I drop my bag to the floor and reach for the handle, only to find it locked. Damn, I really want to know what’s behind there. I give the mysterious door my back and step forward, when a murmur of voices has me peering over the curve of my shoulder again. The Nosey Nancy that I am, I press my ear against the door and listen.
“What was the deal with that?”
Oh, that’s Gray’s voice.
A deeper voice that can only be Rowan’s follows next, “It’s a long story.”
“I have all the time in the world. Who was Everly? She’s hot,” Gray says.
“I don’t want to talk about her. Our friendship ended badly. That’s all you need to know,” Rowan says to him.
My heart breaks a little more, and a tear finally falls down my cheek. I raise my hand to the door, holding it there, wishing it was his chest under my palm instead.
“So, I can ask her out? You won’t care?” Gray asks.
I wait, holding my breath to see what Rowan will say.
“I really don’t care what you do, Gray. She isn’t my business.”
The way he says it makes me stumble backward until the back of my knees hit the bed, and I collapse onto my back. I cover my face with my hands and sob silently. My shoulders shake, and my heart explodes into a million broken pieces. I flop over onto my side and grab the pillow to muffle my wails.
I don’t want to give my location away. Not that it matters. He doesn’t care. I always knew he hated me, but a part of me had hope that he would forgive me. It is stupid; I know that. What I did to him doesn’t deserve forgiveness, but how he talks about me… there’s so much venom in his tone. And it hurts so damn bad.
“What do you mean you don’t care?” Gray asks as they walk down the hall.
The tears don’t stop falling, but I must be a glutton for punishment because I listen to see what Rowan will say back. This is why I really hate that this house echoes.
“Ask her out. I don’t care but know she doesn’t really care about you if she says yes. You can’t trust her, okay? She’s not a good person. I wouldn’t waste my time if I were you.”
Don’t waste his time? Okay, I deserved that, but it doesn’t make it hurt less. Am I unstable? Is it still supposed to hurt after two years? It’s the guilt that won’t allow me to move on, but Rowan won’t let me speak to him, not that I deserve it. I was a coward two years ago, and maybe I still am, but now all I feel is fear, rather than uncertainty. I don’t know Rowan Michaels anymore. Does he really think that of me? That I’m not a good person?
I know it’s my fault, but I didn’t think I deserved that. I can’t stop my thoughts from spiralling. I abandoned him, and now all I see in his eyes is rage. Deep in my heart, I know he would never lift a hand to me, and that the only way he would hurt me is with his tongue. Like he already has.
Gray and Rowan’s voices disappear down the hall, and I sit up, wiping my tears away. No, fuck this. I’m not going to be this girl, even though I really want to be, and be hated because of a mistake I made two years ago. I’m not that woman anymore. I wouldn’t ever do that to anyone anymore.
So, I do what any girl does to make a man jealous. They make sure their looks can kill, and that starts with shaving everything. I run to the bathroom and wash my face, shave my legs—twice—and put on my makeup. I never was the kind of woman to wear a lot of it, so just some mascara, gloss, blush, and a bit of brow gel to keep these caterpillars in place.
Will he look at me? Probably not. And I have to remember that, but there are bars in Spokane. And it is time to put the past behind me and live for me now. I’ll apologize to Rowan, maybe. I don’t know if it’s worth it, considering it won’t change anything and he doesn’t think I’m worth it, so why waste any more time?
I need to move on. Rowan has my heart, but he doesn’t want it, and I need to do what I can to get it back. Maybe, one day, I can find the strength to give it to someone else again.
I slip on a pair of leggings, cute brown boots that pull up to my thigh that have a very small heel, and a tight dark blue sweater dress. I always loved a deep blue because it brings the honey brown tones out in my hair even more.
Flipping my hair over my shoulder, I grab my purse and strut out the bedroom door and down the steps. Raised voices echo through the lobby, and as curious as I am, I head straight to the front door.
“Everly, wait!” I hear from behind me. I tense up for just a moment, but then realize it’s not Rowan’s voice.
I turn to see Gray, his big blue eyes pleading.
“You can’t leave me here!” Gray reaches for my arm.
“I don’t even know you,” I say, trying to rip my arm free of his soft hold.
“I know. I’m okay with that, but I need out of these stone walls. Please.”
Right as I’m about to open my mouth, Rowan comes storming out of the living room and stops in his tracks when he sees me and Gray. His eyes go from my face, to
