“Yes. Gone. And then he laughed a bit and took it back and said that wasn’t right, just that he’d had a flash of relief when he first heard, that was all, and wasn’t it awful of him? And I said yes, it was. What? Should I have not said that?”
Adelia was shaking her head but she said, “Well, you were telling the truth, I suppose.”
“He’s a funny man. I’ve never really had the chance to speak with him before and obviously this isn’t the most ideal of circumstances but he’s all bluster and noise when he’s in company but once you get him alone, he’s ... well, I don’t know how to describe it. He’s like a broken toy. All his energy has quite gone out of him, like the clockwork’s run down.”
“How sad!”
“Yes, it is – and he is. He’s not a happy man. I asked why he travelled so much.”
“What did he say?”
Theodore frowned. “He said, in a mumble, that it was the only thing he could control. I told him not to be so silly because he was Lord Buckshaw, Earl of all of this estate, and he had ultimate control over huge lands and many people. But then he walked off, without saying another thing. Somewhat abrasive, just like his aunt can be.”
“She did that to me. I suppose it runs in the family.”
“It was rude of him.”
“I agree. I don’t suppose he said anything about Felicia?”
“Only that he was concerned about her.”
Adelia got to her feet. It was nearly time to change her dress. She said, “Before he came back, I was quite ready to throw a vase at his head. But the way he spoke to Felicia makes me think that he really does care for her, very deeply. I was rather annoyed that she rebutted him. She wouldn’t even allow him to escort her into the castle again.”
“Do you think it is because of the ... baby, such as it was?”
“Perhaps. Or more likely, because of his actions after that terrible event. Yet they are not the first couple for this to happen to, and in truth, is it not common for most women to experience something like this? I have been so dreadfully lucky, I know.”
Theodore had to nod in agreement. “Sometimes it is so early that the woman barely knows the babe has been lost; and yes, it is common enough but no less awful for all that.” He didn’t want to carry on. He was an objective medical man who spoke nothing less than the truth to his patients – often to the detriment of their wellbeing – but this was an area that he found surprisingly difficult to cope with. It surprised himself, at any rate. He told himself he should be much more hard-hearted and practical but every loss was like a stab to the heart and he simply didn’t know how to talk to Adelia about that. He knew that Percy was likely to be feeling the same way, and he ached for the younger man. It was something they were never going to be able to discuss, he felt. How painful it was to be a man, alone with such unspeakable emotions.
He also got the feeling that Adelia had no idea what it was like for him or for Percy.
Adelia said, “I wonder if there is anything else between them. She was so very brusque to him. Not quite as if she was scared of him, but there was some reaction that was hard to fathom.” She crossed the room, heading for the smaller side room where she could dress in privacy. A maid would already be waiting for her. “I don’t suppose he voiced any suspicions about Knight’s death? Does he know of anyone who might have wished the man ill?”
“He did not. He changed the subject and spoke again about Felicia.”
“His mind went from the murder to his wife?”
“Do you think that’s significant?” Theodore asked with an uncomfortable feeling growing in his belly. He decided to assume he was simply hungry.
“She’s strange. I know she’s our daughter but ...” Adelia stood now at the door, her hand on the handle, her back to the room. She spoke to the wall as if she couldn’t face her husband as she said the next thing. “Could – could – she have been responsible?”
Theodore sat up and swung his legs off the bed. “She could have done it – but by God, she would not have been responsible for it!”
Adelia leaned forward, pressing her head against the wall as if it was needed to prop her up. She whispered in a cracking voice, “You mean, if she truly is insane?”
Theodore could not reply. He was glad that his wife could not see the tears in his eyes.
Fourteen
Adelia’s fears were not allayed in the slightest the next morning when she went to find Felicia. Felicia had not come down to breakfast, and ordinarily Adelia would have left the couple well alone; Percy had been away for months and would naturally wish to spend some time with his wife. But he had come to breakfast alone, and then stayed downstairs, apparently engrossed in the newspapers which had been delivered. Adelia didn’t disturb him but instead slipped out of the breakfast room and spoke to one of the chambermaids who said that “My lady is unwell.”
“The usual?”
“Oh, it is never usual,” the woman replied with a grimace.
Adelia knocked on Felicia’s door and pressed her ear to it to listen for a reply. None came. She glanced at the maid. “Was she awake?”
The maid nodded. “She has been awake most of the night, pacing and rubbing at her wrists.”
Adelia knocked again and started to slowly open the door, saying, “Felicia?”
“Don’t come in! Don’t let them in!” Felicia slammed herself against the door from the inside and Adelia was thrown back into the corridor.
“Stand back. I am coming in, but I promise you that I am
