“He’s not my boyfriend, stupid.”
“Stop fighting in front of the baby,” Mami yells from the kitchen.
Me and Lili grin at each other, then someone knocks on the door.
“I’ll get it,” Lili says, darting to the door.
I cradle the baby in my arms, waiting to see this guy Lili invited over for lunch.
“Hey,” she greets with a huge smile. “I’m glad you could make it.”
“Of course.”
Lili steps back and Merrick fucking Kingston steps in.
My gasp is audible, and his head snaps in my direction.
God, he’s gorgeous. How can someone continue to get more and more good-looking? Isn’t there a limit? Shouldn’t he stop growing more handsome, so he doesn’t put every other man to shame?
When I finally focus on his eyes, I can tell he’s just as surprised as I am. But that doesn’t make sense, because this is my house. Well, my mom’s house, but shouldn’t he have guessed I’d be here?
He looks back at Lili, who’s smiling like a crazy person. Ah, now I get it. This is all her doing.
Merrick’s eyes land back on me and his stupid perfect lips quirk up on the side, making him even more attractive. I’ve always loved his cocky grin.
I mean, I used to love it.
“Hey, Ali.”
12
Merrick
Present Day
Ali looks me up and down as discreetly as possible, but it puts a smirk on my face.
“Kingston,” he says by way of greeting. “Lili, can I talk to you for a second?”
Lili glances at me then back to her brother. “Um. No.”
“Lili,” he growls.
“Oh, come on, guys. You had a fight, but it’s been years. Let’s kiss and make up.”
I chance a look at Ali and lift a brow. He scowls at me in return. “You don’t know the details,” he says quietly.
“Then fill me in,” she replies, putting her hands on her hips.
“Maybe I should go.”
Lili turns to me. “No! Mami made all this food. She’ll kill me and you both.”
“Mami knew?” Ali asks, his eyes growing wide.
“Of course I knew,” Luisa says, coming straight for me. “Give me a hug. How are you?”
I wrap my arms around her, having to bend down a little. “I’m doing good. How’ve you been?”
She takes a step back, holding onto my hands and giving me a once over. “I’m just fine. Doesn’t look like you’ve missed many meals, but I’m gonna fatten you up, anyway.”
I laugh. “Okay, sounds good.”
“You have about thirty minutes before it’s done. Lili, get the baby and come with me. You boys can catch up.”
Ali sighs, handing the baby to Lili.
“Don’t worry. You can hold her later,” Lili says.
“Come on,” Ali says, his voice gruff. “We’ll go out back.”
I follow him outside, my eyes taking advantage of the view. Ali always had good muscle tone, but now he’s a lot bigger. He must spend a lot of time in the gym. His brown hair is cut a little shorter than I remember, but still long enough for me to tug on.
Why am I thinking like that? He clearly hates me.
Once we’re in the backyard, he sits down in one of the patio chairs, so I choose one across from him.
“I can’t believe Lili invited you,” he says, shaking his head.
“Well, I didn’t expect you to be here either. She told me you would be gone.”
“How did she even know how to get in touch with you? I don’t even have your number.”
“I ran into her last night. She wanted my number so we could plan to meet up. She wanted me to see the baby.”
He keeps shaking his head, but he never looks at me.
“Ali,” I say softly.
His eyes meet mine, and we stay connected for several seconds before I can find words. I want to say so much and have no idea where to start.
You look really good.
I’m sorry.
Please forgive me.
I want another chance.
You’re so fucking beautiful.
I want you.
I’m an idiot.
Are you happy?
Do you have a boyfriend?
Do I still have a chance?
“I’ve missed you.”
He rolls his eyes and looks away. “Sure.”
I lean forward and rest my arms on the table between us. “Come on, man. You were my best friend. You were. . .everything to me. Of course I’ve missed you.”
“I’m surprised you could remember me with all the women you’ve been with over the years. Who were the last ones? The two in Paris? Oh wait, no. There was another one in Germany, right? Two weeks ago?”
I fall back in my chair and let my arms drop to the sides. “Don’t tell me you believe everything they say in the tabloids.”
“So, you’re telling me none of that’s true?” he asks, throwing me a side eye before looking back at the yard.
“Yeah, I’ve been out with women. Yes, I was seen with two chicks in Paris and one in Germany. But I didn’t sleep with them, Ali.”
He snorts, not believing me. “It’s not like it even matters.”
“I want you to believe me, so yes, it does it matter.”
“I’ve believed you before, and you’ve only let me down.”
I run my hand over my face and lean forward again. “Okay, yes. I’m a fucking asshole, okay? I know that. It lives with me every day. Have I slept with women? Yes, I have. I’ve done a lot of things I wish I didn’t, but you don’t understand what it’s like to be me. I’m having to lie to everybody on a day-to-day basis. I’ve been trying to lie to myself. I wondered if I could be with a woman, so I tried it. There’s women around all the time, and I wanted to get off without having to do it myself.
“It’s not easy finding a man to be with when your face is everywhere. How could I hookup with a guy and be sure he wouldn’t run and tell everybody that Merrick Kingston is gay? So, yes, I’ve fucked some women, and I hated myself the entire time I was doing it. I’ve gotten blowjobs and handjobs from them,
