Obviously, she cares for me if she’s with me and has been thus far. She hasn’t pushed me to divulge everything, even after the moments that I shut her down when she did inquire. Is it perhaps a subconscious effort on my part to protect myself from getting hurt? Or do I still believe she’ll leave me even after she knows, although she’s remained steady in our relationship this entire time?
Maybe it’s time to just tell her, get it over with. Perhaps this weekend while we’re shutting out the world and immersing ourselves in each other I can rip the band aid off and give her all the darkest parts of me, the details I’ve tried desperately to keep hidden from her, but I know can’t stay buried forever.
Later that night all six of us Uber to The Jameson, and just seeing Sydney again after hours of intense thought has me convinced.
It’s time. I need to get it all out. If she truly cares for me the way she says and the way I’ve come to realize, then surely she can understand why I did what I did. I’m not that man anymore either, and I hope she can sense that too.
“To letting loose after a long week!” Selena exclaims as we all bump our glasses together once we made it inside the honky tonk. I don’t fail to realize how differently I felt the last time I was here. Now with Sydney snuggled up next to me, I’m not hating being in this place nearly as much.
“Amen to that!” Sydney declares as she slings back a shot of vodka and winces afterwards.
“Why do girls always make that face after taking a shot? I don’t understand why you do it if it’s so awful?” Collin argues as Ally sucks on a lemon beside him.
“Because it gets you drunk faster. Duh!” she shouts. “Besides, you don’t seem to mind when I do that after you cum in my mouth, so why the sudden strong feelings on my facial expressions?” She pops her hip out as the rest of us grow slightly uncomfortable.
“O-kay,” Sydney drags out. “Let’s not take the conversation in that direction, please. It’s time to have fun. There are no children to worry about and plenty of booze to be absorbed. A good time is in order, everyone!”
“Here, here!” Selena adds as the girls shout and the boys wince this time at the sound.
With her hands placed on my chest, Sydney bats her eyelashes up at me as if the gesture is necessary at all. With the way I feel about her, there’s no need for her to pull those kind of moves. Doesn’t mean I don’t like watching her lay it on thick though. “Are you gonna dance with me, Javi?”
“I’m not much of a dancer, Princess.”
“Please,” she drawls as her bottom lip juts out.
“Only because you asked nicely.” I groan in her ear as her face lights up and she whisks me toward the dance floor.
The last time I was here, I was watching Andre spin my sister around on the light wooden floor, burying my head down low next to my glass of Coke. Now I’m spinning my girlfriend around on the dance floor, grinning like a damn fool at the way she looks as I twirl her around. I even dressed more appropriately for the part in dark jeans, brown work boots, and a plan white tee. I still have on my ball cap backwards though, that won’t ever change.
“You can dance,” Sydney cries out in elation as we step along while the other two couples join us.
“I know a thing or two. My mom used to make me dance with her in the kitchen sometimes, especially to songs that reminded her of my dad.”
Sydney’s face softens just as the music starts to slow down too. “Aw, I love that, Javi.”
“Now the only woman besides her that I would dance with is you, baby.” I swear I see her eyes glisten with moisture under the lights spinning above us.
“I’m crazy about you, Javier Montes … just in case you didn’t know that.”
I chuckle softly as I hold her close to my body while we teeter back and forth on our feet. But there’s nothing funny about the way I feel about this girl.
“I’m crazy about you too, Sydney.”
Her scent holds me captive, but it’s really her eyes that do the trick—they hold my attention, making me blissfully unaware just long enough not to process what’s going on to my right.
“What the fuck do you think you’re doing here?” Andre’s voice booms over the music, causing many heads to turn in his direction.
My ears perk up at the sound of his voice and the commotion coming over off the dance floor. Seems while I was engrossed in Sydney’s eyes and voice, my sister and her husband left the area, only to be greeted by a parasite with the intent to leach out all of the fun.
The minute my eyes see his face, red clouds my vision, and a rage I’ve only ever felt once before in my life rushes back through my veins in vengeance. My blood pressure skyrockets and I clench Sydney’s waist in my hands. My heart pounds in my ears and the intense need to kill him scorches my skin.
“Ow! Javi, you’re pinching me,” she cries out as I snap back to her and release her on a jerky movement. “What’s going on?” Her face turns back to where my attention is directed, blinking a few times just to make sure I’m not seeing things.
“You’d better get the fuck away from us if you know what’s good for you.” Andre steps up into Jesus’s face, seething with rage that I could only compare to my own. But I still bet mine is worse.
“Hey, Selena. Lookin’ good babe.” He juts his chin my sister’s direction
