It suited Jessie to remain in the friend zone because of the fullness of the friendship. Brian offered support, encouragement, and everything you’d expect a partner to provide. Maybe the question she should be asking is not when she became attracted to him, but when did she decide she was ready to elevate the friendship to something more.
Who was she kidding? Brigitte had everything to do with this. Jessie was threatened by that relationship, and it had her acting out of character. Gray was right about her and men. She should have just tried to be honest and talk to Brian about her feelings. Instead, she tried to seduce one of her best friends knowing in the back of her mind that he was involved in a relationship. She should be ashamed of herself. He didn’t deserve that. He’d wanted her physically, but it was obvious from his reaction he was shocked, confused, and regretted it as soon as it happened.
Jessie felt sick to her stomach and abruptly stop running. She bent over to touch her knees and catch her breath. Not because she was winded but because she had just realized how important Brian had become in her life, and she’d just tried to manipulate him. Jessie inhaled deeply. She hoped she could make it up to him.
After looking at her watch she’d been gone over an hour. What happened to the time? She didn’t mean to run this far. It was time to head back. Jessie had gotten what she wanted out of this run—clarity. Sometimes she didn’t come to the conclusions she’d desired, but it always gave Jessie better direction. She would follow Brian’s lead. If he only wanted her as a friend, then she would bury her feelings and be the best friend she could be…and apologize.
*****
When Jessie arrived back to the house everyone was up. She just wanted to hide out in her room. It was childish and not an option, but she needed to give herself a little more time. A shower was a good excuse, and with all the sweat dripping from her body she definitely needed one. Of course, she ran into a well-rested and observant Téa as soon as she walked through the door.
“Hey, I was looking for you this morning. It took me a minute to figure out you were out running. I thought today was a yoga day? Anyway, was it a good run?”
“I like to switch it up every now and again. The flight was so long I just felt like a run, and it was a good one.”
“You…switch things up? That’s a joke right? I’ve never met a more disciplined person in my life.”
“Téa, I’m super sweaty. I’m just going to head up and take a quick shower.” Jessie felt raw and not ready to discuss her emotions with anyone and started up the steps.
“Are you sure you’re ok? You tend to go running when you have something on your mind. I know today is the nine-year anniversary but you’ll get through it.”
Jessie stopped in mid-step and turned around with a horrified look on her face. She whispered, “I forgot.”
Téa’s eyes widened in surprise. “Jessie, I’m so sorry. It’s ok.”
Jessie hurried up the stairs with tears streaming down her face. How could she forget? What the hell was wrong with her? She passed Michael as she went into her room and closed the door. He saw the distress on her face. Téa was right on Jessie’s heels. She knocked on the door.
“Jessie, please let me inside.”
Jessie called out through the door, “I’m fine. I just need a shower. Give me twenty, and I’ll be down, ok?”
Reluctantly, Téa decided to give her some time alone. “Okay.”
Michael looked so confused, “Téa what’s wrong? Is she alright? Did you two fight?”
Téa pinched the bridge of her nose, “She’s fine, and no we didn’t fight. This is just a hard time of year for her. Can we talk about this later?”
Michael wanted to talk about it now but he’d learned by now that Téa wouldn’t do anything until she was ready to do it. So instead, he just pulled her into his arms and kissed her forehead. “Ok, we’ll talk later.”
They headed down the stairs while Jessie shed silent tears in private.
Several minutes later, Jessie was still leaning against the door for support because all of her energy was gone. How could she have forgotten? She whispered to her dead family, “I’m so sorry.” She’d never forgotten an anniversary before. The guilt was almost unbearable.
A half hour later, Jessie still hadn’t come down from the bedroom. Téa kept looking up at the stairs from the library waiting for Jessie to come down.
Brian walked into the library just as Michael was voicing his concern, “Ok, Téa, what the hell is going on? Your eyes have been glued to those stairs waiting for Jessie to come down, and she was clearly upset. Something is really off and I want to know what it is.”
Brian hoped that it wasn’t about last night. He would never purposely hurt Jessie. “Maybe, I should go talk to her.”
Michael caught the guilty look on his brother’s face.
Téa stood up, “No! I’m sorry Brian. I didn’t me to yell at you. It’s just that this time of year is really difficult for her. I’d hope time would heal her but…” her voice trailed off. I’m going to go up and check on her.
Chapter 13
Téa went up to check on Jessie and Michael closed the library door behind her. “Ok…What’s going on Brian? Last night when Téa and I walked in here I could tell something was up. Did you do something to Jessie?”
Brian couldn’t look Michael in the eyes and nervously rubbed his chin. “I…I…Didn’t mean to. I love her
