“Stop trying to make me gay. I’m not gay.” He looked around at the other people at the tables near us.
“Who are you trying to convince? I saw multiple pictures of you with that guy, Josh. He didn’t remove the pictures off of his IG.”
“I don’t like him. That was—”
“It didn’t work out with Josh. Go find someone else then. Don’t try to walk back into my life. I’m over you.”
“Why? You’re seeing that guy?”
“That’s not any of your business.”
“But we have history. We can’t—”
“A history of lies, I can’t trust you.”
“We were friends. We should at least be friends and see what happens.”
I let out a chuckle. I thought he had a shit ton of audacity. “I could be your friend if you had just come to me and said hey I think I want to explore something else. You didn’t do that. You dumped me in a text message. You lied. I can’t be your friend. Go be gay or bi or stay in the closet or whatever. I can’t trust you. We’re not friends. We’re not any-damn-thing.”
The look in his eyes was one of utter disbelief. I don’t know how he thought this would turn out, but he looked stunned.
I wasn’t trying to be a world-class bitch. I meant every word of what I said. If he would’ve ended the relationship we had with courage, I could still be his friend after finding out all this ridiculous information. I didn’t know what it was like to be curious or to be attracted to the same sex. I knew I never would’ve thought any less of him if he would’ve been honest with me while we were together. I hated when people lied to me. I wasn’t sure if he was gay or not. But I was sure it wasn’t something I wanted to be involved with.
Nick was a dick, and I didn’t want to have anything to do with him.
Chain Reaction
I had it. I had two months of pure bliss. We were official. I had a boyfriend that was thoughtful, loving and adored me. I had more passionate sex than I could handle. I didn’t know how long it would last. And then it all stopped. This wasn’t my year.
Did they say bad news happens in three’s or was in bad things happened in three’s? Well, it didn’t matter. Nothing could top finding out my ex-boyfriend was probably gay. Everything was going good. And then I got ghosted by Brandon.
I wasn’t sure why this kept happening to me. But it happened again. I did nothing to deserve it. Another man did a disappearing act on me. Now I was back wrecking my brain trying to figure out what I did or what I said to make Brandon abandon me. I knew I hadn’t done a thing.
Maybe I was just a clueless dummy. I didn’t see this coming. I thought everything was going good. I missed whatever cues he was giving me. I didn’t see it coming. It was so frustrating and I was already going through the host of emotions that occur when you’re dumped.
I was a terrible judge of character. Why did Brandon go to the doctor with me so we could be sexually safe and exclusive just to bail on me in two months?
I’d texted Brandon and called him. I didn’t get an answer. This went on for a week. I’d left messages and then I realized. He dumped me. No explanation. He just stopped talking to me. This time I knew I hadn’t done anything at all. Just like before, I did not understand what happened. One minute everything was fine. The next minute, Brandon disappeared.
It was no fun being dumped. It hit me suddenly. This was happening to me, and I needed a day to process it. I called in sick to work. I decided to I lay in bed all day. I needed to put the pieces of the puzzle together.
I had my laptop on the bed. I was going to spend the entire day sleeping and watching whatever came up on my Netflix queue.
My cell phone scared me when it rang. I searched under my favorite Game of Thrones throw blanket until I found my cell phone somewhere near my feet.
“Hello.”
“Hey, you’re not at work.” Mark’s voice seemed worried.
“I know. I’m sick.”
“No, you’re not. You didn’t even text me. You can’t let that asshole stop your bag.”
“Please don’t talk like that.”
“Like what?”
A Black person. “Forget it, what’s the problem? What do you need?”
“There’s no problem. You just never call in, and on a Friday. Did you have your coffee this morning?”
“No, I just slept all morning.”
“It’s lunchtime. Did you eat something?”
“Not yet. But I’m not hungry.”
“You’re always hungry.”
“That’s true, but I’m sleeping today.” I tossed the blanket over my freezing feet.
“Are you sad?”
“Yes, I am.”
“No, no, you need to cut that out.”
“I wanted to be sad at home instead of at work. I’ll be back Monday.”
“I’ll bring you a pizza from Rosati’s today, after I leave here.”
“You don’t have to do that.”
“I know, but I want to do it. I’m going home first. Then I’m going to pick up your pizza. I know you’re hungry. You want hot wings too?”
“Yes, I do. Are you really driving over here?”
“Yes, I’ll be there after work.”
“Fine, whatever.” I shrugged, although he couldn’t see me through the cell phone.
“Answer when I call.”
“Okay.”
He hung up. I couldn’t really argue with him. I would be hungry sometime in the future. Pizza and hot wings would make me feel better. I needed to shower before Mark arrived, and the thought of leaving the comfort of my bed didn’t bring me much comfort at all. Brandon’s childish actions upset me, but I was happy I hadn’t shed a tear. I guess breaking up with people face-to-face was a thing of the past. I didn’t get the memo.
* * *
I feel asleep a few times. I woke to Tami coming into the front door and
