Adam sat up and put both hands on either side of my face. My vision started to speckle out to white.
I was only vaguely aware of Adam yelling, “Luke! Luke!” over and over again, but his voice sounded far away, like it was underwater.
The sound of rushing water in my ears got louder and louder, and it was getting harder for me to hear Adam… things were starting to fade.
But then I could make out one distinct sentence above the rushing noise: “We need to save her!”
We. Me and him. My mother needed me.
Miraculously, clinging onto that feeling of being needed was like clambering onto a life vest someone had thrown from a boat. My vision was getting clearer, the sound in my ears was dying down. I wasn’t drowning anymore.
“Luke,” Adam said, holding my face, panic in his eyes.
I blinked a few times and steadied my breathing. It was as if I’d been present all along, but we both knew that I’d taken a trip to the dark parts of my mind and then somehow returned, unscathed.
“You beat it,” Adam said in disbelief. “Luke, you beat it!”
I got a handle on my breathing and said, “No time. She needs us.”
Adam nodded, and we both leaped into action.
It only took a few minutes to get to the bridge down by the lake, since Adam was pressing his truck well past the speed limit. He’d taken out a small, portable flasher from his glove box and put it on the roof of his truck. It shone yellow in the night.
We pulled up to the spot next to the bridge we’d parked at earlier.
As soon as Adam parked the truck, I tore out of it. There were police cars all around with their lights on; I had to maneuver my way through them to get to the bridge. Everything was shining red and blue with a flickering light.
I couldn’t focus on anything except getting to the middle of that bridge where there was a group of dark figures all crowded around a single shape leaning out above the water.
“Mom!” I bellowed, the adrenaline coursing through me. “Mom!”
There was a rustling movement as the police officers in the group turned to look at me. I joined them, not wanting to get too close yet.
“Mom,” I panted, out of breath.
She was there on the ledge, looking as immaculate as ever. There wasn’t a single wrinkle in her pantsuit; not a single one of her blonde hairs were out of place.
“She won’t talk to us,” an officer next to me whispered.
“She’ll talk to me,” I said, a newfound confidence blossoming in my gut.
I parted the crowd of police officers so I was at the front.
“Mom, what the hell are you doing?” I asked daringly.
She turned to look at me, and her beautiful face was streaked with black mascara tears. “Luke my baby… everyone hates me.”
“No one hates you,” I reasoned with her, carefully getting closer.
“You hate me,” she said in that same hollow voice that she used whenever she became Scary Mom.
“I don’t, you know that’s not true! Mom, I love you!” I pleaded.
I felt a hand on my shoulder and looked up to see Adam right behind me.
He gave me a reassuring squeeze.
My mom mumbled something about everyone being fake.
“Do you think I’m fake? Do you think my love for you is fake?” I asked her.
She was quiet.
I took a risk. I’d known my mother my entire life: there was only one thing she needed to hear that would make her come down, and that was a challenge.
“Mom, you’re running away. That’s not the mother I know,” I said, taking a step forward.
She twitched. I knew I was getting somewhere.
“The mom I know can solve any problem and make it look easy. The mom I know looks challenge and fear in the face and spits in its eye! Are you really going to let dad get under your skin like this? He’s a loser!” I shouted, my words echoing into the night.
Honestly, I hadn’t really ever thought of my dad consciously as a loser, but as the words tumbled out of my mouth, I knew they were true.
“He’s insecure, and he’s a cheater and a liar, and he doesn’t deserve a woman like you!” I said, getting stronger with every word.
The group of cops behind me were dead quiet, listening to my words.
I took another step closer to her.
She saw me, her eyes watching me carefully like a skittish animal. She was looking at me like she was seeing me for the first time.
“You’re better than him. Come down from there, I need you,” I held my arms out, asking for a hug with my body. “Please.”
There was no noise on the bridge except the howl of the wind whipping past.
It tousled her blond hair, hair that matched mine, as she stepped down onto the pavement. She took a few steps into my arms and started crying.
There were cheers and clapping from the officers surrounding us.
“I’ll always be here for you, mom,” I said, clinging to her tightly as tears started streaming down my face. I leaned down and cried into her shoulder, and we stayed like that for a while, just two vulnerable humans clinging onto each other. After a few seconds, I felt something warm on my back and felt Adam hug me too.
I was sandwiched between them, feeling their warmth course through me. For a moment I wondered if this feeling of safety and security emanating from Adam would be flow through me and into my mom as if she could get it by proximity. If she could feel an ounce of the safety of what I felt for Adam, she knew that everything would be okay.
* * *
We drove my mom to the hospital so they could watch her for the night. On the way over, she came more and more back to herself.
That’s when I started to realize something might actually be wrong with her mind — if
