Has he forgotten what happened yesterday?
How he barely waited for his sperm to have come out of his dick before he went and showered off what had transpired?
“Maybe,” I shrug because the teenager in me wants to date the most handsome boy from the school, ”but can we first discuss what happened yesterday?”
His eyebrows squish together while he blinks rapidly. Yeah, buddy, not letting you off the hook so quickly.
“What happened yesterday?” he asks. “Well, you should know.”
I frown.
Should I?
I have an idea why he ran away, but as my mind races to come for proper answers, it comes back blank. Maybe he needs a reminder.
“We had sex. You came on my chest. You gave me a towel to clean up without saying a word, and then you left and took a shower. Your silence said more than a thousand words.”
Oliver shakes his head and laughs a little, and all I felt before, the butterflies, the stupid crush, the warm and fuzzy feelings toward him transform into anger. I fist my hands on my thighs and count to ten not to let my impulsivity hijack the conversation we’re having.
“Hmmm, it seems we crossed our signals.” He says, and my heartbeat goes down a little. “When I looked at you after we… you know… you seemed so lost. Guilt was written all over your face, and I thought you needed space. I didn’t speak so my voice would not remind you that you weren’t with the one you wanted. I didn’t want to make it worse.”
Puzzled, I calm down. I have never heard of a guy knowing so little about women. I would make fun of him if it wasn’t so heartbreaking.
“So, because I looked lost and confused, you thought the best thing to do was to walk away and leave me alone in your bed? Taking me into your arms and comforting me wasn’t an option?”
Bewildered… that’s how he looks right now.
“Okay, said like that…” He takes my hand and looks deep into my eyes. My body temperature goes up a couple of hundred degrees, and my vision becomes tunneled on Oliver. Nothing more exists except him. “No bullshit, right?”
I nod. “No bullshit,” I repeat. He interweaves our fingers and rubs his thumbs against my knuckles. Something he does a lot, and something I like more than I should. It electrifies and melts me at the same time. I become a puddle of desire.
“There was nothing more I wanted than to take you in my arms, have your head on my chest, kiss you softly, and show you how much what had happened was important to me. I’ve slept with a few women since Elaine died—my sister would tell you I have manwhore tendencies—but with you, time always stands still. Yesterday, while in between your legs, my heart stopped bleeding, and I’ve found an inner peace I never thought possible to reach ever again. I realized that your kisses are the best therapy for me.”
Arrow to the heart, hook into my soul, Oliver reels me into his realm, and I can’t fight the pull anymore. Thunderstruck, I mutter the only words that I can think of after such a declaration.
“Yes.”
“For?” His eyes are darker, and I want to disappear in them.
“Dating, kissing, fucking, anything,” I answer, my cheeks burning like pavement in the desert. “I want to do anything and everything with you. Maybe I shouldn’t. Maybe it is the biggest mistake of my life, but with you, I want to live.” Oliver smiles, and I fall deeper under his charm.
“With you, I want to live too. What happened to you yesterday?” Worries chase the desire I saw seconds ago, and I don’t answer it with the usual annoyance I feel when other people worry for me.
“Your silence told me you just wanted a good fuck and didn’t care about the consequences. I remember you had a son from a one-night stand. I remembered the mask you wore the first time I met you. I remembered you saying you didn’t want to fuck me—”
“I never said I didn’t want to. I said I wouldn’t because I didn’t want to hurt you, hurt us.”
“True, but my demons were out, and I spiraled down, and I ended up in therapy this morning.”
“Side note, I want the whole story on that. I want to know what happened.”
“I will… You might be the only one that can understand me anyway.” He smiles and slides his chair closer to me.
“I want to be there for you. I want you to never hesitate and call me whenever you need it. I want to be the one who can understand you, and everything you share with me is really important to me. Also, I want to fuck you some more… soon.” Oliver ends his speech with a kiss, and as soon as his lips touch mine, I liquefy. It’s the courage I need to tell him what I need to, to go through Dr. Saman’s exercise, and tell the story of how King died. So after taking all the bravery, I can find in the twirl of his tongue, I dive in and tell him how King died. And it’s a little easier than the first time, I don’t know if it’s because the exercise is working or because I’m telling Oliver.
“Thank you for telling me,” Oliver says once I’m done. And to my surprise, my eyes aren’t the ones full of mist.
“Are you okay?” I take his hand and rub his knuckles
