That’s the problem, isn’t it?
It would be so much easier to keep my hands to myself if we had an audience.
But we don’t.
I get back into a fighting stance. Reluctantly, Sailor does the same, but I know her focus isn’t on the training anymore.
“Sailor. Focus,” I say.
She nods her head and her eyes narrow as she circles me. A loud crash comes from the warehouse door.
Dammit.
She was right and I dismissed her. How could I not hear someone or something watching us?
Sailor takes off. I am caught back-footed and she’s out the door before I can stop her. I run after her, shouting at her to stop but she ignores me. She runs into the woods, on the trail of who knows what. I up my pace, but she’s fast.
I finally catch up with her when she stops running.
“I lost him,” she says. “He vanished into the undergrowth and then he was just gone. All I saw was a flash of something. I don’t even know if it was a person or a demon.”
I ignore her panting explanation and grab her roughly by the top of her arms, turning her to face me.
“What the hell were you thinking running off half-cocked like that?” I demand.
“I was thinking that my leader was too distracted to go after the spy and find out what they wanted, so I did it myself,” she responds.
I release my grip on her.
“You could have gotten yourself killed,” I say, quieter now.
“Yeah, and then your reputation would have been ruined, right? The amazing Rye getting the Paradox killed on his watch.”
“What did you just say to me?” I demand.
My voice is ice as my heart freezes. How can Sailor not see what she does to me? How can she not know she’s so much more than just a mission to me?
“I said you’d fail the mission. That’s all you care about, isn’t it?” Sailor says. “You’d have to go back to Mensa with your tail between your legs instead of riding back on a wave of glory while I go back to my boring human existence. You can be the hero and forget I ever existed. That’s what you want, isn’t it?”
I shake my head. It’s the last thing I want.
“I don’t think you get it,” I start.
“No Rye, you don’t get it,” she says with tears in her eyes. “I know there was something between us, but you weren’t willing to fight for us.”
Her voice comes out cracked and small. She sounds so broken.
“Why wasn’t I good enough for you to fight for? I’ve given up everything to do this and you…”
She’s still talking, but I’m not hearing her anymore. All I can hear is her asking me why she wasn’t good enough for me. Of course she’s good enough for me. Screw the gods, they’ll never have to know about Sailor and me. And screw the consequences. If they do find out, I’ll find a way to make them punish me instead of her.
I lean forward and slam my lips onto hers. Her words cut off as I pull her into my arms as finally I allow myself to give in and kiss the girl who has been driving me mad since the moment I first set eyes on her.
The kiss with Sailor is like nothing I’ve ever felt before. My whole body comes to life in ways I didn’t even know were possible. I mean don’t get me wrong, I’m far from a virgin, but I’ve never been around anyone that makes me feel the way Sailor does.
Kissing her was a mistake though. It leaves her father vulnerable, and I won’t risk it again. I just had to do it, just once. I had to know how her lips tasted, how they would feel against my own. And I had to show her that she means more to me than just a badge of honor.
Once I come to my senses, I pull back from Sailor.
“I’m sorry. It won’t happen again.”
“You’re damn right it won’t,” she spits back
Her words bite me like a poisonous snake. As the venom slowly moves through my subconscious, its weight drags me down more, letting me know Sailor probably hates me now. I know I hurt her even more by giving in for a second. As much as the thought of Sailor hating me hurts me, I know it’s for the best. If that’s how she feels about me, then we lose the risk of this ever happening again and her dad will be safe.
Sailor is quiet all through dinner, which her Dad sent over from the restaurant for us all. She barely eats anything and excuses herself after a couple minutes claiming she is tired. It’s clear the team can feel the awkwardness between us, but they wisely keep it to themselves.
I decide to have an early night myself. I can’t sit here and pretend everything’s okay. I just don’t have the energy for it.
“Aziza? Can I have a word?” I say.
She nods and follows me into the kitchen, leaving the others in the game room, gathered around the games console as they have some sort of tournament. I didn’t get the details. I don’t care what they’re playing.
“I need you to take over Sailor’s training,” I say.
She scoffs and I raise an eyebrow.
“Is that a problem?” I ask.
“Not for me. But it seems she’s causing quite the problem for you,” she replies. “She’s nothing special, Rye. For God’s sake just keep it in your pants. It’s not that hard you know.”
“You don’t know what you’re talking about,” I snap.
“Sure I don’t,” she sneers. “You managed it easily enough with me, didn’t you? Threw me away like trash after you got what you wanted. Just skip getting what you want and throw this ridiculous idea of you and Sailor away. That girl deserves better, Rye. I deserved better,” she says, looking away.
So that’s what this is about. Aziza is
