“Sure. But I’m not sure if I can get through to him.” He shrugs.
“Well, all you can do is give it a try. And I haven’t seen you work in forever.”
“Okay then. Have you had breakfast yet?” At the shake of my head, he continues, “In that case, have a seat and I’ll make some scrambled eggs and toast.”
Warmth floods my system at his show of caring, something I don’t experience all that often. Someone taking care of me feels good.
I take a seat on a barstool on the other side of the island while he walks to the fridge to grab the ingredients, all the while this weird happy feeling warms my insides.
***
The minute my father leads Lucifer into the round pen he has set up on one side of the arena, I know this isn’t going to work. Gaining Lucifer’s trust won’t come easy, and I’m not sure Wayne is prepared to put in the work required right now. He might not have the time.
“Motherfucker,” Wayne is standing in the middle of the round pen, panting, while Lucifer keeps running the perimeter. “He’s one stubborn boy.”
“He just needs time,” I say. “I have a feeling once he trusts you, he’ll be your best one yet.”
“It’s just looking like it’s going to take a lot longer than I anticipated. I don’t have a lot of time to spare, especially with calving season coming up.”
I watch Lucifer as he comes to a stop in front of where I’m standing. “He’ll be worth it though.” Just when I say this Lucifer turns toward me and presses his nose against the wall of the temporary round pen they set up for the winter.
I close the distance between us and scratch him underneath the chin, something he seems to enjoy.
“It’s impressive how attached he’s become to you after such a short time,” I hear from behind Lucifer.
“We relate to each other, don’t we, handsome?”
Wayne clears his throat like he’s nervous. “I really hope you’ll agree to work with him once you’re better.”
I freeze at his suggestion; I wasn’t sure if his suggestion last night was made in earnest or not. That would mean me staying past what is absolutely necessary and spending more time with him. Maybe dealing with my past could be beneficial.
“You sure?” I ask hesitantly.
“Yeah, I can’t think of anyone who’s better suited. You know what you’re doing. I taught you myself after all.” I can hear the smile in his voice. “And Lucifer likes you. It’s more than obvious he’ll respond to you. It’s questionable if I’ll be able to break through, and if I do, it’ll probably take me twice as long.”
I’m not ready to make promises I might not be able to keep. “I’ll think about it. I mean, who knows when I’ll be healthy enough to do it anyway.”
“Think about it.” I can hear my father move toward us, his movements slow and steady as to not spook Lucifer. Just in case, I grab hold of his halter to hopefully hold him in place, even though I don’t stand a chance should he decide he didn’t want to be caught. “But I know you,” he continues while he clips the lead onto the halter. “You won’t be able to resist the challenge. You’re just like me.”
It’s funny how words can shift your entire world view. I’ve always thought there’s only two people on this planet who knew the real me, all my flaws and mistakes from my past, but with two simple sentences my father destroyed that limited view I’ve had until now. Because he’s right. Despite avoiding making promises, I won’t be able to help myself. Lucifer presents a challenge I can’t ignore.
And the fact that he knows this, still, after all these years, threatens to eradicate all the hurt and confusion last night’s event caused.
Maybe he isn’t the person I thought he was either, just like his opinion of me isn’t a true representation of me.
I guess only time will tell.
Chapter Eight
4 weeks later…
The morning after my final doctor’s consultation clearing me for physical activity, I wake up feeling like myself for the first time in weeks. The pain in my shoulder is mostly gone—all that’s left is a little twinge whenever a muscle has to perform a task it hasn’t done in a while, but I’m sure physical therapy and exercise will cure that in no time.
As February turns into March, the weather hasn’t changed much, except the days are growing longer. Everything is still covered in snow, the air crisp and clean. But with the haze of the pain medication gone, I’ve been able to enjoy it, going for short walks, exploring my old playgrounds, reminiscing of happier times.
I’ve also come to terms that this visit might bring closure instead of healing what’s broken. My relationship with my father hasn’t changed much; we try to connect but besides horses we have nothing in common. And neither of us knows how to bridge the gap.
Lizzie, on the other hand, has been nothing short of amazing. She’s never shown an inkling of the dislike her nephew still harbors, instead she has taken care of me, whether I wanted her to or not, while recuperating from my injury. Making sure I take my medication and do my exercises once I was ordered to do so by the doctor and physical therapist. Hell, she even baked me chocolate chip cookies just because I mentioned I like them. And even though my interactions with Wayne are still slightly awkward, neither
