I make a face when I feel my stomach revolve. I'd been feeling sick for two days and wouldn't let myself eat. I've assimilated the lack of appetite for stress over the last few days. I even tried hard to eat a soup, but it came back the instant it hit the bottom of my stomach. Everything I tried to eat, either made myself sick, or I threw up minutes after eating the food. The night before, the strangest thing I could ever feel occurred. A chill took over my body and I felt such a strong dizziness that I almost fell unconscious. I almost fell to the ground. Thanks to a couple, who took care of me, avoiding the worst. She was worried about those symptoms and feared it was a viral disease, so she was determined to look for a doctor as soon as she arrived in New York. I had to sort out some issues before I moved to Boston, so I'd have to come back soon.
Taking the cell phone, I hear one more time, the messages left by Ryder. I wasn't ready to talk to him, despite the urgency in his voice. He seemed pretty worried. I didn't want to make him suffer, but Ryder should learn to deal with his actions. I was just talking to Jane, but not telling her where I was. If I knew her well, Jane would tell Ryder my whereabouts for the right price.
Another lightning strike through the sky, making me jump. Leaving the balcony, I close the glass door and cover it with the curtains. A knock on the door makes me frown.
- I wonder who that is. - I whisper, walking to the door. - I don't remember asking for anything!
Maybe it was a mistake, so I open the door with a nice smile, ready to dismiss any employee from the floor.
- Oh, thank God!
My heart races the instant I run into Ryder. He was wearing a leather jacket, jeans and sneakers. His expression was one of relief.
- Ryder? What are you doing here? - I ask you, appalled. - How did you find me?
- Your phone has a tracker. It wasn't hard for Casey to find her. - he says, folding his arms. - Besides, Boston's a little obvious.
Ryder laughs, but I ignore your sexy dimples.
- What do you want? - I whisper, with a tired voice.
- May I come in? - he asks. - We need to talk.
Snorting, I turn my eyes and make a gesture to get him in. Ryder looks around and, walking to one of the armchairs in the center of the suite, he places the backpack he is carrying on his shoulders. He sighs, putting one hand on his forehead. I close the door and stand still. Keeping a safe distance, I twist my fingers nervously. Ryder's presence affected me greatly.
- I've been imagining this moment all the way here. - he says, laughing nervously. - I even made a speech.
- You're terrible at speaking.
- That's why I wrote every word, but now, seeing you in front of me, I'm not sure how to start.
- How about the beginning? - I mean, shrugging. - You can read it if you think it'll be more comfortable.
Ryder settles down, then takes a piece of paper out of his jacket. He tries to start reading, but he hesitates and breathes deeply.
- You know what? Reading this will seem banal and empty, so I'll try to be as clear and direct as possible.
- Okay. Okay.
- Brooke, I love you! - he says, making me roll my eyes out. - I love you and it's not because I need your forgiveness. I really love you.
Ryder gets close to me, while still staring at me. His penetrating gaze does not allow me to turn my eyes away and I remain still, surprised by the statement.
- I know that what I did was a big stupid thing and you were right in every word of it, but I just realized, the moment you left that restaurant.
- You could have realized before you offended me and poured all your anger on me. - I mean ironically, making Ryder snort.
- All right! All right! I'm an idiot! - he says, sighing. Ryder passes one of his hands through his hair nervously and puts them in his trouser pockets. - I shouldn't have said those things. If you give me one more chance, I'll spend the rest of my life asking for forgiveness.
To my surprise, he kneels before me and looks at me seriously.
- Please, Brooke! Forgive me for your idiot! For hurting her so cruelly! - he says, with his hands together and voice full of affliction. - You were the only one who could fix my heart. Before you, I was hollow. You fill every space of my life like a ray of sunshine. I don't want to live without you.
- Ryder?
I call his name trying to interrupt him, but he keeps going.
- Brooke, don't leave me, please! - he goes on. - Since you left, my life has been a living hell. You have no idea how worried I was. Those two days, it felt like two years...
- Ryder, will you stop talking? - I'll shoot you. - I'm not gonna break up with you.
- No? - he
