I nodded, swallowing down my urge to argue with him as I turned onto my street. “Thanks for picking up, Colby.”
“Always, brother. I look forward to watching your game on Sunday.”
That makes one of us.
Belle
On Friday night, Gemma swiped at the tear that leaked free from her left eye, doing it as slyly as she could like I wouldn’t notice. But her sniff gave her away, and I pegged a Milk Dud at her.
“Are you seriously crying?”
“What?!” She threw her hands up, not bothering to hide the next few tears. “It’s Queer Eye. How do you not cry?”
I smirked, pretending like I was going to throw another Milk Dud at her before I popped it in my mouth instead. “I still can’t believe this is your bachelorette party,” I said, gesturing to my messy condo. It’d been a mess all week, thanks to the disaster state of mind I’d been in. But Gemma had insisted this was what she wanted to do for her bachelorette party — a classic junk food and guilty-pleasure TV night.
She feigned offense, pressing her hand to her chest. “Are you saying this isn’t the most glorious bachelorette party you’ve ever been to? I mean, look at us,” she said, waving her hand over herself. “We’re in our PJs instead of heels and some obnoxiously tight dress. We’re on the couch instead of out at some bar we don’t want to be at. We have enough chocolate and pizza to feed a high school, and the wine is much cheaper when we buy it from the liquor store than at the bar.” She held up her glass to cheers herself on that one, taking a sip before she smiled at me. “Besides, we did the whole pink penis straw night out on the town thing the first time I tied the knot, remember?” She wrinkled her nose then. “And that marriage did not turn out the best.”
I smiled back. “As long as you’re happy, that’s all that matters to me.”
“I am happy. I really am.”
“You’re getting married,” I whispered, squealing a little as I tickled her side. “Like… in four weeks!”
Gemma sighed, sinking farther into the couch with a smitten smile. She might as well have had little hearts exploding in her eyes when she looked at me. “Belle, I feel like everything life has put me through was all for this. He’s the reason.” She shook her head. “I don’t care what happens for the rest of my life, as long as I have him.”
My throat tightened, because with every word she said, I thought more and more of Makoa. “Well, Zach’s not going anywhere,” I told her. “He’d never let you go. So just settle in for a lifetime of happiness.”
Gemma chuckled, biting her lip. “I have to tell you something.”
“Oh, God,” I said, stomach dropping at her words. “Please, don’t throw anything crazy on me right now. I can’t handle much more.”
She smiled, but it was a sad smile. “It’s nothing bad. I just… I wanted you to be the first person I told. Besides Zach, of course.”
I blinked. “Okay…”
Gemma sat up straighter, hugging her knees. “I think… I think I want to have a baby.”
My eyes nearly bulged out of my head. “Wait… really?”
She nodded, smile growing. “Yeah. Really. I just… I can’t stop thinking about it. Every day that I’m with Zach, I think of how he’d make the best dad. I get butterfly belly just thinking about him holding our little boy, or girl, watching them play in the park, watching him teach them how to ride their bike…”
“And you told Zach?”
She nodded, biting her lip again. “I think we’re going to start trying. Like… starting with our wedding night.”
I couldn’t explain the range of emotions that flooded me in that moment. The first thing I felt was utter joy for my best friend. It’d been a long time since either of us had brought up kids, but I could remember drunken nights in college, laying together in my dorm and staring up at the ceiling talking about how cute our future children would be, how many babies we wanted, what we’d name them. I thought maybe she’d have a baby with Carlo, but she never did, and all my hopes for a baby went out the window when Nathan broke things off.
And that was the second thing I felt.
An empty, hollow longing for the exact same thing Gemma wanted.
I felt that excitement bubbling up in her belly because I could picture the same thing with Makoa. It was absurd. We’d only spent a few months together, and somehow, I’d fallen for him so hard that I could picture my entire life with him. I could see him down on one knee. I could picture walking down the aisle to him. And, just like Gemma, I could see him holding our daughter or son.
But the big difference between our dreams was that Gemma’s was in reach.
And mine would never come true.
“Gem, I don’t even have words,” I said, crawling over to wrap her in a fierce hug. “I’m so, so happy for you. And I’m going to spoil the shit out of that little baby.”
Gemma laughed in my arms, smacking my ass when we finally broke contact and I crawled back over to my wine. I took a long sip, and I felt her eyes on me the entire time.
“What?” I asked, arching
