Hours later, I’m at Elijah’s finishing dinner with my brothers. At the last minute, we decided to have a going away party. I was sure to get in touch with Lexie and invite her and Ali, hoping she’d get him here, because I know he won’t show up if I invite him.
Sky and the guys show up with a handful of people, and I try not to pace the room waiting to see if Ali shows up. I join everyone in the den as people start drinking and mingling, and when the doorbell rings, Elijah gets up to answer it. Seconds later, as my heart pounds in my chest, I spot Lexie, Leo, and Ali. My breath leaves my lungs in rush and my lips curl up on one side.
I approach them with a grin. “Hey, thanks for showing up.”
“Are you kidding me? Like I’d ever turn this down,” Lexie says, her pink lips stretching into a wide smile. “Thanks for inviting us. Me and Leo were just. . .”
She keeps talking, but I can’t help but gaze over her shoulder where Ali stands, looking both uncomfortable and annoyed. I wonder what she did or said to get him here, because I’m pretty sure this is the last place he wants to be.
Ali’s eyes find mine, but he just stoically stares at me. He doesn’t look angry, but he’s definitely not happy either.
“Mind if we get a drink? Merrick?”
I snap out of my daze. “Oh, yeah. Sorry. Help yourself,” I say, gesturing to the liquor.
She and Leo walk away, and it looks like Ali’s about to follow them, but I step in front of him and put my hand on his chest briefly before dropping my arm to my side.
“Hey.”
When Ali looks at me, my heart shatters because he looks broken and sad, and I know it’s my fault.
“I’m glad you’re here,” I tell him.
“Why’s that?”
I take a step back, giving us a respectable distance. “Because I don’t know when I’ll see you again.”
He shakes his head and bites on his bottom lip, not in the way I’m used to. It’s not because he’s flirting with me or because he’s turned on. He’s biting his lip in a way that lets me know he’s trying to keep from saying something.
“You know what, Kingston?” He chuckles humorlessly, and I brace myself for the attack. I know he’s getting ready to aim an arrow at my heart and let loose. “Even after the lies and bullshit, my heart still sings when I see you, and I wish more than anything that I’d never met you.”
I jolt back. “Why would you say that?”
His brown eyes have lost their warmth, and now as he looks at me, they appear to be slightly red and on the verge of releasing tears. “Because I know I’ll never love anybody the way I love you. I’ll never find anybody who will be able to compare to you, and I’ll live the rest of my life knowing my soulmate is out there and I can’t be with him.”
The arrow he fired off makes its way through my heart, splitting it in two, leaving an ache in my chest. I quickly glance around to see if anybody’s paying attention, and when I find that everybody’s preoccupied, I tug on his shirt sleeve and say, “Follow me.”
I leave the den and make a left turn and go straight to the back door. When I turn the knob and pull it open, Ali walks past me and steps onto the platform of the staircase. I join him and close the door behind us, giving us some privacy.
“Why are you mad? Because I’m leaving?”
Ali scoffs. “No. Of course I want you to be happy and successful, but I also want you to be honest with me. Since the beginning, we had plans to be together, and I get that your music took off and changed things, but you kept stringing me along, letting me believe things would be better. You tell me you love me and then you leave me two days later. You had so much time to let me know what was going on. I had no clue you had been signed to a label. I was in the dark about you going to New York for months to record an album. I was like a stupid kid, lost in my own little love-sick bubble thinking you were gonna come out soon and we’d be together and happy. Meanwhile, you knew exactly what was coming and decided that I didn’t need to know until the last possible minute. You don’t make decisions for me, Kingston!” he yells, pushing me in the chest. “Fuck you for keeping shit from me.” Another shove. “Fuck you for lying.” He pushes me again, and it’s only because of the barrier behind me that I don’t fall off the steps. “And fuck you for making me fall in love with you.”
I grab his wrists and yank him into me. He angles his head up, tears brimming his eyes as his chest heaves with deep breaths.
“Alejandro,” I say softly, leaning in slowly, waiting for him to pull away.
“I’m gonna miss you so fucking much.”
My resolve breaks and I slam my mouth against his. He doesn’t stop me. Instead, his arms wrap around my back and I frame his face with my hands, sliding my tongue against his.
Our kiss is passionate.
Angry.
Devastated.
It’s full of love and frustration.
The wetness of his tears touch my thumbs and my heart shatters.
We kiss so we don’t have to talk.
We kiss because we love each other.
We kiss to apologize.
We kiss to say goodbye.
27
Merrick
Present Day
It’s nearly seven-fifteen when Ali pulls up next to me in the parking lot of one of the elementary schools in Gaspar.
I hop out of the SUV, wearing a pair of black and white basketball shorts and a black T-shirt with the sleeves cut off.
“’Bout time, slow ass,” I say, coming
