‘That?’ I ask.
‘Maybe.’
‘But, I thought …’
‘It was out of the question?’
I watch him closely, registering the slight changes that are beginning to appear. Lips straighten, eyes darken, shoulders arch, as if he’s suddenly poised for action. I’ve seen it all before, and just like before, it sparks off a glow of anticipation deep in my groin. That’s the dominant persona emerging from the shadows, and I’ve missed him too.
Slowly, he moves toward me. When he’s close enough, he traces a fingertip across my stomach. I jolt at the contact, close my eyes and soak up the sensations.
‘What are you doing?’ I ask.
‘Exactly what I want to do. As always.’
He begins to circle me, taking his time, surveying me, drawing his fingers across my flesh. At last, he comes to a halt behind me and I’m pulled in close, one hand on my waist, the other clamped around my right arm. He skims his mouth across my shoulder.
‘You liked the dominant.’
It’s not a question.
‘It turned me on. You know it did.’
‘Me too.’
I’m swamped in confusion. I have no idea where this is going.
‘But … you didn’t want to be that person any more.’
‘I didn’t want to hide,’ he whispers against my ear. ‘And now there’s nothing left to hide from.’ He turns me to face him. ‘I can bring out the dominant for you now, Maya, because it’s only a game. And when we’re finished, I can put him away again.’ He takes hold of my chin. ‘Care to play?’
‘Bloody hell, yes.’ I’m already struggling to control my breath. ‘So, it’s the bench?’
‘There was no way I was ever going to spank you while you were pregnant … or while pain was still an issue. It’s not for me, not any more. Hasn’t been for a long time. How about you?’
I open my mouth, but I’m not exactly sure where to start. He helps me out.
‘I need to know. The loner who didn’t fit in, the child with no self-confidence, the girl who was tormented by her sister.’ Letting go of my chin, he brings a palm to my cheek. ‘The woman who ran away and blocked things out, who felt she deserved punishment. Did you leave her back there on the beach?’
‘Yes,’ I whisper, holding his gaze. ‘Haven’t seen her for a while.’
He nods, blinks lazily. ‘So, tell me. What are you?’
I falter.
‘I don’t understand.’
‘What are you?’ he asks again. ‘I need you to tell me.’
‘I don’t know what you want me to say …’
‘The truth. What are you?’
‘Well …’ I stammer. ‘I’m a woman.’
‘Definitely not a girl,’ he smiles.
‘Definitely not,’ I smile back. ‘I’m a wife and a mother and an artist.’
‘Good. Now, try some adjectives.’ He waits for a moment, his eyes dancing in the light. ‘You do know what adjectives are, don’t you?’
‘Of course I do. Don’t be a condescending twat. I just can’t think of any.’
‘Then allow me to help.’ He takes a moment to study me. ‘Beautiful.’
He pauses again, waiting for me to repeat the word.
‘I don’t know about that.’ I glance down. ‘Stretch marks.’
‘They’re a part of you now, just like my scars are a part of me. Life’s made its mark on both of us. But you’re still beautiful, and I want to hear you say it.’
‘Okay then,’ I mutter, more than slightly embarrassed. ‘Beautiful.’
‘Now give me some more.’
I blow out a breath. I want a session on that spanking bench, no doubt about it, and if I’m to get what I want, I need to do this right.
‘Sexy?’ I ask.
‘Believe it,’ he orders sternly.
‘Okay, sexy. I’m sexy.’
‘Well done. More.’
Shit. More?
‘Brilliant,’ I venture, ‘talented … funny.’
His smile broadens with every word, egging me on.
‘Intelligent … feisty … spunky.’
‘Oh, I like that one.’
‘So do I.’ I tut. ‘Be quiet. I’m on a roll. Talented. No, I’ve said that one. Strong. Caring. Faithful. Lucky. Fucking lucky.’
‘Too right you are.’
‘Happy now?’
I bloody hope so, seeing as I’ve just run out of adjectives.
‘Yes, thank you.’ He gives me a satisfied smile. ‘So, if I were to spank you tonight, what would you get out of it?’
‘Is this a test?’
‘Of course. And you’d better pass.’
Another deep breath.
‘It’s not like that night.’ I nod at the cross and he understands. ‘Not even remotely like that. You once told me I’d enjoy a proper spanking, and I did. It was something else. A pure rush. It hurt for a bit, but then it didn’t.’ I hesitate for a moment, wondering how on Earth I’m going to explain this, and then I hear myself talking, confident, calm, determined. ‘I liked the shock of it, the way it made me feel awake and alive. And when the endorphins kicked in, I felt supercharged. Everything was intense.’ I raise my chin, proud now. ‘If you were to spank me tonight, that’s what I’d get out of it. Absolute pleasure … and a few fucking brilliant orgasms.’
He nods.
‘Perfect. Ten out of ten.’ He holds up the knickers. ‘You’ll be needing these then.’
Buzzing with anticipation, I take them from him, slip them on and wait for the next command.
He taps the padded rest, his eyes glistening with promise.
Immediately, I climb onto the bench, moving my arms and legs into position. As soon as I’m comfortable, a warm palm touches my left shoulder, slowly smoothing its way down my back, across my buttocks, leaving ruffles of pleasure wherever it goes. He repeats the process, two, three times before
