“How’s Noah?” Tank asked.
“She’s orderin’ me around, so she’s back to her old self.”
The lads snorted.
“How are you dickheads?” I looked around the room. “Families all good?”
I got a chorus of “yes”, which pleased me, and they all began to talk over one another.
I glanced around at each man and found myself thinking of the times I’d spent with them. Losing my sister, and almost losing Noah, had made me sit back and reflect on the life I’d led over the past few years. There were many drunken nights in clubs and pubs that had ended with me having meaningless sex with women whose faces blurred together, and for a long time I’d thought that was what I was living for: the bliss of a night out and the company of an unknown, willing woman to force the hurt I felt from my heart and mind.
I looked at my friends as they spoke about something their wives had done that was funny or how their babies had had a nappy explosion at three in the morning, and my priorities suddenly shifted. I listened to their stories and saw the happiness on their faces as they spoke, and things I was once scared about didn’t seem scary any more. Marrying Noah had terrified me because I was scared that our relationship would end like my parents’ had, but I realised that my and Noah’s relationship wasn’t like my parents’, or her parents’, or anyone else’s.
It was entirely unique to us, and the comparisons I’d once made suddenly held no merit.
The realisation of this was like being doused in ice water. What now seemed like such a trivial thing to be scared of had changed my entire life for the worse. At the time it was such a massive struggle for me, but in this moment, being surrounded by my friends, it felt like a blindfold had been removed and I could see things clearly again. For the first time in a long time, my thought process wasn’t dominated by fear of the unknown, heartache from my break-up or the pain of losing my sister.
The idea of marrying Noah and her having my children was something I could envision . . . it was something I wanted.
“I’m glad Noah is back to her old self, Eli,” AJ said. “She’s helping you massively by keeping your mind focused.”
On something other than my sister being dead, he meant.
“Yeah,” I agreed. “Everythin’ has changed with her back in me life. Things aren’t bleak any more. I have somethin’ to look forward to when I go to see her every day. Even though what happened the night of the accident is constantly on me mind along with Bailey, Noah is front and centre because I can actually do somethin’ to help her.”
I wished I could snap my fingers and get to the bottom of that night, but the key factor in that was Noah’s memory. She might possibly never get it back, and what happened the night Bailey died would forever remain a mystery. I wasn’t going to give up though – I’d promised my sister that I’d find out what happened, and I would.
“When are you gonna tell her that Bailey died? She has to be asking all sorts of questions.”
“She is,” I answered Tank. “She’s doin’ well but her brain is so fragile still. If I tell her about Bailey it might . . . it might kill her. She’ll blame herself. I know she will.”
“Christ.” Pretty scratched his neck. “Poor girl is going through it.”
“Yeah,” I agreed. “She’s stuck on her differences now too, which sucks.”
“What d’you mean?”
“She’s really upset about her body. In her last memory she was slim, and now she has weight on her. I hope she doesn’t linger on it because I’m fine with how she looks. When I was helpin’ her shower and she bent over, I was glad her arse got fatter. Christ, I could have cried.”
“Hold up.” Texas sat upright. “You helped her in the shower. She was naked?”
“She was showerin’,” I deadpanned. “Of course she was naked.”
“Rewind.” AJ held his hand up. “She has a fractured leg . . . how did she get naked?”
“I undressed her.” At the widened eyes and happy smiles I received, I shook my head, laughing. “It wasn’t like how you’re all thinkin’. She said she needed me to help her, not the nurse. I didn’t touch her, but the way she looked at me may as well have been strokes to me cock. I thought me balls were goin’ to explode.”
Snickers filled the room.
“Sounds to me like she was trying to get some.” Pretty grinned, waggling his brows.
“She was,” I laughed. “She wants me, she told me she loves me.”
“Mate,” AJ said with a smile. “That’s brilliant.”
“Yeah . . . until she gets her memories back.”
“She’s been awake almost two weeks now and hasn’t had so much as a flashback.” AJ looked at me pointedly. “Don’t be worrying so much. She wants you; you want her. Stop making it complicated.”
“It is complicated though,” Tank chimed in. “She’s married.”
Like I could forget that important detail.
“Yep,” I sighed. “That prick is never far from me mind.”
“She can’t remember the man.” AJ shrugged. “She’s fair game in my book.”
“I’m not sympathising with the man ’cause I know he’s a wanker,” Pretty said. “However, if it were my wife in Noah’s position, and her ex knew good and well she was mine, and he was still trying it on with her . . . I’d kill him.”
“Me too,” Tank and Stitch said in unison.
I scrubbed my face with my hands.
“I don’t care about him,” I stated. “I care about Noah. I already kissed her senseless, but I won’t let it get that far. If she does get her memories back, I want to have a fightin’ chance with her. I don’t want to take advantage of the fact that her mind is stuck in the past when she loved me.”
There was a moment of silence, then Pretty clapped
