Jenny looked to the heavens, “I don’t know how the kids would fare without me. Daniel wouldn’t know the first thing to do.”
There was so much he could have said but Tim decided to just let the remark pass. Instead, he looked around the room. “I like what you’ve done to this room. It’s nice.”
“It’s my favorite room in the whole house. Right around this time, the sunlight shines at just the right angle through that window and if I sit in the chair you sitting in, it makes me feel…a certain sense of peace that can be difficult to find.”
“Hmm. Peace, now that’s an interesting concept.”
Jenny held a sadness in her eyes, “Aww…big brother when you find it there is nothing else like it. Unfortunately, sometimes that chair is the only place I can find it.”
“Can I ask you a question?”
“Yes. Of course, you can ask me anything.”
“If that’s the case and after everything you’ve been through with Daniel, why don’t you just leave him?”
“You don’t know how many times I’ve asked myself that same question. And, I keep coming back to the same answer. He’s the father of my children but more importantly…I still love him.”
Tim took a deep breath, “I guess love and arrogance can make you do some crazy things. Craig told me some things about myself a few years ago and at the time I thought he was crazy. But, the more I think about it, the more I’ve come to realize he was right.”
Jenny knew that Tim was about to share some of his inner thoughts. It was a glimpse inside of her strong and powerful brother that she rarely got to see. She touched his arm to let him know his thoughts were safe with her. “Right about what?” She waited patiently for him to go on.
After a few more moments of silence, he spoke. “Craig once told me that I was attracted to beautiful things and because I never looked below the surface that would always get me in trouble. He was right.”
“We all like beautiful things, Tim. So, how exactly was Craig right?”
“On the outside my life looks perfect. It looks like I have all the things I’ve ever wanted. Only I’ve come to realize that all the things I thought I wanted, isn’t what I really wanted all.”
Jenny spoke softly, “Is this about Sabrina?”
Tim didn’t answer one way or the other. He knew that to say his sister and Sabrina’s relationship was strained was an understatement. Even though he knew the marriage was over, he still almost felt as if it was a betrayal to say as much as he already had.
“I know that she and I don’t always see eye to eye on a lot of things. But, one thing I hope we have in common is our love for you.”
“I’m not sure that is something you two have in common.”
Jenny’s hand moved from his arm to cup the side of his face. “I’m not sure what has happened in your marriage but whatever it is…the answer is always to forgive each other. You’ll find that in order for your relationship to survive you will have to learn to forgive.”
“What if you just don’t care?”
“Well, it depends because sometimes I don’t care either. It’s no secret that I’ve had to forgive Daniel a lot. And, I know you all think I’m crazy for staying with him and maybe I am just a tad bit crazy. But, I think marriage is supposed to be forever. Or, at least until you know that you’ve done everything you can to make the marriage work. And, there are moments where I care too much.”
“I want to be able to lay in bed with my wife at least a couple of nights a week and just watch a tv show. To hold her in my arms and feel like there’s no place I’d rather be. Sometimes, it’s the little things. I’ve also come to realize that she’s not the woman I really want to hold in my arms at night.”
“I think all relationships go through their down periods. If you hold on long enough you’ll get back to happy.”
Tim shook his head, “No. I don’t think so. I want a family.” Tim wouldn’t tell his sister that he thought Sabrina had already secretly terminated his child. He was just waiting for confirmation from Felix.
“Have you talked to her about this?”
“Not lately. However, I’ve tried to talk to her in the past. Her idea to placate me was to keep me occupied with Tasha.”
The corners of Jenny’s mouth crept up a little, “Tasha and I got off on wrong foot when we met. She’s definitely a loyal friend. But, we’ve since gotten to know each other a little better. I like her. She’s nice. Why couldn’t you have chosen her? I’ve often wondered what she and Sabrina had in common. They seem so different.”
Tim rubbed his hand down his face and dropped his head. “They are. Tasha’s pretty amazing.”
Understanding was starting to dawn on Jenny. She spoke slowly, “Exactly how much time have you spent with Tasha?”
He sighed deeply, “In the last year, we’ve rarely spent any time together. But, before that too much.”
She whispered, “You didn’t?”
He didn’t answer at first. His eyes answered for him. “I did. And, I would do it again if she’d have me. I’ve done everything in my power to suppress my feelings, but…I’m pretty sure I’ve fallen in love with her.”
“What about Sabrina?”
“My marriage was a mistake. I was
