“What the fuck is your problem?” Phillip pushes my chest, and I stumble back. “Do you want to fight? Then fight me. Don’t pick one with her.”
I have so much built up emotion bursting inside me, spewing all kinds of things through my mind. I want to scream. I want to hit something. I want to feel fucking better than I have been since the day she left. I just want the feelings to go away.
“I like your hair better long,” I say with a smirk, before turning around and walking away. Gray shakes his head, disappointed in me. I know. I’m disappointed in myself, but I don’t know how to stop the venom from pouring off my lips.
And it’s not even true. I actually love her shorter hair. I want to tell her she is still the most beautiful woman in the world.
But the resentment is too strong right now.
“Good thing I didn’t get it cut for you,” she shouts after me.
I open the door to the house and slam it as hard as I can, causing the stained glass in the middle of the wood to shatter and fall on the floor.
“What the fuck is wrong with you?” Gray pushes my shoulders, but I’m numb to it all.
“She is, man. She’ll always be what’s wrong with me,” I whisper and hit his shoulder with mine as I run up the steps. I feel like I’m eighteen again, nursing my broken fucking heart.
And I have a feeling the only one that can put it back together is Everly Madison.
I’m not proud of how I just acted, but these feelings that have been pushed aside seem to be stronger than my self-control.
Chapter 6 Everly
“Are you okay?”
I rip my eyes away from Rowan’s retreating form and stare at Phillip, who has been nothing but kind and sincere since we met earlier. He was an ass in high school, but he grew up and matured into someone I didn’t think he could be—it’s a good surprise. The old Phillip would have driven past the woman with the flat tire, maybe laughed or yelled something rude and inappropriate.
Blinking my tears back, I somehow bring a smile to my face. “I’m fine.”
“I thought you and Rowan were as thick as thieves.”
“Things change,” I say with a shoulder shrug.
“I didn’t think anything could tear you guys apart,” he frowns.
“Well, I messed up really bad, and these are my consequences.”
Phillip tilts my chin up with his fingers and gives me a sad expression. His blue eyes crinkle with understanding, and his lips frown with empathy. “You shouldn’t have to continuously pay for your mistakes. What a lot of people don’t get, is when you do make them, you already treat yourself worse than anyone ever could. I understand people for being mad for disappointing them, but how long can a beating take before you break?”
I wipe the tear struggling to not fall from my lower lash line and nod, “You’re a lot smarter than you used to be.” I make sure I say it in a way that sounds like I’m joking. I don’t want him to think he isn’t intelligent.
He shoves his hands in the pockets of his brown Carhart jacket and swallows, causing his Adam’s apple to bob. “I’ve had a lot happen to get me where I’ve needed to be.”
I place my hand on his shoulder and duck my head down to catch his gaze as it moves to the ground. “If you ever need a friend, I’m more than happy to lend an ear.”
“Just a friend?” he raises an eyebrow.
“Yeah, I’m not good to date right now.”
“It’s because of Rowan, isn’t it?”
I sigh, not wanting to admit anything, but it’s obvious. Even though Rowan and I no longer speak, the feelings I have for him control everything I do. “It’s a long story.”
“Maybe friend to friend, you can tell me one day.”
“I’d like that, Phillip,” I say with a big, earnest smile, and to my surprise, he gives me one right back. Yeah, this is a different Phillip. An older, wiser, yet somehow jaded and empty Phillip. One who is kind, but he somehow seems to have gotten some of his life ripped from him.
“Great. How about we exchange numbers to keep in touch? I swear, just friends.”
“I believe you.” I get my phone out, and we give each other our phones.
After punching a few buttons, I have my phone back in my hand. “Jeez, your number really weighed it down.”
“Oh, she has jokes, funny.” Phillips wraps his arm around me and pulls me to his chest for a hug.
I don’t mean to compare, but I do. I don’t get the same heart-thumping, blood-rushing, lip-tingling feeling with Phillip like I do with Rowan, when Phillip holds me. He is taller than Rowan, built, but that’s where the similarities end.
Turning my cheek to lay against his pec, my hands come up and lay flat against his chest, and I sigh. I haven’t been held by a friend in a really long time, and it feels nice. I wish I felt something for Phillip. I’d take a microscopic ounce of what I feel for Rowan, just to get over him and move on.
Phillip doesn’t make my body come alive or my skin buzz. When he looks at me, I don’t feel my world tilting or my soul shifting. His chest isn’t as firm and muscular as Rowan’s, and as his heart pumps against my ear, the only heart I can think about is Rowan’s.
“You’ll be okay one day, you know.”
“I’m okay now,” I lean back and stand on my tiptoes to place a kiss on his cheek. “Thanks for being a good friend. I have Blaire, but sometimes another person to have in my corner is great. I’m not saying I deserve to have someone in my corner, what I did was really messed up. I don’t blame Rowan for hating me.”
“If you think Rowan hates
