The children stare at me, goggle-eyed, even Ethan who’s still under the table. Suddenly, I realise there’s no other noise in the marquee, nothing apart from the rain, and that’s easing off. Everyone’s silent, and I already know they’re all staring at me. Great. I’ve gone and had a public outburst, on my wedding day … in a cardigan.
‘Auntie Maya’s right.’ Sara hoves into view. ‘Don’t scare the others, Damian. It’s horrible.’
I’m aware of a hand at the base of my spine, that familiar tingling sensation every time he touches me.
‘Wow,’ Dan smiles. ‘That was amazing.’
‘Was it?’
I curl back into his arms. Now the anger’s gone, fear’s nudging its way back into my head. And I’m still shaking.
‘The giant thunder tent thing must have worked.’ He kisses the top of my head.
‘I’ve just had a strop. That’s not good.’
‘Don’t worry about it. Everyone’s on your side.’
I wince, partly from embarrassment, partly because tiny arms and legs are on the move again.
‘Are you okay?’
‘Baby’s getting comfortable.’
He puts a hand on my stomach.
‘Don’t mess with your mum,’ he smiles. ‘She’s a force of nature when she gets going, far scarier than a thunderstorm.’
The hand moves to my chest. He places a palm over my heart and frowns.
‘You should sit down for a while. No arguments.’
He guides me to a seat and waits for me to settle. A glass of orange juice is pressed into my hands, and then he sits next to me, stretching out his legs.
‘What are you doing?’
‘Looking after my wife.’
‘You should be circulating, chatting with the guests.’
‘They’ll understand.’
‘The thunder’s gone. I’ll be fine on my own. We’ve got a lifetime together, Dan. Go and do your duty.’
‘What duty?’
‘Just do it.’
With a sigh, he stands again, straightens his suit and saunters off. Picking up a glass of champagne from a passing tray, he eases himself into conversation with my dad. I miss him already, and I want him back. I’m about to follow and let him know I’ve changed my mind when I hear Lily’s voice.
‘Holding court?’ She plants a dainty kiss on my cheek and takes the seat next to me.
‘I’m under orders to sit down for a while.’
‘I’m not surprised.’
‘I feel like a sack of spanners.’
‘You look absolutely beautiful.’
I can’t believe the statement, but I thank her anyway. While Lily takes a few sips of champagne, I watch Dan as he laughs at something my dad says, and then moves on.
‘What sort of dad do you think he’ll make?’ I ask.
She sucks at her lip.
‘He may not have had a great role-model to begin with, but he’ll do his best.’ She turns to me. ‘You’re not worried, are you?
‘No. I just wonder how he’ll take to it.’
‘He’s a quick learner. I think he’ll be fine.’ Her eyes darken. ‘To think this might never have happened.’
I should have known this would come up. Lily’s done her best to deal with the aftermath of Boyd, but it hasn’t been easy for her.
‘It’s not worth thinking about.’
I watch her closely, spotting a tear in the corner of her eye. She wipes it away, quickly shaking herself back into public mode. I take her hand in mine and squeeze it.
‘He didn’t win. We won.’
‘Still …’
‘It’s done. The future’s all that counts.’
I catch Lucy’s eye, sending her a silent plea for help. Immediately, she breaks off from a chat with Gordon and swoops on us, thrusting a fresh glass of champagne into Lily’s hands.
‘Get that down you, Lil. I’m in the mood for partying, and you’re my perfect partner in crime. Come on.’ She waves a hand impatiently and winks at me. ‘Let’s get down to business.’
‘It looks like I’ve got no choice,’ Lily grins at me.
‘No, you’ve not. Good luck.’
Left alone for a minute, I gaze across the marquee to where Dan’s sitting with his sisters. Looking completely relaxed and utterly gorgeous, he smiles at something Layla says, watching as her two boys whizz about in front of him. I decide to go over and join them, but Clive’s next to me now, distinctly frazzled.
‘How’s the best man?’ I ask.
‘Coping.’
‘Ready for your speech?’
‘Cards.’ He taps his pocket. ‘I’ve made notes on cards.’
‘You’re doing a brilliant job.’
‘You too.’ He pauses. ‘Listen, it seems that Damian’s picked all the flowers off the cake. He ate most of them and then threw up outside. He’s been suitably chastised, but I thought you should know.’
‘He’s the devil’s spawn.’
‘And dinner’s about to be served.’
‘Thank God.’ I glance out of the marquee. It’s stopped raining. Sunlight’s glinting against the wet grass. ‘You’ve been a massive help, Clive. Not just today. You’ve got Dan’s back.’
‘That’s friendship for you.’
‘But you always seem to be running around after him.’
‘I owed him a few favours. He’s helped me out in the past, more times than I care to remember. He deserves to be happy, and I’ve been only too glad to help.’
‘You deserve to be happy too.’
‘I am.’ He nods towards Lucy. ‘She’s as mad as a badger, but I love her. She’s letting loose today, and that’s fine by me.’
‘Be careful. You don’t know how far it can go.’
‘Oh believe me, I do. Now, let’s get everyone into their places.’
Before long, the guests have been ushered into their seats, and I’m back with Dan. We’re served by a succession of glum-looking, wet-haired teenagers, but dinner’s amazing, and at least the morning sickness has gone for now, leaving me free to enjoy it all. As soon as the dessert plates are cleared away, I hear the tinkling of cutlery against a glass. I look up to find my dad’s on his feet.
