“I’m sorry I haven’t called you since – that night,” I say softly.
“I’ll admit, I was surprised. Ordinarily, I have to change my number because I get so many calls for a second round,” he replies, flashing me a grin.
I laugh and shake my head. “Such a cocky asshole.”
“I’ve been told it’s one of my better qualities.”
“You were lied to.”
We both laugh together for a moment, and I revel in the quiet in my mind. Seems like it’s the first time it’s been peaceful up there in a week. Sawyer looks over and gives me a gentle smile.
“It’s okay,” he tells me. “I understand why you didn’t call. I know you’ve got a lot going on.”
I nod absently, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear and looking out across the lake. My heart lurches in my chest and feel a tingling throughout my body. I know that this is it. This is the point where I either choose to let him into my life or shut him out – possibly forever. I take a long, deep breath and then let it out slowly.
“Things have been falling apart lately,” I start slowly. “That call you heard earlier…”
My voice trails off. I swallow hard, having trouble getting the words out of my mouth. For his part, Sawyer remains silent. Patient. He doesn’t pressure me and seems content to let me play this out in my own way. And I appreciate him for that.
“That was – my super,” I confess, my cheeks burning with shame. “He’s threatening to evict me.”
“Evict you?” Sawyer asks, his voice full of surprise. “But why?”
I sigh, my shame only deepening. “I’m behind on the rent. Again,” I admit. “The bills have been stacking up, and I’m having to rob Peter to pay Paul.”
I fall silent and feel the tears of embarrassment sliding down my face. Sawyer reaches out and using his thumb, wipes the tears away. He leans forward and plants a gentle kiss on my forehead. It’s a comforting gesture that fills me with a sense of warm gratitude. He gives me a smile and wraps his arm around me as I lay my head on his shoulder.
“Is it because of the cost of your father’s meds?” he questions.
I nod and smile weakly. “That and because being a public defender doesn’t exactly afford you a champagne and caviar lifestyle,” I tell him. “It barely affords you a pizza and beer lifestyle.”
The deep chuckle in his voice reverberates through my entire body and makes me smile. Despite the shitstorm my life has become of late, being with Sawyer brings me a sense of comfort. Happiness.
I’ve been fighting it hard, but now, sitting here, feeling his body pressed to mine, I can’t deny it any longer. Even despite everything in my life, I’m happy with him.
I melt against him and soak in the warmth that’s radiating through me. I spend the next half an hour telling him my tale of woe. I lay it all out for him and don’t spare any of the ugly, embarrassing details. I even tell him about the fact that my father managed to accrue a mountain of debt because of his gambling – something I’m still trying to pay down.
Through it all, Sawyer listens to my every word, never interrupting, never scoffing, and best of all, ever judging me. He just – listens. And when I’m done, I feel somehow unburdened. My heart is lighter and freer than it’s been in what seems like forever.
And all I can do is smile at him.
“Anyway, things are difficult at the moment, but I’ll get through it,” I murmur. “I’ll figure it out.”
“I can help, Berlin. I’d be more than glad to help.” His voice is soft. “You’re not alone in this.”
I shake my head. “It’s okay, Sawyer. I’ll get through it. I’ve been in tough spots before,” I say. “This is no different.”
“It is, though,” he replies. “The difference is that this time, I’m here for you, Berlin. I’m here to help. I want to help.”
“I appreciate that. I really do,” I tell him. “But I’ve managed this long on my own. I’ll be okay.”
Sawyer looks down at me. “You know, it’s not a sign of weakness to admit you need help now and then,” he says. “It’s actually a sign of strength.”
I laugh as I look into his eyes. “You sound like a fortune cookie,” I giggle. “Or a self-help book.”
“You know, you’re not nearly as good at deflecting as you think you are,” he grins.
“Sure I am. I’m actually pretty brilliant at it,” I tease. “You’re just not very good at letting me deflect.”
“Let me talk to your super,” he replies. “I can talk to him and convince –”
I shake my head vigorously. “Oh no. I appreciate it, but I’m not letting you anywhere near my super. I know better than that.”
“What is that supposed to mean?”
I laugh. “It means I know you’ve got a temper. And believe me, Lou will push your buttons,” I argue. “The last thing I want is to get tossed out on the street because you beat Lou’s ass. Not that I would mind seeing Lou get his ass beat but – no. Just no.”
“Fine,” he responds. “Then let me get you caught up. I can help with some of the bills –”
“The only thing I want you to do less than speaking with Lou, is paying my bills,” I retort. “Not to sound like a cliché, but I’m not that kind of girl.”
“What kind of girl is that?”
“The kind of girl who doesn’t pay her own way,” I fire back. “Or who relies on anybody else to pay her bills.”
He nods. “I can respect that,” he says. “But there’s nothing wrong with the kind of girl who accepts a helping hand now and then.”
“We can go around and around all day, but my answer’s not going to change,” I stand firm. “Now, we can keep bickering, or we can just enjoy
