“It does rather take the pressure off, yes,” Lady Agnes said, adding in a lower voice, “Though if he does not like me, I shall be put out, no matter how much I tell myself I am above such things at my age. How ridiculous we all are!”
“Indeed. I think I understand. But you must not think any longer about it, because here he is.” Adelia stood up and welcomed Captain Everard as he approached alongside Felicia.
Adelia had not spoken with Felicia about any of her plans regarding Lady Agnes and Captain Everard. Had it been one of her other daughters, Adelia would have included them from the start. Dido, for example, would have been a perfect companion in these machinations, and Adelia felt a pang that she had a totally different relationship with Felicia. With Felicia, Adelia found herself constantly slipping back into being a stern and firm mother. And she had hoped she’d left all that behind when all seven of her daughters had left home.
She told herself that she’d kept things private because she didn’t want to burden Felicia with additional things to worry about, but in truth, Adelia was still only partly sure she was doing the right thing. Still, all she was really doing was making an introduction. Both parties were old and experienced enough to take things from there – and the outcome would not be Adelia’s responsibility.
Captain Everard bowed low. Lady Agnes rose elegantly to her feet and allowed her hand to be briefly taken. Adelia remained standing and let Captain Everard take her seat. As smoothly as she could, she steered Felicia away from the pair. She had no need to remain with them as a chaperone and she had no desire at all to be party to their conversation.
“See, isn’t this going well?” Adelia said to Felicia as they left Lady Agnes and Captain Everard together. “Do try to relax. It cannot be good for you, always frowning and worrying. I am sure your father would back me up.”
“Where is papa?”
“He is probably hiding from all of this in the study.”
“And why can I not hide? What is he doing up there? Why must he continue to talk about this dreadful – you know. The business with Mr Knight.”
“You know how he is, dear. He gets a bee in his bonnet, that’s all. And you cannot hide. You know very well that you have duties here. Responsibilities. People expect you to behave in a certain way, and it’s not so bad, is it?”
“But why must I?” Felicia whinged.
Adelia’s patience wore very thin. “You must because you married Lord Buckshaw, that is why you must. If you did not want a life of duty as a lady, you ought to have married elsewhere. You had other offers. You could have said no to Lord Buckshaw and told me you wanted a simpler life. You must accept the consequences of what you have chosen for your life.”
“But mama, that is unfair. I did not know what this all meant! I did not really realise ... I was too young.”
“You were no younger than anyone else. This is your life. Is it truly so intolerable? What would you rather do? There are ways you might make it easier on yourself. You know how your sister Mary has found a certain meaning to her life.”
“Mama, I have no desire to run a racing stables.”
“Then if this is not what you want – what do you want? Because Felicia, I confess, I am running out of ideas about how I might help you. I only want you to be happy. Sometimes you are light and full of fun, and other times you are ...”
“Other times I am quite, quite mad. I know.”
“No! Not mad. You are not insane. You feel things, you are sensitive, that is all.”
“But I feel these things physically, mama. I feel as if insects are running over my body – my vision clouds – a voice roars in my head. I see things that are not there.” Felicia turned to her. “I am scared, mama. Tell papa. I am scared.”
Adelia wanted to grab her and hug her, and shake her and comfort her, slap her and reassure her, all at once. “Oh my poor dear child. I cannot imagine what you are feeling. I cannot imagine what it is like, and I am so sorry.”
And strangely, that confession made Felicia smile. “Thank you,” she said.
Just as Adelia was about to ask her what she was being thanked for, there was a great deal of excited shouting from within the house. Adelia and Felicia were still outside on the terrace and had been screened from the front of the castle so did not know who had just arrived, but from the laughter and booming voices, it was someone who had been long expected and was very welcome.
Adelia knew instantly that it must be Percy, returned at last from his latest expedition.
She looked across at Felicia but her face was once again a mask of worry and anxiety. She opened her mouth to prepare her daughter but she had no time. Suddenly, Percy burst out of the double doors onto the terrace, and everyone on the lawns stopped, looked, gasped – and then burst out cheering.
He was dressed in a slightly crumpled fine woollen suit, ideal for travelling, with a loose linen shirt and a hat that was askew. He had a wide sandy moustache and a firm, jutting clean-shaven chin, and he was grinning broadly, his
