“Here we go with this shit again,” I groan.
“I just thought it was an opportune time to remind you of some of the things you’ve said.”
“That was back when I was young and stupid,” I respond. “Like I’ve told you a million times already, I don’t think that’s in the cards for me.”
“Two things,” he begins. “First, that doesn’t deny that you still want that very thing. And two, you also said that finding a true and lasting love wasn’t in the cards for you either. And yet, here we are.”
“Who said love? I never said anything about love. Nobody’s saying that,” I counter. “We’re way too new to even be talking about that word.”
“Wow,” he laughs out loud. “I can’t believe how fast and tight your asshole puckered when I brought up the word ‘love’.”
“I’m going to stab you with this chicken bone.”
He laughs, but it slowly fades away, and he gives me a more serious expression. “Seriously, Sawyer. Would it be such a bad thing?” he asks. “Having a good woman in your life? Having some kids and stability in your world?”
I wave him off. “We’re not there yet,” I say. “And this whole having children thing is a product of your imagination.”
“A wee bit defensive about it, aren’t we?”
“I’m pretty sure with my money; I can get away with murdering you right here and now.”
“Probably,” he grins. “Still doesn’t make me wrong, though.”
I sit back in the booth and take a long swallow of my beer. It’s been a long while since I’ve given serious thought to having a family of my own. I won’t lie – the idea still holds some appeal for me. But it’s not something I think will actually come to pass.
“This is all pointless conjecture,” I note. “Berlin’s not pregnant.”
“You sure?”
“Positive.”
“Then ask her what she’s hiding from you.”
“I’m sure it’s something to do with her father.”
“So ask.”
“She’ll tell me when she’s ready.”
Rider grins fiendishly. “Why are you so afraid to ask her? Afraid of what you might hear?”
I laugh and drain the last of my beer. “I’m not afraid. It’s just not my business,” I respond. “I have to learn to respect her boundaries.”
Rider sits back and smiles like the Cheshire Cat. “Wow. You really are turning over a new leaf,” he says. “It’s like I don’t even know you anymore.”
“You are really on a roll tonight,” I note. “You seem to enjoy really twisting that knife.”
“It’s kind of nice to be on the giving end of things for a change,” he offers.
I scrub my face with my hands but can’t keep myself from chuckling. This whole situation – even talking about Berlin being pregnant – is absurd. If she was, I’m sure she would have told me by now. That woman is nothing if not responsible.
Still, that fearful, almost haunted look in her eyes continues to flash through my mind. She’s definitely got a secret, and despite what I said to Rider, I really don’t think it has to do with her father. I can almost guarantee it has to do with her – us. But I can’t see deeply enough into her mind to know what it is.
A fact that’s frustrating the shit out of me. But, like I told Rider, I am trying to learn to respect her boundaries and be a better man. I’ve never felt the need to change for anybody, but there’s just something about Berlin that inspires that desire to change and grow in me.
Yeah. She’s definitely cast a spell on me. There’s no doubt about it.
Chapter Twenty-Seven Berlin
“So how are you settling in?”
“So far, so good,” I say.
“Everybody treating you well?”
I nod. “Yeah, well enough I guess,” I tell him. “Although Rider seems to be taking an evil glee in tormenting me.”
Sawyer laughs. “Yeah, that guy’s a real jokester.”
“Does anybody take anything seriously around here?”
“Every now and then.”
I smile and shake my head at him. In that quiet moment, my stomach churns, and my heart stutters inside of me. I know I need to do the right thing. It’s time I come clean and open my mouth to tell him about the baby, but once again, my courage fails me. The words die on my lips. I clear my throat and run a hand through my hair.
Instead of doing what I know I should do, I look around his office and try to pry the fingers of guilt that grips me tightly. The last time I was here, I didn’t really stop and take the time to take it all in. Now that I have a minute, as I look around Sawyer’s office, my impression is that everything is – big. Larger than normal. The chair I’m sitting in for instance, a deep, plush wingback, practically swallows me whole. I feel completely engulfed by it.
“Why is everything in this office so large?” I ask.
“Maybe it’s all normal sized, and you’re just small.”
I sigh. “You just have a smartass answer for everything, don’t you?”
“Pretty much, yeah.”
We stare at each other for a long moment, and when Sawyer doesn’t speak, I roll my eyes.
“Why did you call for me, Sawyer?” I ask. “What am I doing here?”
He shrugs. “I just wanted to say hi.”
I give him a deadpan stare. “Are you serious?”
“What? Is there something wrong with wanting to greet my employees and make sure they’re transitioning into the company okay?”
“Oh, is that what this is?”
“Yeah, pretty much.”
“Mmm-hmmmm,” I smile.
He gets up and comes around his desk, and when he takes my hand, my stomach lurches. His touch sends tendrils of electricity crawling along my skin, making my heart pound in my chest. He pulls me to my feet and walks me over to the wall of windows. We stand side by side, close enough that our hips touch, and look out over the city.
Though dark gray clouds hang low in the sky, blanketing the city in a light mist and dull light, I can’t help
