I saw his Tesla pull into the parking lot. I wanted to keep my cool, but there was so much vitriol in me. Nick strolled in and he looked better than the last time I’d seen him. He got a haircut. He wasn’t wearing sweats. He dressed up to see me. I didn’t care.
He approached me and stood over me like I would rise and give him a hug. Boy bye! When he realized that wasn’t happening he planted his narrow behind in the chair across from me.
“I’m so happy you showed up.”
Why wouldn’t I? I didn’t stand people up. That was his move.
“I said I would come. So I’m here. I’m not a liar.” Words were just slipping out of me.
“No, you’re not. Is that your favorite coffee?”
“Nope, I changed coffee. Different me, different coffee.” I raised an eyebrow and twisted my lips. It would be hard for me to be civil. This dumb ass small talk was just ridiculous.
“That’s good. Sometimes change is good.”
“I think so. Nick, I’m here. What do you have to say to me?”
He looked around the room and took in a shallow breath. “First, I wanted to apologize about how things ended. I’m sorry. You deserved so much more than that.”
“I deserved more than and I deserve more now.”
“I know and I’m sorry I was so immature. I handled things like a coward. I should’ve had a real conversation with you. That’s not how you treat the people you love.”
That was very true, but at this point I didn’t care anymore. “Okay, so you said you were sorry.”
“Latanya, I am.”
“Great, your apology is date-stamped accepted.” I took a long sip of my coffee. When he didn’t say anything else I was ready to bounce. “Is that all?” I knew there was more. I was afraid to get into it. I wasn’t sure I wanted to know the answers to the questions I had for me. So many questions entered my mind on the drive over here. A part of me wanted to get up and go. The other part of me wanted to confront him with what I knew.
“I know I messed up. I still love you, and I want another chance with you. I miss what we had. I miss out perfect relationship. We were so great together. I see that now.”
I got quiet as a church mouse. I needed to let the bullshit hit my eardrums in a proper manner before I could give this butt a rebuttal. I took a deep breath and glared across the table at him.
“You didn’t dump me because you needed space. You dumped me for someone else.”
“No, that’s not true.”
“You’re lying.”
“I’m not. I, I, I, it wasn’t someone else.”
“I don’t believe you. There was nothing wrong with our relationship, as far as I can tell. How could you need space with I’m not even clingy? You had to be cheating.”
“No, our relationship was great. You were great.”
“Bullshit!” The lady at the table next to us shot a look of interest in our direction. She was trying to listen with her good ear and I gave zero fucks.
“I miss what we had and I want to get back together.”
“Why?”
“Because I love you. I miss what we had. All I do is think about you.”
Okay, Troop.
“Nicholas David Hayworth, I saw a picture of you with a guy.” I blurted. Now it was his turn to look foolish. “A guy, a dude, a man, a hard leg.”
“What?”
“I saw a picture of you with your fucking mouth on another man’s mouth.” It was an Instagram screenshot that Tamika sent me so I wouldn’t go into this little meeting blind. She didn’t want Nick to lie to me. I believe he wouldn’t have mentioned it at all if I didn’t slap him in the face with it.
“I can explain that.” He nervously muttered.
“Can you?” I felt my eyes squint.
“I was confused.”
“About your sexuality?” He wasn’t twenty-something. He was thirty-three.
“No, yes. I don’t know.”
Point blank. “Are you gay?”
“Of course not.”
“You dumped me for a guy. Like seriously, what else is that supposed to be?”
“I’m not gay.”
“I don’t care. I don’t understand. We were in a relationship. Was it real?”
“Yes, of course it was real.”
“But you were cheating on me with a man.”
Silence, all he had was silence. I waited for him to admit it and he wouldn’t just come right out and do it.
“Nick, say something. You owe me the truth. If you’re gay, be gay. Are you gay?”
“No, no. I’m not gay. Stop saying that.”
“Well, your little boyfriend’s Instagram page says something else.”
“He was never my boyfriend. I’ve never had a boyfriend.”
“So what was he?” I waited, and he didn’t speak. “You know what, I don’t care. I just wanted you to know that I know. You are a piece of shit. If you wanted to be with guys, you could’ve told me. But you left me wondering what I had done wrong. The only thing I had done wrong was I didn’t have a fucking dick.”
“It wasn’t like that. Please let me explain.”
“I don’t want to hear the sordid details.”
“No, listen. It was not like that.”
“I don’t care what it’s like. I’m not going to be your beard.”
“I made a huge mistake. I tried that life and it’s not for me. It was a mistake. I love you. I only want you.”
“You tried that life. What the fuck are you talking about? You tried to be gay and what, it was too hard for you. So being in an interracial relationship with a woman was just easier or something. I’m not going to ever be second, and I’m definitely not going to share my man
