He passed his hand in front of her face, snapping her to attention. He was giving her his blinding, high-wattage smile—the one she wished she could capture and bottle. “Where’d you go, Goldilocks?”
Crap! He’d busted her.
“I was just … thinking about the loads of laundry I still have to do,” she stammered. Thank God he had no clue she’d been caught up in lusty daydreams about him.
“Ah,” he grinned. “No shortage of exciting thoughts in that busy brain of yours.”
She barked out a completely over-the-top laugh, which did nothing to blow off her rising nervousness.
Every minute spent with him shifted her image of Gage Nelson, even as it nudged her into a world of mixed-up emotions that confounded her. She felt as though she chased fireflies circling just above her head. Dazzling, alluring. If only she could snatch them, but the farther she stretched, the more elusive they became. One wrong move, an overreach, and she would stumble and face-plant.
Chapter 14
Careless Whispers
Days later, Lily sat in her counseling session, her gaze roving around the room to the inky world beyond the window panes. The group’s attention was currently commandeered by Eva, but Lily’s focus was like that kid walking with one sneakered foot on the sidewalk and the other barefoot in the grass. Partly on its proper concrete course, and partly sinking into cool lushness.
Her thoughts meandered to the Sapphire Club next door and how her plodding course had quickened and changed since Gage strode back into her life—like a stagnant stream that transforms into boiling rapids.
His world seemed to be steadily, effortlessly entwining with Daisy’s and hers. He was crispness and color, and his presence lifted the veil that had cast Lily in shades of blue-grays. She found herself wanting to breathe in more and more of him.
Eva’s hiss jarred her back to the present. “He asked me out!”
“Your dentist asked you out?” one of the others said, and Lily exhaled a little sigh of relief. At least she wouldn’t have to guess who he was. Admonishing herself, she made an inner promise to tune in to the conversation and stay engaged.
Eva nodded, looking utterly appalled. “Yes! Can you believe it?”
“Eva,” Lily began, “you’re a lovely woman, and he obviously finds you attractive. Take it for the compliment it is. It doesn’t mean you have to accept his invitation. I understand it’s a bit awkward because of his professional—”
“It’s not that, Lily.” Eva shook her head. “I don’t mind that part. What I mind is the audacity of the man. He’s only been widowed a few years! Has he gotten over his wife so quickly? What does that say about him? Why would I want to get involved with someone who gets over someone else so quickly?”
Expectant eyes fastened on Lily, and she straightened, her back as rigid as her seat. She squelched an eye-roll. “Everyone, let’s talk about the grieving process again. As we’ve discussed, there isn’t a set timetable. Some of us move on quickly, while some of us never move on. It doesn’t mean we didn’t love just as much as the next person. Think of those who have lost their husband or wife who never marry again because they were in an abusive relationship and don’t want a repeat. If you judged based on the length of time they remained single, you’d say that person loved their spouse more, which just isn’t true. On the other hand, you might see someone who marries within six months. Maybe that person had such a wonderful marriage that they want to do it again. So you see, everyone has a journey unique to them, and we shouldn’t judge based on how long the grieving process takes within us. Does that make sense?”
The thought niggled that Lily was a harsh judge of her own grieving process, that she should listen to her own counsel, but she quickly dismissed it, instead watching the bobbing heads surrounding her.
“It’s not at all unusual for a widower to seek companionship at this stage,” she continued. “On average, they remarry sooner than widows.”
“Well,” Eva huffed, “I still can’t see myself becoming romantically involved so soon.”
“Which is perfectly fine,” Lily said, “because you’re on the timetable that works for you, Eva.”
Though Lily’s lips were tipped in a smile, she let shame claw its way up from her gut. Eva had been widowed longer than she, yet Lily had let herself fall into bed with a hot hockey player mere hours after meeting him! And here she was, getting all warm and fuzzy about enmeshing her life with his, and all the while her undeniable physical attraction to him was mounting.
“I hope you let him down easy, Eva,” Brett laughed. “If you reacted to him the way you’re reacting with us, you probably just shattered a fragile ego. It’ll take him another few years to ask out someone else.”
Eva struck a prim pose. “I was extremely polite.”
The mood lightened, allowing Lily to shove down her self-flagellation while recovering herself. As the discussion came to a close, a last thought flared before she doused it: Was it so wrong for her mind to sometimes take a flight back to how good it had felt lying in Gage’s arms? To feel the solid strength of a man’s embrace?
Though it wasn’t late, Eva waited while she locked up. Since Gage’s appearance in the parking lot, Brett no longer tried to corner Lily, for which she was grateful. She was pretty sure he’d been shocked and intimidated by Gage’s presence. And if he believed Gage was a love interest, she wasn’t about to set him straight—the illusion kept things simpler.
“I really admire you, Lily,” Eva said as they walked to their cars.
Lily didn’t hide her delight. “Thank you, Eva. That means a lot. I hope these sessions are helping.”
“They are, but that’s not what I meant.”
Lily paused and frowned. Eva dropped her voice, as if an unwelcome audience listened in. “What I
