We’re obviously not there yet. But I hope that one day soon we can be. I want to move forward with Berlin in my life. I want her to stop keeping me at an arm’s distance and let me in with no reservations. I take a drink of my coffee and decide now is as good a time as any.
“Without sounding like I’m trying to solve all your problems, I’d like to make you a proposal,” I begin.
“If this has anything to do with you giving me money –”
“Far from it,” I promise.
“Then what is your proposal?”
“Come work for me,” I tell her. “I need a good personal attorney.”
“Sawyer, I –”
“Wait, wait,” I cut her off. “Hear me out first.”
She sits back in her seat, cradling her coffee cup in both hands as if trying to absorb the warmth as the evening sets in and the temperature starts to plunge.
“Consider it a temporary thing. A sort of bridge between jobs,” I explain. “You’ll be free to come and go as you please as you look for another job more suited to your talents and liking, but you’ll assist me with projects I need handled.”
“What sort of projects?”
I shrug. “Whatever may come up that requires a lawyer’s touch.”
She smiles. “I thought Rider was your fixer?”
“This is New York. One can never have too many fixers.”
She laughs. “I don’t know, Sawyer. I mean, I appreciate the offer but –”
“Hey, you haven’t let me finish my sales pitch yet.”
Her smile is dazzling, even in the oncoming gloom of the night. “Well, by all means. Pitch away.”
“I can guarantee you’ll make double what you made at the PD’s office,” I begin. “Better benefits for as long as you’re with us, which will help with your dad’s meds. Whatever you need. You set your own terms, Berlin.”
“That’s very generous, Sawyer.”
“It’s the least I can do after allowing your sex life to become salacious gossip.”
She laughs softly, and I can see her pondering the offer. She’s a proud woman. I know there’s some small voice in the back of her head telling her that this is an act of charity and to reject it out of hand – she doesn’t want to be viewed as a charity case. I know I need to give her a gentle push to silence that voice.
“Like I said, it’s a temporary gig, Berlin. Just until you find something that will be a good fit for you,” I press. “And before you even begin to think about rejecting this as a handout, believe me when I say you will work for your money. I promise you that. This isn’t an act of charity. It’s bringing in a more than capable lawyer to help me protect my company.”
She chews on her bottom lip, and I watch the wheels in her head spinning. She’s weighing out all the pros and cons and looking for hidden strings or pitfalls, which makes me chuckle to myself. I know Rider does this as well, which makes me wonder if all lawyers are this cynical. Finally, she raises her head and gives me a smile.
“Can I think about it?” she asks.
“Absolutely. Take your time.”
“Thank you, Sawyer.”
“Nothing to thank me for. Like I said, this is a legit job offer, and if you accept it, I’m going to put you to work.”
She smiles. “Noted.”
We stare at each other for a long moment, and I’m again haunted by that unspoken – thing – I see in her eyes. I don’t know what it is, and it’s driving me crazy.
“Is everything okay, Berlin?” I ask tentatively. “Is there something going on?”
She shakes her head. “No – well, nothing I haven’t told you tonight.”
I nod, but still feel unsettled – and more certain that she’s still holding out on me. I have no idea what she’s holding back, but I know it’s there. And I know it’s something big.
Chapter Twenty-Three Berlin
“So you took the job, right?” Gabby asks.
“I’m – thinking about it.”
“What is there to think about, babe?” she gapes at me. “You need a job; he’s offering you a job. And with full bennies and double the pay? What are you waiting for?”
“It’s complicated.”
I sit back and take a drink of my soda as Gabby continues to stare at me like I’ve suddenly sprouted a second head. I know from her standpoint, it’s the perfect set up – money and benefits. But there’s more to it than that. A lot more.
“Is it because you’d be working with Sawyer?” she asks.
I shrug. “That’s part of it,” I tell her. “I mean, working with somebody I’m sort of seeing could be problematic.”
“Only if you let it be,” she presses. “You’re two grown adults – surely you can separate work from personal, can’t you?”
I laugh softly. “In theory.”
I sigh and look around the small vegan café Gabby chose to meet in. It’s around the corner from her office and is full of the lunchtime crowd; people in power suits stuffing their faces before they have to get back to their respective offices. Waitresses scurry about, dropping off plates of food amid the buzz of conversation.
I take a bite of my spinach wrap and chew thoughtfully as Sawyer’s words bounce around in my head. On paper, taking the position with his company makes sense. It would be a good stopgap until I find the job I want – for a number of reasons. Being able to survive, feed myself and my father, and take care of his medical needs chief among them.
At the same time though, there are a number of obstacles that I’m having trouble seeing my way around. There is, of course, the fact that we’re seeing each other. That provides plenty of complications, all on its own. There is also the fact that his company stands diametrically opposed to everything I believe in. I’ve spent my entire career fighting companies like Compass who trample over people in the name of profit.
“Not
