He felt as if he rode on a runaway roller coaster ride. “What you’re really saying is you refuse to accept my explanation. If you don’t believe me, just ask anyone who was there. Hell, ask Wyatt. He ended up with Kendra that night.” He pulled in a breath. “But I want to circle back to something you said. How do you define us?”
It took her a beat to answer. “We’re friends.”
“And?”
“And what?”
Fuck no! “That’s it? Just friends?” His rising anger heated his cheeks, colliding with hurt and disappointment. “That’s what you think this is? Friends? With benefits? How does Daisy fit in?”
“She doesn’t. You’re her coach. Were her coach. Beyond that, you’re a nice guy she likes.”
“Loves,” he snapped.
“And that’s why whatever’s between us won’t go further.”
What. The. Actual. Hell? He was getting whiplash, growing more confused by the minute. “What does that mean?”
Her blue eyes flared. “It means I can’t get close to anyone and risk hurting her. Look at the mistake I’ve already made by spending time with you. If I get in deep and get my heart broken, that’s one thing. I won’t have her getting attached and getting hers broken too.”
Another punch to the gut. “Well, fuck. That’s just great. Now I’m a mistake, and you’re assuming I’m going to break not only your heart but hers too. Based on what exactly?”
Her answer was to bite her thumbnail.
He could feel his connection to her slipping away, and it made his chest ache. “Lily, I want you. I want Daisy. Can’t you see that?”
Still no answer.
His head reeled. “So what’s your plan? You’re gonna fuck random men for the next fifteen years and maybe start a real relationship after she’s left home?”
“I’m not going to fuck random men.” She leaned toward him, on the attack, her expression matching her tone—dark and tight. “Nor am I going to expose my daughter to people like your mother, if I can help it. I don’t need to bring more drama into Daisy’s life. I will do whatever I have to, to protect my daughter.”
“What if someone else is interested in protecting her too? You’re just going to go it alone?”
“She has Derek.”
Slap! “Right. How stupid of me to forget my place. I’m just the guy you fuck when the mood strikes. Only Everett men are worthy of more.”
Her scowl deepened. “Derek is part of Jack, and he always will be, whether you like it or not.”
“Because you’ll never let Jack go.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
He scanned the room a moment, not seeing any details, while he marshaled his thoughts and kept himself in check. His gaze returned to hers. She stood with her arms locked over her chest like an armored breastplate.
“It means, Lily, you’re not fooling anyone except yourself. Up here,” he tapped his temple, “you’re still married, even though it’s to a ghost. It also means I’m tired of being nothing more to you than your stable stud. You’ve confused a fantasy with real life. I’m not your 2:00 a.m. booty call. I’m not your fuckboy. There are plenty of guys out there who’ll jump at the chance, but I won’t be confused with them anymore.”
Her chin lifted in defiance. “That’s not fair.”
“No? Last summer, you used me. Was that fair?”
“You didn’t complain.”
“At the time, I didn’t. But I didn’t expect to wake up and find myself alone, and I didn’t expect to spend the next six months wondering where the hell you’d gone. That’s jacked up, Lily.”
None of this makes sense anymore.
He let out a mirthless laugh. “Shit, you’re still using me, and I’m the dumbass letting it happen. I fooled myself into believing that maybe, just maybe, you’d fallen for me as hard as I fell for you. That what we had was more than an extended one-night stand.” He paused to exhale. “Go pick on someone else. Leave me the hell out of it.” The instant the statement left his mouth, he knew he didn’t mean it—which hurt even more.
Shaking his head, he placed his hands on his hips. Anger and hurt and longing whirlpooled inside him like a sinking ship, but he kept his voice calm. “For months now, I’ve been competing with a ghost. But I never stood a chance and was too blind to see it.” He stabbed a finger at her hallway. “You live in a shrine, Lily. Every day you come home and worship a man who’s dead. When are you going to move on and live?”
Though her eyes pooled and her lips quivered, her face was locked in a fierce glare. He spun and walked out the door, wrenching it closed behind him without a backward glance.
And this, ladies and gentlemen, is why Gage Nelson doesn’t date.
Lily Everett had been after one thing from him, and he’d been idiotic enough to give it to her—along with his heart—without demanding more in return.
Anger and hurt razored into him as he drove back home. When he dropped into bed, he was surprised his heart was still beating. Because damn! It was in shreds.
Chapter 34
Big Sister Knows Best
Lily stomped into the kitchen.
Who the hell does he think he is?
Yanked out the cleaning supplies.
Jerk!
Attacked the sink.
Asshole!
She threw the sponge down and looked around her spotless kitchen. She’d get no satisfaction from cleaning because it already sparkled. Damn it!
Next she picked up her phone and texted Ivy. You awake?
Ivy: No. Go away.
Lily: I need to talk.
Lily’s phone lit up. “You’d better just have lost a limb.” Ivy yawned.
“You weren’t sleeping,” Lily scoffed.
“I could have been if I hadn’t downed an espresso an hour ago. What’s going on?”
“Argh! Gage! If I kill him, will you visit me in prison?”
“No. I don’t hang with convicts. What did that awful, horrible man do?”
Lily dismissed the sarcasm. “He had the balls to say I’m still in love with Jack. Then he got all bent out of shape, accusing me of using him for sex.”
Silence on the other end confounded
