“Yeah, maybe. But he knew I was valedictorian,” I slur, trying to recall his face from somewhere I would know him from, but he didn’t exactly look like we would have the same acquaintances. I hate to judge a man by his appearance, but the hard and belittling man I just encountered was the epitome of rough around the edges. “Ally,” I say as I turn to her and grip both of her shoulders, holding myself up. “I don’t feel good. I’m reeeeeeeally drunk.”
“I can see that, Princess,” she teases.
“Don’t fucking call me that,” I spit as she grabs me around the waist and walks me to the nearest restroom, our feet dragging underneath us. Collin is somewhere with his buddies in this honky tonk, but I can’t even begin to worry about that right now. We were headed in the direction of the restrooms anyway before I collided with the next star of the latest Magic Mike movie.
“Oh! I love when you cuss. That’s how I know you’re three sheets to the wind.”
“How am I supposed to have a one-night stand and ask a guy to do dirty things to me when I can’t even see straight?” I ask as we collide with another group of girls, waiting in line to pee. Good thing my bladder is numb from all of the alcohol so the urge to relieve myself doesn’t sting as bad.
“Yeah, I don’t think that’s going to happen tonight,” Ally says, soothing her fingers down my face and wiping under my eyes. I’m sure I’m just the definition of the hot-mess-express right now, but I’m too drunk to care. This was the goal of the evening—throw caution to the wind and have fun—and I think we accomplished that until I killed my buzz slightly by running into Mr. Coke Pants, a nickname only I can give him since it was my fault his pants got wet in the first place.
“But how am I gonna practice talking dirty? How am I gonna tell a guy what I want him to do to me?” I whine as a bonified cowboy comes walking past us, looking back as he overhears me. His steps falter as his lips curl up while his eyes move up and down my body.
“You can practice on me, sugar,” he says in that southern drawl that should come with a warning label. But right now, all it’s doing for me is putting me to sleep.
“Get outta here!” Ally swats him away as she holds me up. “You’ll get another chance, Sydney. Your time isn’t running out.”
“But yes it is, Al. My dad is trying to force Andrew on me and the more romance novels I read, the more I feel I’m destined to end up alone. Why can’t fictional men be real?” I think I’m crying, but my cheeks are so numb, it’s hard to tell if tears are sliding down them.
“Shit. You’re breaking down on me, Sydney. It’s gonna be okay, babe,” Ally soothes as she pulls me in for a hug, and the next thing I know, everything goes black.
***
The sound of a leaf blower outside wakes me up, my eyes peeling apart from the mascara that clumped together when my face plopped into the pillow. As I blink a few times and take in my surroundings, I realize I’m on a bed that is not my own. Lavender walls and white bedding throw me off balance, my mind reeling as I wonder how the hell I got where I am until a tiny voice alerts me to my surroundings.
“Auntie Sydney!” Taryn shouts as she busts through the door of the room I’m in, a room I should be familiar with since it’s the guestroom at my best friend’s house. I guess that recollection just solidifies how long it’s been since I’ve had to sleep in said room.
“Taryn, sweetie … please don’t yell.” I cringe as Ally follows her inside holding two steaming cups of coffee. The heat swirls over the lips of the cups and my nose wakes up to the smell. But then my stomach quickly churns and threatens to revolt.
“Ugh.” I groan, throwing my head back on the pillow and curling up into a ball, holding my gut as the threat to puke becomes real.
“How are you feeling, Princess?” she mocks, as she sets my cup of coffee on the nightstand and sits down on the bed next to me. “Taryn, go tell your daddy to start the French toast.”
“Oh! Can I have lots of whipped cream on mine, Mommy?” she squeals, making me squeeze my eyes shut and throw my pillow over my ears to drown out the sound.
“Yes. But stop screaming, please.” I hear the patter of Taryn’s footsteps down the hardwood of the hallway before Ally adjusts her seat on the mattress. “Do you want to claw your eyes out?” she teases on a slight chuckle.
“Why on earth did you let me drink that much? And why aren’t you as hungover as I am right now?”
“Because it’s almost eleven and I made sure to drink water in between each drink last night. You act like I don’t know how to handle my alcohol,” she scoffs.
“Why didn’t you make me do that?” I ask as I remove the pillow from my face and shoot her a death glare.
“I did. But you told me you were on a mission to get fucked up and there was no stopping you.”
“Well, mission accomplished.” I groan. “How did we get home? The last thing I remember was standing in line for the bathroom.”
Ally smacks her lips together. “Ah, yes. Well, you passed out on me in line. I had to call Collin to help me carry you to the Uber that took us all home. You snored the entire way here, which Brandon found very sexy, by the way,” she jokes, referencing Collin’s friend. “But then as soon
