“Yes, we still could,” Simon said, smiling, and Olivia sat back against the sofa cushions with a feeling of relief—and excitement. Because he’d said it all, really, hadn’t he?
Chapter Eleven
“Those look amazing. Far too good to eat.”
Olivia let out a laugh as she gazed at the platter of red velvet cupcakes, the buttercream icing whipped into silky swirls, decorated with holly leaves cut from royal icing and dusted with edible gold glitter.
“I think they might be my best yet.” She placed one on top, holding her breath as she made sure they wouldn’t come toppling down.
“Everything looks fab. How many people do you think will be coming?”
It was three o’clock on Wednesday afternoon, and Olivia’s Christmas Carols & Quiz Evening—Harriet’s suggestion to give it that name—was due to start in a couple of hours. She’d spent the whole week getting ready, from perfecting her mulled wine recipe (more cloves) to baking enormous amounts of shortbread, mince pies, and of course, cupcakes.
“I really don’t know.” She wiped her hands down the sides of her jeans, nerves fluttering in her tummy for all sorts of reasons. She’d put a lot into this evening, and she hoped it might put Tea on the Lea on the map for many villagers who had simply walked by it in the past. She would also be seeing Simon again; he’d come in for his cupcake for the last two days, but both visits had been quick, little more than a chat over the till as she gave him his change. She was looking forward to seeing him properly tonight; things had shifted between them since Sunday, had become both more intense and more comfortable, an intimacy growing between them that both thrilled and scared her when she thought about it, which she did pretty much constantly.
“So how are things with Simon?” Ellie asked. All four of her friends had texted her after her ice-skating date, but Olivia had been a bit reluctant to impart any details. She’d simply said she’d had a good time, and they would be seeing each other again.
“They’re good, I think,” she said now as she put the platter of cupcakes to the side and turned to stir the simmering mulled wine. She still needed to shower and change before driving to Witney to pick up her mum, and then coming back here to commence the festivities.
“You think?” Ellie prompted with a gentle smile. “Or you know?”
“Well, it’s still very new.”
“Of course…”
“And it’s a bit…” Olivia hesitated “…complicated.”
“Complicated how?”
“Just…” She struggled to voice the feelings she’d been dealing with over the last few days. “It’s been a long time since I’ve been in a serious relationship—not that this is serious, yet. But it could be, and since neither of us is getting any younger, it’s kind of on the table from the beginning, you know? It feels like there’s more at stake.”
“Yes,” Ellie answered slowly, “I can understand that. I felt a bit like that with Oliver, at the start. I had Abby to consider, and we were both from such different backgrounds…”
“I suppose it’s always complicated, isn’t it? I mean two people trying to make their lives work together… It’s never easy.”
“No, but this is the fun part, surely?” Ellie asked, concern crinkling her brow. “The getting-to-know-you part, that first rush of—of excitement?”
“Yes, that part’s lovely.” Although Simon still hadn’t kissed her, at least not properly. They’d had another awkward few moments at the door on Sunday night, shifting from foot to foot while they smiled uncertainly at one another before Simon leaned in and kissed her—on the cheek. His lips had been cool and soft and Olivia had been tempted—very tempted—to turn her face so their mouths collided. But she hadn’t, because Simon seemed determined to take things slow, at least in that regard, and she could respect that. She wasn’t some teenager to be slave to her hormones, although sometimes she felt like one.
“So what’s the not-easy part?” Ellie asked.
“I suppose I’m just a little scared,” Olivia admitted. “I haven’t had a lot of relationships. I haven’t really seen the point.”
“Why not?”
She shrugged, uncomfortable. “I never met someone who seemed worth the risk.”
“Ah, the risk.” Ellie nodded in understanding. “It’s so hard to put yourself out there when you’ve been hurt before.”
“But I haven’t been hurt before, not really,” Olivia protested. “I called off my most serious relationships, and the dates that petered out hardly scarred my soul.” Ellie gave her a funny look, as if Olivia was missing something obvious. “What?”
“It’s just…I would have thought…I mean your dad. His leaving. That surely left a mark on you?”
“My dad…” Olivia repeated, surprised. She never even thought about her dad. She never wondered about him, why he left, what he might be doing now. Her mum hadn’t told her much, just that it hadn’t worked out and they were better off, just the two of them. She’d been briskly practical about it all, and she’d shown Olivia a few photos of the man who had fathered her. There was one of the three of them at Christmas, sitting in front of a fireplace; another at Blackpool, the pewter-coloured sea stretching out behind them.
“He’s a good man, Olivia, but he wasn’t cut out to be a father. We’re fine as we are, aren’t we, love?” And Olivia had always assured her that they were.
“Olivia…?” Ellie prompted. “Sorry if I’m overstepping the mark. I just thought…that’s kind of a big thing, isn’t it? To have your dad walk out?”
“I suppose,” Olivia said, even as part of her thought, yes, of course it is. A very big deal. Yet she’d never acted as if it was, never felt the need to work through issues of rejection or abandonment. “It must seem strange to you, but I’ve never really thought about it. I was always happy with Mum and me, and I couldn’t even remember
