White gloves covered her hands. Oversized red shoes sat on her feet. The smooth soles had holes in them.
She was…beautiful.
She gave Hilario an exaggerated wink.
“I’m sure Hilario had a good reason, didn’t you, Hilario?” the Alexandrite Witch said.
Hilario’s knees threatened to give out on him.
“Mother Alexandrite,” the Sapphire Witch said, “There are important matters we need to discuss.”
The Alexandrite Witch raised a plump hand and honked her horn. It had a sweet, high note. So perfect.
“Oh course we do, dear Sapphire,” she said, “But first, we need to make our guests comfortable, don’t we?”
“Mother Alexandrite, these are common creatures,” Sapphire said.
The air sparkled around the Alexandrite Witch. Queezleyan jumped from her lap. Skittered over behind Sapphire. Alexandrite’s body lifted from the two faced throne. Her floppy shoes paddled the air. She swam around the throne twice, then settled her feet to the floor.
She pulled a ratty umbrella from her sleeve. Popped it open and held it above her.
“Aren’t we all common in some way, my dear?” she ask.
Through clenched teeth, Sapphire said, “Not you, mother.”
Hilario’s heart pounded so hard it was near bursting from his chest. Such a vision of beauty. So wonderful.
Of course, it couldn’t last.
Because his luck didn’t work that way.
Alexandrite turned her iridescent face to him. “I think Hilario is very special,” she said, “And ready for a very special job.”
Oh no. Not special jobs.
Nothing ever came from special jobs.
32
Detective Marco yanked his gun from it holster. He pointed it at the Alexandrite Witch.
“Where’s my sister, you fucking fruitcake?” he said. His voice echoed in the cavernous dome atop the spire. Behind the Alexandrite Witch the spiky black mountains and the red sky stood in stark contrast to her hobo clown uniform.
Yo, leave me out of this one, dog, the gun said.
Marco gave the gun an incredulous look. “What?”
Take a look around you, dog, the gun said, You think a little bang bang is going to get you and your sis out of here?
“But–”
But put me back, man, the gun said, Bring me back out when you’re ready to shoot the big clown.
Slowly, Marco lowered the gun and straightened up. He shoved the gun back in the holster.
“I want to go home,” he said.
The Alexandrite Witch did a pirouette. The air bloomed with the scent of cotton candy.
It made Hilario’s heart flutter.
“All in good time,” the Alexandrite Witch said, “But first, we need to help Hilario with his special job.”
Oh no. Not the special job.
He’d received many special jobs in his life. All of them involved great risk and no small amount of pain and suffering. His first instinct was to run. But there was the problem of being inside the keep of the matriarch of the gem witches. The place were their power was strongest.
And besides, it would have been rude to leave so suddenly.
Hilario put his gloved hands together and gave the Alexandrite Witch a bow. Well, as much of a bow as his enormous belly would let him.
“Lady Alexandrite,” he said, “I am honored that you think I am worthy of a special task. And in normal circumstances I would leap to prove myself worthy of your consideration. However…I am currently tasked with the solemn duty of passing rites for my dear friend. And, of course returning my companions, including the sister of my profane companion here, to the normal world.”
The air sparkled around the Alexandrite Witch. She flapped her floppy shoes and lifted off the floor again. She pulled a silly wand from her sleeve. One with a shiny gold star at the end. She waved it in the general direction of Hilario and Marco.
Hilario winced at the sparkles that flew from it. But nothing seemed to come of it.
“Silly Hilario,” the Alexandrite Witch said, “Don’t you know it’s all part of the same thing?”
A tightness gripped his chest. Oh please let it be the fatal heart attack that had been stalking his nightmares. Sorry Lady Alexandrite, I can’t help you, I’m dead. No, of course that wouldn’t work. She’d just grab his spirit and stick into a handy container and send him off to whatever horrible punishment she had planned.
Beautiful and sexy women like her couldn’t be trusted.
“Your friend Larry was just the pebble that started the rockslide,” the Alexandrite Witch said, “The first domino to fall. The pin pulled from the hand grenade. Are you sensing my drift, sweet clown of mine?”
The tightness in his chest gripped him so tight he could barely draw a breath. His guts turned to jelly. His legs wobbled like they were made from rubber.
“My lady?” he said, “I fear I do not understand.”
The Alexandrite Witch paddled through the air to him. She rotated her body so she was face to face with him. Though upside down.
“Dear Hilario,” she said, “The walls are coming down in your normal world city. Sapphire and others have been working to shore them up. But they can’t hold it back forever.”
Through a mouth as dry as a desert, Hilario croaked out: “Hold what back, my lady?”
But he already knew. The signs had been there all along. He simply shoved them in the back of his mind and refused to think about it.
The Alexandrite Witch continued to rotate. Her face stayed level with his while her body slowly turned in a arc around it. It was quite disconcerting.
“We think we might be able to heal it after it’s broken through,” she said, “Once the pressure had been relieved. But by then it would be too late. The people of the city would
