“I didn’t throw you away like trash, Az,” I say.
“Much,” she says. The acidic tone is gone and she sounds a little sad.
“I know it was only one night but I thought it was special, Rye. To me it was.”
I put my hand on her shoulder and wait until she looks up at me.
“And it was to me too. Az, you were there when I needed someone so badly I didn’t even know it. There are no doubts in my mind that you literally saved my life that night. I’ll never forget that. It meant something to me. Really, it did.”
She smiles, a strange smile that I can’t read. She looks into my eyes for a moment, her expression softening. She gently takes my hand off her shoulder and squeezes it for a second.
“I’ll train Sailor,” she says. “At least this way I know she will get real training.”
***
I wake up early. Sailor has a training session with Sunday. The logical part of my brain tells me to stay away from it, but I have no intention of doing that. I intend to hang back in the shadows and watch her session. I need to take her in, to find a way to focus when she’s around, and I think it’ll be easier to get a handle on it if she doesn’t know I’m there.
By the time I shower and get dressed, Nexus has sent me a message telling me she needs to see me urgently. I really want to go to Sailor’s session, but for Nexus to summon me that way, I know she must have something important to tell me. She could have the location of the dagger.
I go downstairs and absently eat some cereal that I don’t taste while I wait for Nexus to arrive. Why does she have to make me wait like this? She drives me crazy at times. Mel comes into the kitchen, taking my mind off waiting.
“Where is everyone?” she asks.
“Grace is still working on the location of the dagger. Sunday and Sailor are training, and Aziza is prepping for a training session later on today. I have no idea where Jinx and Ya-Ya are.”
“Jinx is probably up to no good somewhere and Ya-Ya is probably off on Rodeo Drive or somewhere.” Mel grins.
I laugh softly.
“It wouldn’t surprise me,” I say.
“Ya-Ya was up half of the night last night trying to persuade Sailor to let her put highlights in her hair.” Mel grins.
“Good to know that Ya-Ya’s main concern is that Sailor looks good as she fights the horsemen,” I say, shaking my head.
“Honestly, I’d be more worried if that wasn’t her concern. It would mean she was off her game,” Mel says. “I’m going for a walk into town. See if I can spot anything suspicious. Want to join me?”
“I’m waiting for Nexus,” I say. “She might have something.”
Mel nods and heads out of the kitchen. She pauses at the door and looks back.
“For what it’s worth, I think you are exactly what Sailor needs and I think it’s shitty that the gods won’t let you two be together after everything you’ve both given up for this,” she says.
It seems that everyone thinks that except the gods. And maybe Aziza. There has to be some way around their archaic rules, but I’ll be damned if I can think what it is. Maybe Nexus can brew some sort of protection potion for Sailor’s dad.
Finally, after what feels like forever, Nexus appears in the kitchen doorway.
“Hey,” I say. “Do you have something for us?”
“I have something for you, Rye. A warning. Get your damn hormones in check before Sailor ends up paying the price.”
“What are you talking about?” I bluff.
“Don’t try that one on me, Rye. I know you two kissed. Luckily for you, I know more than the gods, but you got lucky this time. Next time, you might not be so lucky.”
“There won’t be a next time, will there? They’ve made damn sure of that,” I say. “Or maybe there will be. Maybe I’ll just think fuck it and go for it with Sailor. Will the gods really kill her father? Do they really want to get on the wrong side of the one person who can save us all?”
“It’s too much of a risk, Rye. You know what they’re like. If they think for a second you’re willfully defying them, they’ll act out of anger before they consider the consequences. You need to be more rational than that. You need to consider the consequences of your actions.”
“She thinks I hate her, Nexus,” I say. “It’s killing me to have her feel that way.”
“And how do you think she’ll feel if the gods kill her father and she finds out you knew that’s what you were risking? Rye, I know you lost your family and I know how much that hurt you. You of all people know what that’s like. Don’t make Sailor have to pay the gods’ selfish price.”
“I won’t. I promise. But shit, Nexus, it’s so hard to be around her and not be able to be with her.”
“I know,” she says softly. “But you’re here for a mission, Rye, and that has to come first.”
“Do you agree with it? The gods’ rule?” I ask.
“That’s not for me to decide,” Nexus says. She pauses and then goes on. “But if it were up to me and that girl manages to save the world, then she should be allowed to love whoever she wants, god or not.”
Somehow, knowing Nexus is on my side, even if she has to push me to obey the rules, makes me feel a bit better.
“Thanks, Nexus,” I say. “Do you have any
