie was a spectacularly bad idea, he seemed unable tocontrol himself. Not unlike the lack of restraint he’d once displayed with hisspiky temper. For the moment, the anger was peacefully slumbering in a quiet,foggy place in his psyche. So there was that.
But he couldn’t keep deceiving her. It tore him up inside.The more he was with her, the more tenaciously he clung to the fragile, hopefulthread tying him to her. Each day, he grew more anxious about what life lookedlike once that string was snipped. Friends weren’t exactly in his corner.
“So, thoughts?” Paige asked as he surveyed the interior ofthe last house on their showing list.
“I like that it’s new, but the outside looks like acollection of boxes, and I’d need a microscope to find the yard.”
“So I take it this one’s out. Do you have a number one?”
“Yeah, the one you remodeled. I like the exposed brick, it’s next to a park, and the yard’s perfect for Ford.Maybe I should have Natalie take a look.”
Paige’s eyebrows inched up her forehead. “So you two are …”
He grinned at her. “What? She doesn’t talk about me atwork?” He reminded himself of a thirteen-year-old girl.
Paige crossed her arms on top of her barely there baby bulge and frowned. Uh-oh. “When are yougoing to tell her?”
His hand shot to the back of his neck. Shit, he had to stopdoing that. “Haven’t found the right time.”
“Seriously? How is that even possible? You see her, what,every day?”
He deflected. “So she does talk about me at work?”
Paige gave him a disgusted little snort.
“The thing is,” he said, “as soon as I tell her, she’ll kickmy ass to the curb.”
“As she should. And the longer you wait, the harder that kick’ll be. If you want a shot at staying in her life, youneed to tell her. Pronto.”
“Wow. Do you ever hold back?” But she’s right.
“My bluntness has nothing to do with your approachingdisaster. Buster, you are skating on ice so thin you can see fish swimmingbelow the surface. I know it’s none of my business—”
A cheerless smirk. “But you’remaking it your business?”
This garnered an exasperated eye-roll. “Look, you’re Beck’sgood friend, my friend and client, and she works for me. Thingscould get real messy real fast. I don’t want to dance on eggshells around you,and I don’t want either of you getting hurt.” Her expression shifted toconcern, tugging at his chest.
“You’re sweet to worry, but it’ll be fine.” If only hebelieved it. He felt as though he’d swallowed a brick, and it was lining thebottom of his stomach.
.~* * * ~.
Hours later, he was leaning againstNatalie’s counter, one ankle crossed over the other, watching her chopvegetables while he told her about Paige’s house. He loved watching Natalie. Heimagined her in his new kitchen as she was now,her shimmering chestnut hair skimming her shoulders, floating around her asthough made of silk. Intelligent, golden-brown eyes caught the light,reflecting it like the sun on the river. Her body—supple, graceful, fluid—movedwith mesmerizing ease. He could watch her all day, all night, and never growtired of it—or get enough of it.
Running his eyes over her—for the hundredth time thathour—he pictured exploring the smooth terrain of her body, the dips, thevalleys, the curves beckoning from under her tight jeans and her clingy whiteblouse. She was fully clothed, but she was that much sexier somehow. He felthimself tighten.
Stop it.
He dropped his head and rubbed his neck, trying to think ofunpleasant things—the stink of a locker room, bloody teeth on the ice, the painof a stitched lip—so his cock would calm the hell down and he could move.Didn’t help.
Then he thought of telling her.
That did it.
Game over.
Pulling in a breath, he let it back out in a quiet sigh.God, he didn’t want to lose this. Lose her. Even if he didn’t really have her,he had a piece of her. That piece had stealthily transformed into somethingmore precious than anything he’d ever known, and he hadn’t seen it coming.
Focused on how to tell her, where to start, he watched herlips move, barely registering what she was saying. He nodded vaguely, and shekept talking about the stew she was making to take to her mom’s.
How would she react when he told her? Different scenariosplaying through his mind, he cringed. None of them had him coming out intact inany way, shape, or form.
Abruptly, she stopped what she was doing and studied him,though he couldn’t tell what thoughts played through her mind. He wanteddesperately to understand her, to know her well enough that he could recognizea look, a twitch of her soft mouth, a graceful quirk of her brow, the way hereyes lit up or dimmed. Regret filled him—he’d never get that chance.
“You okay over there?”
He startled back to the present and plastered on a grin.“Me? Yeah. Absolutely.”
She took a step toward him, enveloping him in a dizzyingcloud of wildflowers, baking cookies, and fresh sheets—the best of everythinghe loved. Intoxicating. As his thoughts began melting into mush, he shoved hisresolve to a far corner of his mind and let full-throttle desire rise up in itsplace.
With a soft hip check, she nudged him out of her way.“Someone needs his Jameson, I think.” Pulling a bottle from the cabinet besidehim, she placed it on the counter with a pirate smile that about caved hisknees. “You know where the glasses are.”
God, he wanted to kiss her. Just once. Just a taste beforehe told her everything and she never spoke to him again.
Ford, who’d been curled up on Natalie’s doormat, suddenlypopped up on all fours and loped over, rubbing against Natalie’s legs. Shedropped to a knee and grasped his head in her hands. “Such a handsome baby.”
This. A slice of heaven T.J. suddenly craved.
Ford’s tail wagged so hard his back end swung from side to side.It was
