She nods and then smiles over at Andre. “I do. I can never thank you enough for what you did for me, Javi. I love you. But it’s time for you to live your life. It’s been six months. Your record will follow you around and make some things difficult, but you can’t live alone and solemn forever. You deserve to be happy, have fun, make something of yourself.”
I flash her a skeptical look. “The last time I had fun I beat the shit out of someone.”
She retreats back into the couch, hanging her head down. “That night was fucked up for so many reasons. But that doesn’t mean that you can’t ever let go again. Everyone had too much to drink, everyone made shitty choices that night. But you keep living back in that moment. We need to move forward.”
“Has your therapist been telling you this crap?” I ask jokingly, even though I know that my sister seeing a shrink has helped her heal tremendously while I was doing my time.
Andre chimes in. “You don’t know the half of it, man. There were some dark days in the beginning, but Selena has attempted to heal, and you need to too.”
I sigh heavily, leaning back into the couch cushions now. “I appreciate you two trying to break me out of my funk, but I’m better off just keeping to myself.”
Selena stands and places her hands on her hips, pursing her painted red lips at me. “No, Javi. That’s not going to happen. You’re going out with us this weekend.”
“Excuse me?” I stand and get up in her face like the many times I have before. My sister might be younger than me but she’s always thought she was the boss.
“You heard me, Javi,” she spits. “You’re going out and that’s it.”
I scoff at her and walk back into the kitchen. “You’re hilarious, Selena if you think you can boss me around.”
“Javi, I think Selena’s right. You need to go out. You don’t have to drink. Just get out of this house. You’re starting to smell like sawdust and paint.”
“It’s a new scent I’m trying out. I hear it makes all the women drop their panties.” Images of the last naked woman I saw come to the forefront, reminding me that it’s been a while since I got laid.
Selena comes up to me and places her hands on my shoulders, forcing me to look down at her. “I love you, Javi, but I’m not taking no for an answer. I’ll text you the details and we’ll pick you up Saturday.” Then she ruffles her hand through my overgrown hair. “But make sure you come see me this week for a haircut. Your hair is out of control.”
“Yes, Mom.”
My sister owns a full-service hair, nail, and skin salon in Newberry, just on the other side of the town. In this small Texas town, there’s a road that divides the patrons, much like a caste system. One step over the line and the income level of the people drops by thousands. My sister and I grew up on the poor side of the road, but when she set up her business, she aimed to take the money from those that had it. Now she services housewives and women who have nothing better to do than drop hundreds of dollars on their appearance. I hate that she deals with those women every day, but she assures me that the money she earns makes up for it.
She smacks me upside the head and then retreats, grabbing her purse from the counter. “I’m telling Mom you’re acting like a child. Pull your head out of your ass or I’m gonna put some gloves on and box with you at the gym.”
“I’d love to see you try,” I call after her as she walks out the front door and heads to the main house. She and Andre stopped by just as they got home from work so they could see the progress I’ve made on the inside of my place. It’s a work in progress for sure, but I’m happy with the results as they’ve come along.
“Go easy on her, man,” Andre says, interrupting my thoughts. “You can’t even begin to understand the guilt she feels over you doing time for her.”
I let out a heavy breath. “I know. But going out for one night isn’t going to miraculously turn things around for me. I’m better off just lying low and not putting myself in a position to get my ass in trouble again. I have six more months of parole. If my parole officer catches wind that I’m flirting with trouble, he’s gonna be beating down my door.”
“It’s one night. We won’t let it get out of control, okay? But Selena really wants to check this place out, and you’ve been working your ass off since you started at Gibson. Plus, you’re putting in two nights a week at the gym for me. You can’t work every day, Javi. You’re going to go crazy.”
“No. Going crazy is staring at the same four concrete walls for two years, man. Believe me, working and putting in time at the gym is a blessing.”
The monotony of punching a bag two nights a week and taking out my aggression by hammering nails into wood has actually given me some peace. For someone with a temper, I found the two most therapeutic jobs I could. I tried using sex to let off some steam too, but that unraveled very quickly. My old fling put me in a position to get my ass thrown back in jail when she told me she had a boyfriend, so I put an end to that real quick. The last thing I need is to get thrown back into the slammer because I violated my parole fighting another piece of
