Aching for him in a way she’d never known, she watched his yellow shirt disappear into the spruce. She leaned back on the birch, slid to the ground, and drew her knees to her chest. She wept…tears for not saving Dad. Tears for the old man she couldn't save. Tears for Travis abandoning her and now he was dead. Yes, she had loved him, or thought she did.
But Ryan was in her life now and she missed his reassuring presence. He had tossed her a lifeline by making plans with her after fire season. Now she had something to look forward to. His going to the trouble to fly up here just to deliver the news about her ex only proved that he did care about her.
But what hit home were the perils of smokejumping. The fears Tara had whenever Travis had jumped a fire. When she broke off the engagement, she remembered feeling relieved at not having to bury those closet fears anymore. Fears that no one dared talk about in fire.
And now, those fears had wormed their way back. She’d have to learn how to force them down to the basement of her psyche all over again. If something happened to Ryan…she couldn’t go there.
They each promised the other to stay safe.
After all…a promise was a promise.
That night, Tara and the Aurora Crew feasted on fresh steak and potatoes, air-dropped earlier from AFS. The exhausted crew lingered around the cooking coals, complimenting Silva on their fantastic steaks. Jon took pride in his gourmet cooking skills.
“Thanks folks. Glad you enjoyed your bad-ass steaks. Later, boys and girls, I’m beat.” He started for his tent, then stopped next to Tara. “You’ve been wanting to talk to me. Sorry to put you off again, but can you stop by later? Got to clean up and do some paperwork first.”
“Sure.” Tara looked up at him. She couldn’t help but notice Jon’s flattering profile in the twilight. If not for Ryan, she may have been tempted to respond to his friendly flirtations.
The Afi Slayers squad and the women sat on logs around the cooking circle. Tara enjoyed their company after bonding as a squad in Chinook. They approved of her leadership and she’d earned their respect. That meant the world to her.
“Too bad about Hudson. Goes to show, you gotta be careful in the black. People assume everything in the black is safe.” Tupa munched a leftover steak, his massive hand holding it like a cookie.
“Why did Hudson say you pushed him in? That’s a helluva thing.” Bateman spit on his glasses and rubbed the lenses with his kerchief.
“No idea. He was in shock, I guess.” Tara rose, giving Liz and Angela an urgent look. “Ladies, time to head to the latrine. Good night, everyone.”
“Good night, ladies,” said Tupa.
The others said good night as they rose and retired to their tents for the night.
“Okay, spill,” ordered Angela, as the three women hurried up the path toward the women’s latrine.
“Is Ryan working this fire?” asked Liz.
“No. He made a special trip here to tell me Travis was killed jumping a fire in Idaho. Ryan knew him and thought he should tell me in person.”
“I’m so sorry,” gasped Angela. “I wouldn’t have called him a nutless weasel if I’d known he’d be kicking the bucket.”
Tara forced a smile. “Just because a person dies doesn’t make them a saint.”
“It’s still a bitter blow. If you’d married him, you’d be a widow now. Either way, you would have lost him.”
“True.” Tara watched a helicopter hovering to land.
“Ryan came all the way up here to tell you about Travis?” Liz put a hand to her heart. “How romantic. No guy has ever done anything like that for me.”
“Romantic?” Tara raised her brows.
“Your new heart throb travels miles to tell you in person—on a fire no less, that the man you once intended to marry died on a fire. And the weird thing is, they knew each other. This reminds me of the Spielberg movie about firefighting and the air tanker pilot in love with Audrey Hepburn.” Angela pulled a wipe from her pocket to dab her eyes.
“Always,” Tara smiled at her crew mate.
“Always what?” sniffled Angela.
“That’s the name of the movie. Always.”
“Except the tanker pilot isn’t in love with Audrey Hepburn. He’s in love with Holly Hunter,” said Liz.
“And they danced to Smoke Gets in Your Eyes,” purred Angela.
Liz continued. “He’s dead, but loves her so much he saves her life, so she can fall in love with the hot air-tanker pilot.”
“Brad Johnson,” sighed Tara. “Always was Mom and Dad’s cult film. Believe me, I was amazed that Ryan came all the way up here to tell me about Travis.”
“I knew from the git-go he was into you,” said Angela.
“It was meant to happen,” Liz said matter-of-factly.
Angela gave Tara a coy look. “Is it too soon for the “L” word?”
Tara’s cheeks heated. “Way too soon.” Or was it?
They reached the ladies’ tarped shower area and ducked inside. Tara made sure they were alone. The women grouped in a circle while Angela pawed through her toiletry bag for a brush.
“Okay, why did you go to HR this morning? I’ve been in suspense all day.” Angela bent to brush her hair.
“Hudson threatened me last night.” The words sounded foreign, even as she said them.
Angela tossed her head up, wide-eyed. “When? What did he do?”
“Last night on my way to the latrine, he wouldn’t let me pass. He said we could have some fun and said what a shame if my face were to be messed up. Then he stole Dad’s bandana from my pocket.”
“Holy shit!” Liz threw her arms up. “Why couldn’t he stay in his tent and jerk off in his sleeping bag like a normal guy?”
Angela stared at Tara with fire in her eyes. “That’s a bona fide threat! If he were here, I would dangle his puny, little dick on a spruce tree for the bears.”
“I tried to report it this morning,
