"It's okay. I understand."
"No. You don't."
His eyebrows shoot up at my pointed tone.
I draw in a deep breath. "I'm not ashamed of this." I motion between us. "Of us. I don't even care what everyone will think when they find out. But this thing between us is so new I can't help but feel a little protective of it. I don't want it to be tainted by stupid school gossip at this point. We won't be able to hide it for long—and I'm not saying we should—but for now I just want to be with you without the stress of unwanted attention. Even for just a little while."
And it's the truth. I know people will make a big deal of it, and I don't care. I already got a taste of it when some girls thought they saw me making out with Parker right here in the parking lot weeks ago. But it quickly died down when they realized it wasn't true.
This time will be different. The attention will last for more than just a day, so I want to put it off. Because, seriously, who would want to go through that?
I just hope Parker understands.
Combing a hand through his hair, he finally mutters a begrudging, "I get it." He heaves a sigh. "And I'm sorry for making the wrong assumption."
Relieved, I close the distance between us and thread my fingers through his. "I would have probably done the same."
Squeezing my hand, his lips quirk up in an easy smile, the tension leaving him. "Want to get out of here?"
I nod happily.
CHAPTER 23
Sawyer
We end up in a restaurant almost an hour away from Holy Oaks. Which means the chances of running into anyone from school are slim to none. I can enjoy my time with Parker without thinking about anything else.
And I absolutely do, basking in the way he looks at me—like I'm the only one he sees; like his world revolves around me—and how he's always touching me like he can't help himself. But more than that, I use the time to get him to talk. I have some questions that need answers.
Like why he hadn’t done anything years ago when he realized he liked me. Not that I can say that I’d choose him over Liam. But he could have at least said something.
He swallows hard and cuts his eyes away from me. "Things were complicated." By things, he probably means his dad leaving. "Besides, Liam made his move. So I backed off."
“And went after Peyton.”
"No." He frowns. “She went after me.”
To make Liam jealous. But I don’t tell him that. He probably knows by now, anyway.
If Liam hadn’t gone after me—and if Parker hadn't been saddled with a huge responsibility at an early age and decided to pursue me—I wonder if I would have given Parker a chance. But then, maybe I would’ve gotten together with Parker regardless of Liam’s actions.
And maybe Peyton and I would’ve still been the best of friends. She probably wouldn’t have even thought of betraying me.
But I shouldn’t dwell on what-ifs and what-could-have-beens. I'm just going to drive myself crazy thinking about those alternate realities. And I’ve already put all the Liam and Peyton-related drama behind me, haven't I? Obsessing over it a second time is simply counterproductive.
What matters is the present and my current reality, and I should focus on that.
“What’s on your mind, Peaches?” Parker prods.
“Nothing important,” I say, sipping on my banana milkshake. “So, um, when did you start having feelings for me?”
I didn't intend to ask the question, it just popped out. But now that I've voiced it out, I realize I want to know the answer.
"Freshman year."
My eyes grow wide. "That long?"
He nods.
"Wow." I swallow. "I don't know what to say."
He just shrugs, as if he didn't just steal the breath from my lungs with his admission.
It was one thing coming from Liam, but another thing entirely to hear it from Parker himself. Knowing that he wanted me basically from the start makes me feel—as cliché as it sounds—the most beautiful girl in the world in this very moment. This guy—who would have thought he'd be good for my ego?
With a light heart, I continue with my questioning. Not to pry about his feelings for me anymore, but to get to know him better.
I ask about his hobbies and interests—his favorite books, movies and music—and it's starting to feel like we're on a planned date and not just a spontaneous decision of going some place to eat. Not that I'm complaining.
Parker, being Parker, doesn't look comfortable opening up and talking about himself. But he still answers every question I have for him. Knowing that he's doing it to indulge me makes my heart swell even more.
We stay in the restaurant for another hour before deciding to head back to town. Since we drove in our respective cars, we part ways in the parking lot, where Parker gives me a long, languid kiss goodbye that only has me craving for more. I'm beginning to think that I'm getting addicted to his kisses. Again, no complaints here.
I'm already on the road when my phone rings through the speakers, interrupting the song currently playing. A quick glance at the caller ID lets me know it's Quinn.
"Hey," I greet.
"Where are you?"
"In my room, doing homework." I regret the lie the second I uttered it.
I could have just told her I went out to run some errands. What if she decides to barge into my house at this very minute? She won't find me there.
Besides, I hate that I've been lying a lot to Quinn lately. I feel like such a bad friend. I need to tell her everything soon.
"Nice try. I'm at your house right now, specifically in your room, and you're not here. Unless you're hiding under your bed." There's a rustle, then, "Nope. Not here. So where
