I start to move again, keeping a steady pace. The moment is slow and sensual, and I’m not ready for that. She’s making me feel too vulnerable. She is making me want to forget the pain she has caused me over the years. But I can’t do that yet.
Sitting up, I wrap her legs around me and stand. When we get to the wall, I turn her around, so she is facing the wall. My hand falls between the middle of her slim shoulders and holds her down as I start another fast rhythm. My heavy sack swings back and forth, hitting her clit.
I glance down to see my cock sliding in and out of her hungry folds. I think about all the years wasted not having her. I could be fucking my wife right now, but instead, I’m in this situation.
Yeah, my wife. I thought Everly was going to be her. My one. But life has a funny way of changing.
The sheen against my cock shows her juice and my come from earlier. The view has my balls rolling again. The two dimples decorating her lower back are beautiful. My thumb settles right over them as I spread my palm over her ass as I plummet into her pussy.
I slam her against the wall and pull her hair back, getting ready to come again. Her back and my chest slide together from all the sweat, and when she reaches back, wrapping her arm around my neck and pulling me into another sloppy kiss, I come.
And it triggers her orgasm.
Best sex of my fucking life.
But the fantasy crashes down and gets replaced by reality very quick. Everything I tried not to think about during sex hits me like a freight train.
We stand there, trying to catch our breaths, and before I can stop them, the worst four words I could ever say come stumbling out of my mouth. Instead of saying how amazing it was, how good she felt, and how I want to feel her again—I say something else.
“This was a mistake.”
I pull my softening cock out of her pussy, and I want to groan from how sensitive and good it feels, but I hold it in. If I were to groan right now after saying those four words, I’d be a real asshole.
She doesn’t even turn around. She stays against the wall, legs spread, chest heaving, come dripping down her thighs, and nods. Everly doesn’t say anything, though. She bends over and grabs the towel off the floor and hits my shoulder with hers as she pushes by me and slams the door to the bathroom.
The part of me that holds on to that anger is happy she’s mad, but the better part of me regrets the four words that left my mouth. On top of hurting her, she probably feels used.
And that’s on me.
Chapter 18 Everly
I wake up the next morning with swollen eyes from crying all night. Rowan and I haven’t spoken a word since he pulled out of me last night and said it was just a mistake. So many thoughts ran through my mind after he did that.
Did he really even want me yesterday? Or was all that amazing sex just an opportunity for him to get back at me?
Because it worked. He has succeeded at breaking me. He got what he wanted. Payback is a bitch—I get it. It’s cruel. I’ve never considered him a cruel man, but what he did was cruel. I know what I did to him was wrong, and maybe I made him feel used and alone, but it was never to be vindictive.
I was scared. Afraid of ruining our friendship. And I ended up ruining it anyway. I never said it was smart, but I was just a kid. I didn’t know any better. Did I deserve what he did to me?
Yes. In hindsight it made sense, but how much longer do I have to deal with his anger and frustration? I can’t do it anymore. Tears spring to my eyes again, and an ache between my legs makes me sigh in pain as I roll out of bed. I’m not crying because it hurts, I’m crying because of why it hurts.
I press the palm of my hands to my eyes and take a few deep breaths. I can do this. I can make it through today, and after we find our parents, it’s official, I will never see or talk to Rowan again. We are history. It’s time I move on. This self-abuse, this torture of pining over someone I can never have, is not only getting pathetic, but it is sad. I have other things in my life to worry about than always fretting about Rowan.
I get out of bed and stretch and thank whoever for small favors, for giving the penthouse another bathroom. I don’t want to go anywhere near that master suite. I want to stay away, as far away as I can from Rowan Michaels.
Until I look out the window and see the snow-covered mountains with fresh flakes falling. I’ll have to be with him when we go with the search party today and look for our parents, but I’m still going to stay as far away as possible.
I stroll over to the shower and do my business. When I’m dressed, I make sure I lace up my boots nice and tight. They come all the way up to my knees. The perfect winter boot. They are a bitch to tie, but at least I’ll be warm.
Once that is done, I French braid two ponytails and tie them together in the back. I don’t bother with makeup. I’m not trying
