I catch another taxi, and before I know it, I’m at my apartment complex, fishing out my keys and unlocking the door.
“Hey!” Blaire greets me, running to the door to take my bag out of my arms. “Oh, babe. Come here.” She pulls me into a tight hug. The love I’m getting from my best friend is all I need.
I let go.
I let go of everything and cry as hard as I can. I don’t have to pretend with Blaire. She understands. And when she doesn’t, she acts like she does because she never wants anyone to feel bad.
“It’s okay. Let it all out,” she croons.
But the smell of her infiltrates my sensitive stomach, and I push her out of the way and run toward the bathroom. I barely lift the toilet seat before I’m tossing up my lunch. I groan. My forehead feels hot, and my back starts to sweat. Gross. Maybe I just need to shower and get all the traveling off me.
“Are you okay?”
“It’s just been stressful. I’m fine,” I say.
“What the ever-loving fuck is on your finger?” she gasps, grasping my hand hard to turn it left and right so the diamond can capture all angles of the light. “Is that an engagement ring?”
“Close. It’s a wedding ring.”
The look on her face would be comical if it wasn’t for the seriousness of my statement. “No, really. Where did you get that, Everly?”
“A filthy rich billionaire that I married in Vegas because our parents left a will saying we had to marry someone in thirty days, and one of us has to live at the estate to take care of it for six months. Instead of finding people to marry, we married each other.”
“I’m assuming since you are here and he isn’t, it didn’t go over real well.”
“When does it ever? It’s me. Apparently, I don’t know how to talk to people. And I never know how to talk with Rowan.”
“He loves you, Everly.”
I shake my head. “I don’t doubt that, but I think he is in love with what we used to be, how we used to be, the memories. Things like that.”
“Are you?” she asks.
“No. I love him so much it hurts. He has my heart.”
“Then why are you assuming you know what he wants. You know you love him. You know you’d do anything for him, but instead, you are looking for reasons for him not to love you like you do him. That’s not fair. Sure, what you did all those years ago sucked. You should have gone about it a different way, but you meant well. Now, look at him. He is a millionaire—”
“—Billionaire,” I correct her with a smile on my face.
She rolls her eyes. “Whatever. Same thing. Money is money. I don’t think he would have all that if you didn’t leave him that day. Is there a possibility? Sure. But we can’t live life off what-ifs. That’s no good. Life will never be fulfilled if it’s lived that way. I think it took him a while to get over what you did, but he is over it, the only person that isn’t, is you.”
I put my head over the toilet when a wave of nausea hits me again from her being right. “I know. I’m so afraid he is going to wake up one day and realize that he doesn’t love me as much as he thought.”
“What else does he need to do? He has loved you since you guys could throw mud at each other. He held you when you got chickenpox, and then he ended up getting chickenpox because he didn’t want you to be alone. He wanted to change his life when you guys finally got together. What about you?”
I wipe my mouth with some toilet paper. “What do you mean?”
“What would you change or give up for him?”
“Everything,” I whisper.
“I have no idea what the hell you are doing here, then. Rent is paid. Andy will find another receptionist. Your husband is in Spokane. That’s where you should be. Marriage is about making it work when you think it can’t. You have to push, Everly. You have to push through the worst of it and get through it. And then it will happen all over again, except, it will be worse again. And worse. But you have to keep finding ways to get through it, or you will never get through anything.”
“You’re right,” I say.
“I know.” She nods, huffing breath on her nails and rubbing them on her shirt. “If you are staying for me, don’t. I’m fine here. I’ll be okay. I always am.”
“That’s a lie. You hate being alone.”
“If I need a change of scenery, I know I can always go back home. I’ll just stay with you in your big fancy mansion.”
“If I can convince him. Oh, god, I think I’m going to be sick again,” I gag over the toilet, wondering what the hell is wrong with me.
“You’re probably pregnant,” Blaire says, laughing because it is supposed to be a joke.
I wipe my mouth with toilet paper again and toss it in the trash, wondering if she is right.
“No, Everly!” she gasps. “You had sex, and you didn’t wear a condom?” Blaire chides.
“It was Rowan,” I say, as if that is reason enough not to wear protection. “I’m on the pill, too.”
“That still has a chance of failing. And because it is Rowan, I bet you’re knocked up. Let me go get a pregnancy test.”
“It won’t show. It hasn’t been that long.”
“How long has it been?”
I don’t say anything.
“How long, Everly?”
“T-three weeks or so,” I finally admit.
“Get your ass up then because we are going to the doctor and getting blood work taken. If you are, you are getting back on that plane and telling him. He deserves to know.”
“I wouldn’t keep this from him!”
“You would, if
