Did she hear nothing I said?
Eva gave her a quick hug. “The world needs more loyal people like us, Lily.”
Is waiting four years rushing it?
Lily climbed into her car in a muddled daze, trying to muster Jack’s face as she drove. Without looking at a picture, his image in her mind’s eye grew blurrier every day. As she’d done with Derek the week before, she concentrated hard to recall the exact shade of Jack’s eyes. Two mismatched blue orbs popped into her head instead, and her guilt consumed her once more.
What was wrong with her?
When she got home, she marched straight to the rogues’ gallery in the hallway and stared at the pictures hanging there. In some, Jack’s eyes looked blue. In others, gray. In a few, they even appeared hazel. She grew frustrated trying to remember their color and flipped off the light.
She turned on an eighties station, poured herself a healthy glass of wine, and settled into her couch. Despite the music playing in the background, the house enveloped Lily in suffocating silence. Daisy was at Derek’s tonight, and every wailing creak and lonely cry echoed around her.
God, she needed a distraction, or she’d spend another sleepless night thrashing in bed, trying to sharpen her dimming memories of Jack, keeping them alive for Daisy as much as herself—except Daisy hadn’t asked about him in ages. What had he smelled like? She shuffled to her closet and stuck her nose in one of his shirts. The scent was faint, elusive. She slid it from the hanger, shrugged it on, and wrapped it around herself, inhaling the collar. She’d lost the smell.
Gage’s fresh, masculine scent drifted in her mind, firing an inappropriate tickle inside her. She pressed her fists into her belly.
How had her body fit Jack’s? What had it felt like to wind her arms around him? Splintered memories, like tattered dreams, streaked through her mind. She couldn’t recall, but she knew exactly where her head nestled on Gage’s warm chest.
“This is ridiculous!” She stomped to the kitchen and filled her wineglass. “I’ll call Ivy.” But Ivy was at work and wouldn’t be able to talk Lily off of her present path. It was too late for Lily to call their parents, and she’d just traded news with them the day before anyway.
Loneliness was getting the best of her, and her mind leapt to calling Gage. But no, that might be weird. Plus, he was playing out of town.
Call Derek? Besides the girls, what would they talk about?
She palmed her forehead. God, she was pathetic.
Fisting the stem of her wineglass, she pulled in a few cleansing breaths. A familiar, haunting tune started up. George Michael’s “Careless Whisper” seemed to climb in volume and surround her. As soon as his voice reached the part about guilty feet, tears welled, coming hot and fast, overwhelming the hollow space inside her. She folded over. Sobs racked her body as anguish swamped her.
When would it ever stop?
Time passed—she had no idea how long—and her phone chirped. Brushing the wetness from her chin and cheeks, she glanced at it, and a warm flood of relief washed through her when she realized it was from Gage.
About to take off and just wanted to see how your group went tonight.
A laugh escaped through her tears. Suddenly, she didn’t feel so alone.
Gage took a seat beside T.J. on the team plane, feeling as haggard as T.J. looked, before thumbing Lily a quick text.
He pointed at T.J.’s smartphone screen. “More Roman history?”
T.J. grunted in response.
“I know just how you feel,” Gage replied.
“Jesus, it’s been a long trip. I can’t wait to get home and sleep in my own bed tonight … with my own wife.”
Gage arched an eyebrow. “As opposed to someone else’s wife?”
“Shut up, Nelson. You know what I mean.”
From behind them, Hunter groused, “Losing tonight’s game was not the ending I’d been hoping for. Shit, all we do is trade the number one spot with Arizona. We can’t seem to hold on to it for more than a few hours.”
One row ahead sat Grims. The Grim Reaper twisted in his seat and gave them all the stink-eye. “It’s one game, boys. One game. Let it go.”
“It’s a tight race,” Gage nodded, “but look at it this way: Arizona’s pushing us, reminding us we need to bring our A-game. Every. Single. Night.”
“You saying I don’t bring my best game every night, Nelson?” Hunter challenged.
Grims’s hand had been resting on the back of the seat, and he flicked it at Gage while he fixed his gaze on Hunter. “Listen to the man, moron. That’s not what he said.”
“I did listen, asshole! And that’s what’s pissing me off!”
Grims unbuckled and rose quickly. So did Hunter.
T.J. and Gage both moved, standing at the same time. T.J.’s hand splayed across Hunter’s chest in the blink of an eye while Gage’s shot to Grims’s arm.
T.J. stared daggers at Hunter. “What the fuck’s wrong with you? You don’t talk to your captain that way. Now sit the fuck down.”
Other than the humming engines, the interior of the plane had gone dead quiet. No one moved.
“Not much of a captain,” Hunter grumbled.
Gage turned his body, blocking Grims behind him, as T.J. shoved Hunter backward into his seat. “What did you say?”
Hunter muttered, “Nothing.”
“Keep it that way,” T.J. snapped.
Grims had been pressing into Gage and now snarled, “Next time, McMurphy, keep your fucking mouth shut so everyone won’t know what a dumb fuck you really are.”
Gage swiveled his head to Grims. His eyes were wild. Gage had never seen him like that, and for a split second he wondered if he’d need to defend himself against his captain. He lowered
