There’s no way we’ll be able to make it out to our house and back into town before the doctor’s office closes. Instead I suck up my pride and call the person who’s never fully on my side of things when it comes to me and Mandy.
“Law office of Charity Walker. Can I help you?”
“Tate, it’s Dalton. I don’t know if you or Charity could help me, but Walker’s sick and I need to get him to the doctor.”
“Let me guess,” she sighs. “You don’t know who the doctor is.”
It sounds so shitty coming from her, especially since she’s so much younger. But those women, they are thick as fuckin’ thieves and it’s hard to break into their clique. I’m sure Mandy’s told them everything about me at some time or another, which is why I get looks of irritation from the female side of the family when we’re all together.
That’s fine though, I bitch about Mandy to her brother. It’s what we do.
“You’re absolutely right. I don’t know the number or the doctor.”
I can hear her flipping through things on the desk, she’s probably making a big spectacle of this for my sake, pretending to look. Knowing her she has the damn number memorized.
“Do you want me to come and get him?” She cuts through my thoughts. “I’ve taken him to the doctor before.”
“No.” My voice is strong. “I can do this, I just need some help.”
So did Mandy. The words are mumbled, almost so low I can’t hear them, but I know she wants me to, and maybe I deserve it.
“Look, I don’t need shit from you right now, Tatum. I have a sick son, and I’m asking you for a little bit of help.”
The words come across way snottier than I mean for them to, but I’m on my last leg here. All I need is for someone to show me the way.
“It’s Dr. Pendergrass. He’s on Scottsville Road near the Steak N’ Shake. Good luck, Dalton, you’re gonna need it.”
“Thank y-” But she’s already hung up.
“Sometimes they can be mean.” I hear Walker beside me.
“Yeah, sometimes they can be, but they do it out of love for each other.”
“The way Justice and Harley can be mean to each other, but no one else can be?”
“Exactly,” I laugh thinking of my two nieces.
“I was looking forward to that,” Walker whispers. “You know, when I was going to have a brother or sister.”
It’s sobering, hearing him talk about it. Our son is notoriously tight-lipped. He gets it from both of us, and I never thought he’d need to talk about losing a sibling he never knew, but maybe he does.
“It’s okay to be sad about it.” I reach over, ruffling his hair as I search for the phone number to the doctor’s office. “You know you can talk to me about it whenever you need to.”
“I didn’t know that.” He shakes his head. “I tried to talk to Mom about it a couple of times.”
“Mom was having a hard time, but she’s getting better now.”
“Is she?” he questions as I dial the number.
I wish I knew and could give him the right answer. Isn’t that what we always want? The right answers for our kids? So they don’t have to worry about shit anymore? I feel like this kid has been worrying since he was born.
“She is, and when she comes back, we’re gonna do a lot more as a family.”
I’m seeing the error of my ways, letting all the outside influences get into the marrow of our family, when really I’m no better of a father than my own was.
“Dr. Pendergrass’ office, how can I help you?”
“Yeah, I’m Walker Barnett’s Dad…”
By the time I’m off the phone with the doctor’s office, we have an appointment and I have a headache. I never realized how much work this is, and how much Mandy took upon herself. No wonder she couldn’t seem to get out of her own head these last few months.
“Dad?”
“Yeah.” I’m gripping the steering wheel, trying to pay attention to the drivers acting like this is the first time they’ve ever seen snow. I swear to God, licenses should be tested under all conditions, including rain.
“Am I going to be like Mom?”
His question hits me right in the chest. I can’t give him an answer because I don’t know. We’re still not sure what’s going on with Mandy. Could it be something hereditary? Could it be a chemical imbalance? The fact is, we aren’t sure yet.
“You could be,” I answer truthfully. “But I promise you, I won’t sit back and let you try to handle shit on your own, the way I’ve let her try to handle it on her own. I know what to look for, and I promise you, you won’t be lost.”
“She’s been lost.” He swallows hard as he looks up at me.
“We’ve all been, buddy, but we’re gonna find our way back. Together.”
“You promise?”
“With everything I have.”
Chapter Four
Dalton
I don’t think I’ve ever felt more inadequate as a father, than right now. Standing in this line of parents waiting to get registered in order to be seen is trying my patience. People aren’t being polite, and Walker is burning up.
A couple minutes into this stand-off we’ve got going on, he hugged himself to me and hasn’t let go yet. He’s on fucking fire. I’m about at the end of my rope when the woman at the front of the line starts making a fuss about paying a fifteen-dollar copay.
Normally, I’m the cool one and Drew is the hothead, but I wear my VP patch proudly. “Look, lady, if it’ll get you to move your ass, I’ll pay your damn copay. There’s other people with sick kids here.”
Everyone turns, eyeing not only me, but Walker, and my cut. It’s not very often I use it to my advantage, but today I stand to my full height and let them look their fill. She doesn’t say anything else,
