“So, why are you?”
“I promised Tasha that I would try to make my marriage work. The problem is even if I weren’t in love with her…I would still want a divorce. I don’t feel anything for Sabrina. Not even anger or frustration. I don’t feel anything.”
“Then, why did you promise her that?”
“At the time, I couldn’t stand to see the hurt, shame, and guilt on her face. I knew she would feel responsible for the demise of my marriage.”
“Well, she did sleep with her best friend’s husband. I would say that would count as having a small bit of responsibility.”
“It wasn’t like that. We didn’t plan for it to happen. My marriage to Sabrina would have crumbled anyway. I don’t think I was ever truly in love with her.”
Jenny rolled her eyes, “If I had a dollar for every time Daniel has said that to me, we’d be able to buy a third world country. I know that you’re hurting and I’m not trying to rub salt in the wound, but what the hell, Tim? You’re a handsome man and could probably have any woman you wanted yet, you chose to sleep with her best friend.”
“Jenny I swear, I didn’t see this coming. I’ve never been unfaithful to anyone I’ve ever been in a committed relationship with in my life. It’s just…we kept being put in these situations where we were able to really get to know each other. I don’t even remember the moment it turned into anything else. I just remember one day we were having a snow ball fight and I wanted to kiss her.”
“Did you?”
“No.”
“This is really a mess.”
“I know. But, I came to you because you’ve been through a lot in your marriage. Yet, you continue to try to make it work. I was hoping you would say something that would make me rethink everything.”
“Did I?”
“Yes. You actually helped provide me with some clarity. I don’t understand why you love him but you’re with Daniel because you do. What I felt for Sabrina wasn’t love. It was lust pure and simple. Lust won’t sustain a marriage.”
The sound of cries coming from the baby monitor interrupted their conversation. Jenny pulled Tim into a tight embrace and held him for a few seconds before she went to go get the baby, “I’ll support you no matter what. You know that right? I love you.”
“I love you too.”
Chapter 23
It wasn’t often that Tasha came home early from work, but after her weekend she just couldn’t handle a full day on Monday. Eric would be at work and that would give her time to get herself together.
His excuse for what happened between them over the weekend was that he’d had too much to drink. Eric could be insensitive, but Friday night’s episode hurt her to her core.
The guilt she carried for not truly being able to love him kept her from ending the relationship. If she tried harder maybe things would be different.
She and Eric hadn’t spoken much since Friday, but she did tell him that if their relationship was going to survive, they would need to get some counseling.
Tasha put the key into her door and opened it. She was more than surprised to find boxes strewn all over the place. She was even more surprised to see Eric walk out of the bedroom carrying a box.
“What’s going on? What are you doing?”
“The inevitable.”
“I thought we agreed to get some help?”
Eric put the box down, “Come on Tasha, do you really think counseling is going to help us?”
“It might. Shouldn’t we at least try?”
“Tasha, we’ve spent more than three years pretending that this relationship is what we both want. I don’t know about you but I’m tired of pretending.”
Tasha sat down on the couch, “I didn’t know you were pretending.”
“Strange, because I knew you were. A man can tell when he touches his woman when she doesn’t want to be touched. Or, pretending he’s someone else.”
“Eric, I wasn’t…”
He shook his head, “Don’t. Don’t lie because honestly there were times when I was pretending that you were someone else too.”
Tasha didn’t know what to say.
“Look, I’m tired of being angry. I’m tired of all of it. I want to be happy and I haven’t been for a long time. One of us has to be honest about what’s really going on between us.”
She still couldn’t say anything. Her silence seemed to make Eric more frustrated. “I didn’t expect you to come home this early today. I’d hoped to have all of this done before you got here.” Eric put his hands on his hips, “You know…I think it’ll probably be best if I finish up tomorrow.”
Eric walked over to where he’d put a couple of duffle bags and picked them up. “I’ll call you later so we can sort out the other stuff.” He then walked toward the door but stopped and turned around,
“Tasha…if it weren’t for him we may have stood a chance. I’ve seen the way he looks at you and I’ve seen the way you look at him. You might want to think about trying to figure that out before you get involved with someone else.” Eric let his words hang in the air for a second or two before he walked out of the door.
*****
Tasha hadn’t been able to put together one
