“Wasn’t it? You know how I feel about you and you have no intentions of us being anything more than what we’ve already been.” Sandy angrily swiped at her tears, “So, what do you want me to say to make you feel better? You want me to say its okay for you to come here and be with me because you needed a release? Well, it’s…NOT…okay!”
“Sandy…I care about you and I’m not trying to hurt you! I’m doing my best to…”
She laughed, “You care about me…really? Is that why you’re seeing April? You just let her walk back into your life with no thought whatsoever how it would affect me. As a matter of fact, where is she tonight? Why didn’t you go to her instead of me?”
Silence. There was nothing Franklin could say to explain why he needed to be with her tonight…and not April. Sandy was pure passion. She didn’t understand that you can’t depend on that and that alone to sustain a relationship. At some point, it wouldn’t be enough and what would happen then? Would she want to leave him? Would she try to make him angry enough to hit her like his father beat his mother? No, he cared about her too much and wouldn’t risk it.
He reached for his discarded pants and put them on, “I should go.” He picked up the rest of his things as he walked towards her bedroom door. Franklin stopped for a moment before turning around, “I’m sorry I hurt you. You don’t deserve it...you deserve so much more.”
Sandy watched his retreating back as he walked further and further away. It wasn’t until she’d heard the front door close behind him that she realized the wounded small animal sound she heard was her own voice.
Chapter 18
The lump in Jason’s throat felt like a boulder as he stood alone outside of Vicky’s hospital room. He sent everyone else home. He and Vicky needed this time all to themselves. He’d been pacing back and forth for more than fifteen minutes. With closed eyes and a bowed head, he pinched the space between his eyes and nose. Water continued to escape and slide down his face.
He had no idea what he was going to say to Vicky since she didn’t know about the baby yet. How do you tell your wife your child is gone when you can’t believe it yourself? He prayed God gave him the strength to tell her about their baby boy without losing it.
After taking a deep breath, Jason finally walked into the room. Vicky was sleeping and looked…peaceful. He sat down next to her and kissed her forehead.
He whispered mostly to himself “Baby, I’m so sorry. I should not have left you alone. I’m so so sorry.”
Jason reached for Vicky’s hand and held it tight all night long.
The next morning, Vicky woke up to find Jason sleeping in a chair next to her but slumped over so that his head was occupying a spot close to her stomach. Their hands were intertwined.
When Vicky went to move his hair back, she sucked in a deep breath because of a sharp pain in her abdomen.
The movement woke Jason up. He must have dozed off because he hadn’t slept much all night.
The memories of the night before came flooding back and Vicky started to panic.
“Jason. Jason, I can’t feel the baby moving inside of me. I can’t feel anything.”
Vicky could see in Jason’s blood shot eyes that something was devastatingly wrong. She prayed silently for god not to have taken her baby away.
He quickly stood up and cradled her in his arms “Shhh…be still you’ll hurt yourself.”
“I don’t care! Why can’t I feel anything? Please, call the doctor or nurse! I have to make sure my baby’s okay.”
“Honey please…” Jason’s voice gave out.
She took her head out his arms to look him in the eye. With tears streaming down her face she shook her head.
“No! Why aren’t you calling the doctor? I’ll call him myself.”
Vicky tried to reach for the help button but Jason managed to cover her hands with his before she could press it.
He could barely get the words out “There is no more baby, Vicky.”
“Don’t…don’t say that! Just call the doctor. They can fix this!”
Jason held her tighter. “Not this time. They can’t fix this…I can’t fix this. Our son fought hard but he didn’t make it.”
Vicky’s scream didn’t sound human. It was deep and guttural. Jason understood it because he felt the pain too. All he could do was just rock her back and forth as she let the pain flow from her body.
Chapter 19
The flowers in the garden always seemed to give Vicky a small sense of peace. She sat in the middle of it on a swing surrounded by all the colorful blooms. Being out in the sunshine surrounded by such beauty sometimes worked to dull the ache in her heart. However, some days she wasn’t even sure how she managed to get out of bed.
It had been a little over a month since they’d lost her little boy, Jason Kincaid Rutherford, Jr. The loss had been hard on everybody, especially, Jason.
The emergency custody hearing had to be postponed because of it. It was rescheduled for the next three weeks. The prying eyes of strangers trying to pull back the curtain of her life during this time was just too much.
Vicky was lost in her thoughts so she didn’t hear Sandy when she approached and sat down next to her.
“I can’t get over how beautiful this garden is.”
“Mmm…yes it is. When did you get in?”
“My plane got in a couple of hours ago. But, I’ve been
